5641

Triffic. I have taught the odd dance class and attended many. Everyone improves. Everyone. If they keep at it :)

5642

Does that kind of dancing actually improve people’s chances? I can see dance classes being a great place to meet people, but I’m having a hard time seeing where salsa dancing would help me in my usual social situations. I’ve never been in an opportunity where I thought “If I just knew how to salsa I would get all the women here.” Maybe a wedding or something, I guess.

5643

I’m not sure it’s as true for salsa, but in most major metro regions you’re going to have a swing (dance!) scene that frequently ends up being a social group as much as anything. Depending on the region, you might also have a blues dancing scene, which often overlaps quite a bit with the swing dancers. Another thing about the swing/blue set, is you’ll typically find a lot of the guys are software/IT people.

5644

IT people and Engineers in Boston. They’re all over the swing scene here. And do they ever get the girls!

5645

Yeah, I can understand that, but that’s still just people you met by the mere fact of taking dance classes. That’s all well and good, but I want stories about people swooping into a random club and breaking out their swing or salsa or tango or whatever and getting women.

I’m not trying to denigrate dancing or anything, it just seems to me that, in terms of meeting people, it’s about on par with a lot of social activities. I could probably join judo and meet as many people.

5646

Judo as an activity probably is much less social. Also, dancing is one of the places where single women will go to meet single men, just as single men will go to meet single women.

5647

Judo is what you do after the social.

— Alan

5648

Dancing classes, especially ones that are paired dancing, have you dancing with different women in the class, which has you practicing your socializing skills as well as your dancing, and you get to meet all the girls in the class, and usually there are always more girls than guys in the class. Judo will probably skew the other direction and have more guys, judging from most of the martial arts classes I went to, and they tend to segregate more in those environments as well.

And you’re much more likely to be able to bust out your dance moves at a bar or club than your judo. (Caveat: unless you’re going to the Road House or something) I have a friend who used to be a dance instructor on a cruise, and yeah, he definitely could sweep a girl off the dance floor by showing off his dancing skills.

That being said, I hate dancing, almost as much as I hate martial arts forms, and I managed to date a bit and find a girl and now I’m married. My opinion is if that if you aren’t actually interested in learning the hobby in any way, don’t do it, as you’ll be miserable, and people will notice and not want to socialize with you anyway.

5649

Judo whatever judo; why should we care what judo?

5650

Judo skews heavily towards men in my experience so it’s probably not as good if you want to date women. Also, grappling. It’s slightly less homoerotic than wrestling since you’re wearing a jacket and pants instead of a skintight singlet but not by much.

5651

Besides, Aikido is far more awesome than Judo, imo.

:)

5652

Yeah, the dancing thing is partially about finding ladies, but also about pushing my boundaries. I specifically want to do something I’m uncomfortable with. Sounds sort of similar to what Ravenight was venturing after with bars.

If I knew I absolutely hated dancing, it’d be a terrible idea. For now, it’s just something I’ve never really given a fair shake.

5653

Aikido is judo for consoles.

H.

5654

What if I like dancing but am terrible at it?

H.

5655

That’s called hip-hop.

5656

Then ask a pretty girl to show you how.

5657

Aikido is for hippys, who talk to much about theory and tend not to practice enough in a full sparring environment to test their theories for their effectiveness.

On the bright side, because if its more flowery nature, it tends to attract more girls.

And to stay on topic: Girls are impressed by dancing skill, but they also like a guy who is willing to make himself look stupid and not care, so there is nothing wrong with dancing poorly, as long as you aren’t crushing the poor girls toes.

5658

This was my main motivation for joining a kickball league. It’s good to be the guy who can punt the ball into the next county every time you line up at the plate, but it’s just as much fun to occasionally knock yourself on your ass running to first on a sacrifice bunt, as long as you can take it in stride and enjoy the experience.

Unless you are one of those people who is horrible at whatever activity you’re trying but convinced that you’re talented (see 90% of all SYTYCD and AI tryouts), as long as you can enjoy the experience, everyone around you - especially the cute girls - will find that endearing.

5659

I’m the exact opposite of that, I think I’m much worse at things than I actually am. I suspect I’m secretly some sort of Catholic/Jewish guilt hybrid.

H.

5660

As great as all the advice to start up a social activity is, I’ve found I only feel really good about dating when I’ve done some work on myself, first. I gotta get the me sexy.

I find I’m only really ready to date after I’ve taken the time to get cool with who I am at the moment, start making positive choices for myself, and gotten constructively, happily involved with my life. Then I actually feel attractive, and have lately found it pretty damn easy to talk to women I’m interested in.

Getting social and going out and doing stuff with and around women was like step 5. The first steps were about getting (more) comfortable with myself. Less time spent on the internet. More time at dinner with friends, lots of talking to friends, counselors, therapists, sponsors, so on. I get the opinion of people who have what I want, or who seem to be connected to a deeper spiritual principle than “get all the ass you can!!” I also feel a lot better when I’m exercising regularly, so I go out and run around as often as I can force myself to. (Changing my route regularly really helps; I just run off in whatever direction I want and see where it gets me) I also found that getting my head and expectations in perspective really helped, which meant prayer/meditation.

Then I made some lists about things I wanted to accomplish and started doing them, rather than letting them sit around in the back of my brain. When they get bored, vague plans turn into assholes. And ticking a lot of stuff off of to-do lists makes me feel good. Laundry? Check! Finally bought a new plant for the dining room table? Check! New shoes? Check! Practice voiceover characters? Check!

I’ve found I don’t have much to offer if I’m not satisfied with my life. And my good Relationship Principle For the Day is to offer all the things I want in a relationship.

/earnestness