So…wait. You’re going to take a woman out on the boat and threaten to murder her if she doesn’t have sex with you? That seems like it might be kinda like rape, Dennis.
Zuwadza
5702
That’s one way of assessing her level of interest. The quicker and more direct way is to just flat out ask her out to a date. If you just go “out” to do some activity everybody is still in the dark. Inviting a girl to join you on a ski trip is pretty ambiguous; asking her out for drinks isn’t.
Yeah, just ask her out for coffee or dinner or a movie or something. Step up your game! ;)
I beg to differ. “Do you want to get drinks?” can mean anything from “I am definitely trying to pick up on you” to “Let’s unwind after work”.
“Do you want to come on a weekend ski trip?” means “I plan to try desperately to get you naked.” It’s as unambiguous as it gets.
JoshV
5706
If its just the two of you, and its far enough away that there will be a hotel stay involved…not so much. If its a group trip, or a day trip, more ambiguous. (Less so if its 1 on 1).
salwon
5707
I really feel like you’re not understanding this.
Alright, I’m going to see if I can jump start my life with some online dating. It only took me 5 months, but I finally put the effort into taking a decent profile pic. Please critique.
So, are you going for the serial killer look ON PURPOSE, or is the blood-splotched hoodie just a happy accident?
Andrew
5710
Also taking one outside, during the day would probably be better.
Also, I think with any shot like that you want to crop it down quite a bit, unless there’s something especially interesting in your surroundings that you want potential dates to see.
Something just occurred to me! I think I need to take it outside…maybe?
fire
5718
First, your surroundings. You use a stainless steel water bottle, possibly to protect the environment, but more likely because it’s a hip thing to do. You rent your apartment, judging by the inadequate lighting, and probably spend a lot of your time on that couch. Since there’s no art or decoration on the wall behind you, this implies that directly across from the blank wall, there’s a big TV screen. I’ll ignore the possibility of the TV and say that blank walls aren’t really a turn-on for most women. A decorated wall makes for a much more pleasant atmosphere, and gives an impression of what kind of guy you are. I can’t really see what’s on the coffee table. XBox controllers? Oh, yeah, that’s another turn-off. Even for a gal that’s into gaming, I don’t know what to make of it. Leave gaming out of the photo and put it on the discussion list for the first date.
Now, let’s talk about what you’re wearing and your grooming. Pullover hoodie? Nope. Who is Paulson? Unless you are making a statement, or showing off something very important to you, you should change. How about a button-down or other kind of collared shirt? Make sure you’ve showered, done your hair, and shaved. Put on some nice shoes, because, as they say, the shoes make the man. Even if you don’t photograph them, your shoes help to define your posture and self-confidence. And sleep, for god’s sake. Get out in the sun and away from the computer. Your eyes are red. You look like you’ve been in a raid that took three hours too long.
You only have one shot at making a first impression. It may not be 100% you, but it has to be 100% memorable. Pretend you are going for a semi-casual job interview, and make yourself up to match.
Good luck!
Edit: I am really sorry if my post comes across as overly harsh. I really do want you to succeed. Dating sucks, and I wish you all the best. I just want you to differentiate yourself positively from all the doofuses out there. Women’s photos are held to pretty high standards in online dating, and the photo is considered a make-it-or-break-it moment for many men… and even though women don’t readily admit to it, I think the same goes for many women. We do glance at a photo and draw conclusions, even if they’re not correct or fair.
No worries, and thanks! I think you’ve taught me a valuable lesson in the amount a person might read into a picture. I understand that dressing up nice is important, but it’s just something that I hate doing. I’ve always been a t-shirt and jeans guy. I’m fashionably challenged. I’ll give it a shot though.
ZekeDMS
5720
That’s really a spectacular analysis Fire. I don’t think it comes across as mean but as what could be read into something, or overread, or misread, and that’s valauble to know.
