5721

I wouldn’t.

Dress nicely but dress in clothes you’re comfortable in. Don’t mislead with photos that present a false image. It’ll show.

That said, most of the advice proffered already is sound.

  • natural light is better than artificial light. Usually that means outdoors.
  • crop the photo so there’s no background clutter.
  • wear a shirt or jacket that has some color in it. It doesn’t have to be super-stylin’, just not something shapeless and black. Avoid logos.
  • if you wear a yellow shirt, you will have many Latino men check out your profile. Or maybe that was just me.
  • the facial hair is fine. Asking a guy to shave is like, I dunno, asking a cow not to moo. Sure, you can ask, but until that cow decides it doesn’t want to moo anymore it ain’t gonna happen. The attachment to facial hair is strange and powerful.
  • if possible, have someone else take the photo.

I think if you wear a nicer shirt/jacket and have better lighting, you’ll be fine.

5722

You’re a good looking guy. You just need to… I dunno, clean up a little. I gotta agree with shaving.

Nobody hates t-shirt and jeans. But try to get yourself something collared. Red+black is an “aggressive” color combination. It’s my favorite combo, but I don’t wear it often.

Hilarious, but also true.

5723

Yeah, I hear that.

This pic I was going to use for my secondary pic satisfies most of the criticism of the last one. I felt like it was too dressed up though for a main pic. also is it weird that I’m not looking at the same camera? could always crop out my buddies.

5724

That’s a good one. And as an upside, those two men are less attractive and make you look better.

5725

fire’s critique is spot on, and the kind of feedback I wish I’d had when I first started online dating.

Jeans and a t-shirt (or even a hoodie) are fine, in my opinion. However, be conscious as to your presentation, both in your picture and your profile. You want to make the best possible impression to the women you want to attract, and having a half-assed picture is not that.

5726

fire’s point about art on the walls is a good one. My wife said that one of the things that most appealed to her when she came over to my place for the first time was that I actually had paint on a few walls AND pictures hung. Apparently that’s fairly rare for bachelors. It shows that you have some concept of what a home looks like rather than a crash pad.

As for the jeans/t-shirt thing, I think that’s fine honestly. However, make it a plain t-shirt. It can be structured with bold stitching or whatever else but logos and such on it just makes you look like you’re in college.

DISCLAIMER : I wear t-shirts with logos on them to work all the time but I’m already married so what-ev!

5727

Yup - start to invest a little bit in upgrading the apartment from crash pad to home. Do it on the cheap with yard sales or church sales - the sofa and chair look like they need some help. Get a female friend to help you shop and decorate.

If you have room-mates who are not with the program, at least make the effort to upgrade your room.

When I was in a bachelor crash pad, my room: straight, clothes put up, with lamps, pictures on the walls, a bed, a desk.

My animal room-mate: filthy, inflatable mattress without sheets, piles of clothes indiscriminately clean or dirty, bare walls, one folding chair.

5728

I have used some elaborate setups to take good profile pictures of myself when nobody else was around to help. I’m talking tripods, extra lighting, timers, mirrors etc.

Definitely clean up the apartment and use better lighting (or take it outside, around dawn or dusk). Bring in more lamps if need be. Stand further back from the camera, get your whole body in the frame and then crop it as necessary. Even though you’re taking a totally contrived picture try to make it look candid, it always looks way nicer.

5729

Did you see the level of stalker-analysis they unleashed on Ned’s radio guy date? (if not, it’s a couple pages back in this thread, and it’s epic).

(Pic here, Epic begins here, with some more serious analysis following.)

5730

Ha, yes, that analysis was great. Not necessarily accurate, but great all the same.

5731

Hmmm, now I kind of want fire to review my profile pic. Anyway, I just wanted to pop in to say that one of the OKC studies on what pics are most attractive suggested that it’s actually better if you are turned slightly away, looking off-camera and neither smiling nor frowning (this is for guys). Which of course, I’m not doing in my own pic.

Anyway, here’s mine if anyone cares to take it apart:

5732

It is hard to tell your age, but at a certain point a man has to lose the t-shirts and go with a proper collared shirt.

Dressing down works when you are in your teens and early twenties, but when the hair starts to go and you age, you look less hip and more homeless.

You have a great face and smile. I would lose the beard, or grow it out thick and have it styled professionally. It COULD work. The easiest and quickest would be to shave.

And how hard would it be to go to a park and have your picture taken somewhere nice? Looks like you are in front of a prison or a project.

Cheers and good luck with the dating thing!

5733

Or if you’re going to go with a t-shirt in the profile photo, I would go with a solid color t-shirt. Solid black t-shirts that fit well manage to be both casual and somewhat adult (I hesitate to use the word classy)!

Anyway, for those looking to do an effective OKCupid profile, the OKTrends article about the effectiveness or profile pictures is probably useful!

My main takeaways:

  1. Use a nice camera and lots of AMBIENT light (direct flash adds 7 years, whereas pics look best at noonish)
  2. Try to be doing something or have an interesting background.
  3. don’t look like a tool, but it doesn’t hurt as much as you would think

It also says that looking away from the camera and being straight-faced is better, and that being shirtless (if you have abs) is actually better, but particularly the latter is just too douchey for me. Also apparently the “myspace angle” WORKS for girls? I see that shit and I deduct points in my head immediately.

5734

When are you gonna show it to him? :) And how’s that whole thing going, anyway? Have I missed a recent update?

5735

I’m going over for dinner at his place tonight. He’s a super nice guy and somewhat old-fashioned. Things are going well so far.

He has never used any radio equipment in my presence.

5736

I am on OkCupid, and for the life of me , being bald and a bit pudgy seems to be some kind of chick magnet to unattractive (to me) single moms on there. Not that I don’t like kids, I just want kids of my own.

I tried the bar scene and got myself a nice girlfriend who drank like a fish for the 9 months we were together, so I don’t want to go the bar route again any time soon.

I’ll grab my picture when I get a chance and post it here for suggestions, I know without a doubt it needs help.

5737

Wink wink.

5738

I haven’t read the other reviews of this because I don’t want it to interfere with my own interpretation of your photo, so if some of the points have already been made… well, sorry.

Arms crossed, black shirt with large pink and white design, pentagram, and a big goofy grin: ah, mixed messages. Couple this with the the blurriness of your photo, and it just screams “I pretend not to give a fuck.” But really you’re a teddy bear (courtesy goofy grin). You were probably a bit gothy, back in the day, but you won’t admit to listening to, say, Black Tape for a Blue Girl over the standard KMFDM (here, I’m guessing and going by T-shirt art alone). Your necklace is out, which means it’s more than an accessory, and you consciously wanted it in the picture as a symbol to your potential mate. Stop and think about this for a second. What’s the appropriate time to discuss politics? When do you mention how many kids you want? Do you want to be telling your first date that you’re Pagan, or were, or are cool with it, or generally don’t give a fuck? If you do, full steam ahead. I mean, I know that the pentagram goes hand-in-hand with the gothy stuff (been there, done that), but when you’re… erm, your age…, people aren’t as generally accepting of each other; they need more tedious explanation about mundane, commonplace things. This being one of them.

Moving on…

You’re wearing a wristwatch, which indicates one of three things: 1. You know how to accessorize, or 2. You don’t carry a cell phone, or 3. There is some emotional significance to the watch. I move that it’s option #3 because if you knew how to accessorize, you would have shown off the watch more in the photo and updated your glasses frames to be a bit more modern; it is unlikely that you don’t carry a cell phone because everybody does it (on the other hand, you don’t give a fuck, so maybe you don’t); hence, the watch probably has some meaning to you.

The photo is taken… what, at a college dorm, where you prey on young girls? This together with your choice of, ah, wardrobe suggests you don’t have a ton of money. You probably have a room mate; if you’re out of school you’re in computers, you have an IT graveyard shift job, but either way, you don’t see the sun much (and sport a fancy LCD tan). Judging by the size of your ears, you’re between 25 and 33 (ears never stop growing, and yours are pretty small), which is too old to be hanging on by a thread to the carefree college days. Update your image. Keep the black, but shine the boots. You know?

Anyway, what I would do:

  1. Get a new glasses prescription. Update the frames. Maybe go rimless. You will look older and wiser, in a good way. If you look like money, girls will think you have it.
  2. Consider what your accessories are saying about you.
  3. Think about posture. Crossed arms may mean “I’m a hard guy to get to know,” but women love a challenge. It really works for you.

Overall, I love this picture. I love the goofy grin, I love the posture, I love the beard. I don’t love the t-shirt and the setting, but these are the easiest things to fix.

Good luck!

5739

Bald pudgy guys indicate stability and wealth (because you’re older). If you’re bald and pudgy, you (a) likely will stick around, and (b) likely will compensate what you lack in the looks department by what you have in the wallet department. It’s hard to make yourself look younger without looking ridiculous. But it must be done! Hmm… what do single sans-kids-but-waiting-for-Mr-Right women like? Can you get a photo of yourself holding someone else’s baby?

Edited to add:
My husband just warned me not to make you guys cry. I am sorry if I offend anyone. Just trying to help. :(

5740

Oh god, I’m tempted to just throw up my lone E3 picture to see what results it gets. I suspect none good, but it’d be an amusing savaging.

I should probably bother to take a new one at some point, or be in a picture, anyway. I don’t know, I just loathe having my picture taken.