Oh fuck off, dude. As I said, I don’t practice this crap.
WarrenM
6062
Guapo
You’re killing me, man, just killing me. I think I’ve chewed through my bottom lip here. Please, stop.
Not until they drag you into the back and beat you with a sock full of nickles. Seriously - depending on the method, keeping count can be entertaining.
Of course, I am a notorious high functioning retard, so maybe that’s just me being weird again.
Using manipulative tricks to talk to people, however, is inherently dishonest and ought to be avoided, and I don’t believe in telling anybody with problems talking to their preferred sex to learn psychological manipulation tricks to give him a sense of power or control. That seems like a really, really bad idea to me. For chrissakes, learn a magic trick or something. This douchebag has an entire web series for that sort of thing (which I actually watch, and Brian seems like a nice guy, albeit a little…much for my taste).
The goal is to create a rapport with someone in an environment that isn’t at all conducive to creating said rapport. PUA techniques are designed to get and keep people’s interest, these work on people in general, not just members of your targeted sexual demographic.
The end goal isn’t to necessarily to bed someone, it’s to create a personal connection. Of course unscrupulous types will use those tactics for less than honourable ends but just because the techniques can be used with the goal being to love them and leave them, doesn’t mean it’s the only possible outcome.
If you meet someone in a more personal environment (blind/internet 1 on 1 date) those techniques aren’t often necessary, you have the person’s interest already you aren’t dealing with lots of distractions or competition.
But you think they have some good ideas. Said ideas being explicitly designed to manipulate women with low self esteem into having sex with you.
Zylon
6066
Now that I think about it, the whole PUA thing may have been a reaction this hell-spawned screed.
Well, I do have two kids…
Zylon
6068
Buh? I’ve never heard that meaning of the word. Makes about as much sense as saying that “married” always means “has kids”.
Yes, she was the pre-school teacher I dated in the 90’s.
I don’t appreciate being called creepy just because you lack reading comprehension skills. I said the game of the whole thing was something I thought was a useful idea, and never anywhere did I say that I approved of manipulating women with low self esteem to have sex with me.
I find most of the PUA stuff to be goofy at best and sleazy at worst, but it’s a method that has been shown to work and it is entirely possible to learn a thing or two from them without buying into the whole package. These guys have spent a lot of time examining what women are attracted to, and I think over time we will see more mature schools of thought emerge from that community.
Name anything I just said that was creepy.
Hunty
6073
Hasn’t this whole PUA boondoggle already been played out in excruciating length in the Penny Arcade thread about a year ago?
This is the problem. The only positive thing that Mystery teaches you is to be different and stand out from other people, but you could learn that from…well, for people my age, basically from nursery school onward. We’re told to celebrate our differences and be ourselves and all that crap ad nauseum, and that’s not what pick up artistry is about. Pick up artistry is about taking control of an interpersonal interaction with a member of the target sex and guiding the entire relationship in the direction that you want it to go, which is most often toward your genitals in the short term and toward a taxi shortly thereafter. The way that it gives a reclusive nerd confidence is by teaching him that by following a few simple steps, he can practice a crude form of mind control over the person he’s talking to, so he doesn’t need to worry about rejection. That’s a bad lesson to teach somebody who’s already not good at social interaction. It’s like giving a person with crippling fear of what the future might hold a deck of tarot cards.
Your expectation that more enlightened knowledge might derive from the various and sundry skeevy practices that constitute the general school of pick-up is unfortunately quite backwards. Psychologists already know about all this crap and have incorporated it into their understanding of human interaction. The sad fact of the matter is that there is no way to conveniently boil this stuff down to anything other than a crude method of control that you can exercise over certain other people, which is in no way noble, virtuous, or good. Real interpersonal mechanics are infinitely more complex than anything that you’ll learn from a guy in a cape with a bad haircut, and what they have to teach is entirely derivative of preexisting knowledge.
Cubit
6075
What THE FUCK is going on in this thread?
Re he HEEALLY.
This is the man you are trusting to help you create a personal connection. I’d rather he just tried to get me laid, if that was my goal. Because seriously.
ZekeDMS
6077
Desperation around age 23, signed up for the free X&Y email.
Took about four of them to realize that it was utter shit.
“Wait, so my goal is the pretend to be someone/something I’m completely not, manipulate people into liking me, and then…what? Be myself? Reveal the inner nerd later? What the fuck is the point of…oh, right. Yeah, fuck this.”
See above. If you meet someone by tricking them, which is basically what this is, what are the odds you’ll actually respect and like that person for who they are if you’re treating that way from the start, and what are they odds they’ll want anything to do with the real you?
Some people date assholes. I’ve gone on dates with those girls, and it becomes instantly clear that they have no interest in someone like me. Pretending to be one via cocky and funny, negs, etc., is just prolonging the inevitable. It gets you into bed, and nothing after.
Yes, the only way to apply any of this information is to be a lying asshole. Rather than dismissing all the information simply because it can be used by assholes to manipulated people how about learning about it and applying what you feel is acceptable based on your own personal values. Or are you so closed minded that you think none of the information can be applied while maintaining a clear conscience?
ZekeDMS
6079
Not most of it, no. The majority of the teachings come down to “Women are bitches, but it’s okay because you can make any woman have an uncontrollable desire for you with our techniques.” Aka, manipulation.
Sure, confidence is great (but there’s a big difference between having it and faking it), and lots of people could use some help with small talk. The rest, though, is bullshit, if not outright predatory. If I can pull a few choice quotes from a Meetup PUA group:
-Theres a way to make her feel “I must have him!” and NO… Being approval seeking and buying her flowers will never invoke that emotion.
Manipulation.
-Theres a way to overcome fear of rejection. You can’t win the raffle if you don’t buy a ticket!
Possibly okay, probably “It’s her fault because she’s a bitch” rather than “Hey, not everyone is going to like you, but it’s cool, there’s other girls.”
-Nothing she says matters. Understand what she is subcommunicating.
NO DOESN’T MEAN NO. ASK UNTIL SHE SAYS YES.
-Theres a way to keep someone interested in you forever.
She’s not a person, she’s a thing to be played with.
-“Head Games” are just tests to see if you’re worthy. Learn to pass these tests.
Women are manipulative bitches.
Zuwadza
6080
This thread isn’t as fun as it used to be.
