That Internet dating thing

Ed_Solomon · 2011-01-13T19:13:26.000Z

Mightynute:

Time to show her the magic murder bag.

“He’s great, he’s like Mr. Belvedere.”

Creole_Ned · 2011-01-13T20:34:00.000Z

Wow, it’s kind of weird to see so many success stories. Congrats to all!

I just got this from OKCupid:

OkCupid:

Hey [CleverProfileName],

We’ve got a quick site improvement to share.

You can now hide your OkCupid profile from straight users. This means straight people can’t find you in match results (even if they search for gay men), and they can’t load your profile page.

Why turn this privacy setting on?
* maybe you're not out to everyone yet
* maybe you don't want straight women hitting on you
* maybe you enjoy clicking checkboxes on web pages
All of these are good reasons to take advantage of this new feature.

If you’d like to activate it, just log in automatically and click-to-edit your orientation on your profile.

I think this is dumb.

Number of straight women hitting on me on OKC: 0
How much I enjoy clicking checkboxes on web pages: Not as much as OKC web designers, apparently.
And if you’re not out to everyone yet, putting up a profile on a public dating site seems like a less than brilliant idea.

Maybe this is a joke after ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was repealed.

Anders_Hallin · 2011-01-13T20:56:10.000Z

Hah, “straight women”. I’d say there’s a 99% likelihood that this is more about avoiding straight men looking for hookups.

ZekeDMS · 2011-01-13T21:08:38.000Z

Or accidental stumbling upon the profile.

I always figured the “mouth is a mouth” crowd stuck to craigslist.

AaronSofaer · 2011-01-13T22:08:26.000Z

Cosmic Hippo:

I implore you to please never use that grins emote again. I don’t think it projects the pathos you think it does… at least I hope not.

It’s supposed to project that I am grinning. What does it project to you?

ZekeDMS · 2011-01-13T23:58:01.000Z

Date rape.

Speak_With_Bread · 2011-01-13T23:59:49.000Z

As his girlfriend, I greet that with the response it deserves:

<groan>.

Tortilla · 2011-01-14T06:21:03.000Z

Morberis:

Indeedly, not going to get into any of that type of conversation about her here though.

Here’s a tip from an old married man: That financial issue is potentially a really big one is you are thinking of a long term relationship. Money, or more accurately clashing attitudes towards money and financial stability, can really undermine a relationship over time. If things are still going strong in a few months you might want to frankly and openly address the issue and communicate your expectations for how a long term SO would have to be meet certain levels of financial responsibility.

WarrenM · 2011-01-14T06:59:36.000Z

Yeah, if what I’ve heard is correct, money fights and money problems are the #1 cause of divorce and marriage problems. You HAVE to be on the same page if you’re thinking of going the distance with this girl.

ravenight · 2011-01-14T07:19:35.000Z

Just to add to the happy-fest, my girlfriend and I are about 2 1/2 months in and things are going great. Though I met her in a bar instead of online, we were both using online services to meet people prior to that. I let her use my iPhone to cancel her match account because we were out with some friends and she realized she was about to get billed again ;)

I haven’t attempted to compile numbers scientifically, but for some reason it seems like I get a lot more hits on my profile when I’m in a relationship already (before I updated my status to “seeing someone” on OKC, that is).

Cosmic_Hippo · 2011-01-14T08:03:54.000Z

AaronSofaer:

It’s supposed to project that I am grinning. What does it project to you?

It always comes off to me a smug. Not to say that that is your intention, but there it is.

Anders Hallin:

Hah, “straight women”. I’d say there’s a 99% likelihood that this is more about avoiding straight men looking for hookups.

Yeah, this was my read on it too. You’ve had this problem before as well, haven’t you Ned?

AaronSofaer · 2011-01-14T09:38:08.000Z

Cosmic Hippo:

It always comes off to me a smug. Not to say that that is your intention, but there it is.

Ah. Well, that’s unfortunate.

Morberis · 2011-01-14T09:44:55.000Z

Tortilla:

Here’s a tip from an old married man: That financial issue is potentially a really big one is you are thinking of a long term relationship. Money, or more accurately clashing attitudes towards money and financial stability, can really undermine a relationship over time. If things are still going strong in a few months you might want to frankly and openly address the issue and communicate your expectations for how a long term SO would have to be meet certain levels of financial responsibility.

Thanks for the advice guys, already considered that and my thoughts are exactly the same as yours. Also I’m hoping she never reads this thread =P

Cosmic Hippo:

It always comes off to me a smug. Not to say that that is your intention, but there it is.

Really? I don’t get that from smiles emotes.

Creole_Ned · 2011-01-14T10:02:46.000Z

Cosmic Hippo:

It always comes off to me a smug. Not to say that that is your intention, but there it is.

Stuff like grins is kind of cutesy but I don’t mind it. Probably better than peppering your messages with Korean-style emoticons. ^_^

Yeah, this was my read on it too. You’ve had this problem before as well, haven’t you Ned?

Yes, indeed. Good ol’ Mr. Curious!

JM1 · 2011-01-14T10:59:53.000Z

Creole Ned:

Stuff like grins is kind of cutesy but I don’t mind it. Probably better than peppering your messages with Korean-style emoticons. ^_^

Oh god. I hope Aaron and Brian Rubin never hook up.

DoomMunky · 2011-01-14T16:40:53.000Z

Sorry Aaron, I’m glad you’re happy, but it feels to me like you’re trying too hard.

barstein · 2011-01-15T20:59:41.000Z

Considering responding to an OKC wink for the first time. Any tips? She seems like a relatively easy-going, fun loving type. Whereas I’m pretty shy and introverted until I’ve gotten to know and trust someone more.

I’ve been resisting meeting new women for a very long time now and am still trying to build up the courage. She winked just today, so I figure I have a little time to wink or message her back, but I know if I wait too long I’ll never do it.

ZekeDMS · 2011-01-15T21:01:28.000Z

Just sack up and do it. If she’s showing interest that’s always a bonus.

barstein · 2011-01-15T21:15:33.000Z

Wink reciprocation and short reply initiated. Wasn’t sure what to say, so focused on brevity and commented on a couple of similar interests in her profile, avoiding the usual first contact pitfalls people tend to point out.

What a rush. Fighting urge to overanalyze and obsess. Because this is a pretty big milestone for me, I have to work hard to remind myself that at this stage, it’s really no big deal.

Mike_O_Malley · 2011-01-15T21:21:29.000Z

That’s a great Mordin impression, I hope she gets the joke.