To an extent. However, my credit is/was better than my wife’s, and we’ve bought three different houses now (and a car) using my credit score and they pretty much ignored hers. Now, granted, hers wasn’t awful or anything, so maybe that made it easier to overlook.
Found an AskMe post that sums up my perspective on and reservations about internet dating perfectly. This was critical information for me and I finally feel like I can form a strategy of some kind.
Turns out my new OKC friend’s daughter sits right behind my daughter in one of their classes. Second time this has happened to me on OKCupid. Very weird but oddly reassuring.
OKC friend has given me her work address and phone number, unasked. Still working on a first meet-up. If I can’t make her show tonight (she has her kids with her anyway) I may take her up on her backup offer and drop in on her at her at her work. Trouble is, I hate lunch dates, and she’s got her kids this weekend. I’m slightly concerned about delaying that first meet-up too long.
As if she sensed my super secret internet sleuthing she said: “…feel free to Google me. there’s plenty for cyber stalking. I’m in the media quite a bit. My last name is ___.”
Guess it’s safe to confess that I’ve already been there, done that! Time to pick up the phone, I think.
bluemax
6303
Well that part isn’t so hard, it’s more the how soon do I contact her or try to arrange something?
I wouldn’t wait more than a few days to propose the next meeting.
chase_j
6305
I would even pick the activity. The worse is the “What do you want to do? I don’t know, you decide. No, you decide” scenario.
WarrenM
6306
Agree with this! Suggest something concrete. It’s easier for her to agree to do something than to be asked to pick from a selection or, worse, think of something.
Reasonable human beings don’t play the “Oh, he contacted me too soon, I’m going to blow him off now” game.
You should (imo) always at least send her a text the next day even if just to say you had a good time.
And the first conversation you have after a date is a perfectly valid time to suggest a time/place for the next date.
Skipper
6308
“So I’m here at work, it’s Friday and I’m trying to concentrate, but all I can think about is when I’ll finally get to meet you. You seem great and I think we would have a great time together. What do you think?”
Roll from there …
bluemax
6309
Thanks, I sent her a text the day after although she didn’t respond. I guess I’ll call her tonight and see if she’s up to do something this weekend.
At what point do people normally get comfortable to invite people over to their places? We talked about watching some movies and what not but I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to move too fast or anything.
chase_j
6310
Are you asking if inviting someone over to your house is being too forward? Or if you invite her over and she accepts, is it a given you have to make a move? Don’t make a move and make yourself more interesting! However, if SHE makes a move, then you’re all set…
I’m a clear outlier on these issues, but I think that if you were already discussing the possibility of watching some movies, that’s a legitimate option to propose.
You could also take the tack of “out of these three suggestions, care to choose one”, which if I were doing the asking would be something like “Go to a cafe, let me cook you dinner, or go to the NODE and work on my LASER Harp”. But then again, I’m an outlier on these issues. :)
Who do you think you are, Jean-Michel Jarre?
bluemax
6313
Hmm well, I called her tonight to see if she was interested in doing something tomorrow night or this weekend and she said she was busy all weekend. Hope she’s not disinterested all of a sudden.
My OKC Rock Star just messaged me during her rock star act and said that she likes me. That made my day. First meeting (or date, I suppose) is this Sunday evening, assuming I can find somewhere for my kid to be. Anticipation is killing me. Edit: bluemax, I sincerely appreciate the questions you have been asking here. Even though I’m probably getting ahead of myself with the person I’m interested in since we haven’t even met in person yet, I have been wondering about the very same things.
Nothing nearly that awesome, I’m afraid. But it’s still an entertaining project. Partially modeled after a similar project by a friend of mine.
And it’s not actually at the Baltimore NODE, but that would be a better place for me to work on it, and if I had a girl who was an engineering type instead of (pokes Speak With Bread) a virtuoso musician, maybe I would be going on laserharp-crafting dates.
jeffd
6316
Here’s me chiming in with the latest prospects:
I’ve failed to meet up with the aformentioned family friend gal. We missed each other post Xmas owing to BLIZZARD. We were supposed to meet up a couple of weekends ago but her work interrupted. This past weekend she was in town and had offered to meet with me on Sunday, but I had plans then. I texted her Saturday to see what was up and she had a friend’s 30th bday to attend. That’s legit and I get it. She said we had to get together soon which is cool, but I think I’m done making the effort here. On the other hand I’ll see her in a month; we’re joining up for a joint like family ski vacation thing.
Now that I’m in college I have a couple of girls I’m interested in. The first is a Czech girl who’s in my history and economics classes. She’s cute, close to my age (I’m 31, she’s 28 which makes us both old by college standards). We’ve chatted a bit; I’ll see where this goes. The second is my English Comp instructor who is 30 years old and absolutely adorable; I don’t think this can realistically go anywhere 'til after the semester.
No, it really can’t. But after the semester…
jeffd
6318
Yeah pretty much. The hilarious thing is that she’s younger than me, too. I am the oldest person in my English Comp class!
Reasonable human beings don’t play the “Oh, he contacted me too soon, I’m going to blow him off now” game.
You should (imo) always at least send her a text the next day even if just to say you had a good time.
I’ve had several cases where the woman texted me the day after a date, so this does seem to be acceptable etiquette these days…
I think as long as you don’t hound the lady in question, quick communication is OK. Establish your interest and then leave the ball in their court.
bluemax
6320
This seems to be the consensus opinion at this point. She’s said she’s busy all weekend so everyone has told me to just wait it out and see if/when she decides to contact me again. It sucks because I find her really interesting and want to hang out more. I really just need to make more friends in my area overall.
