That Internet dating thing

Xerapis · 2011-01-31T01:05:09.000Z

Gordon Cameron:

Random data point: In live chat I usually don’t punctuate or capitalize much, and plenty of other people I know who are literate and can write well do the same thing. It’s not mutually exclusive with being literate. It’s more about habit or convention or for sociability’s sake matching the expected tone of the people on the other end of the communication. I think it’d be a mistake to get too judgmental about that sort of thing.

But surely you agree that it is not possible to be too judgmental about somebody liking Voyager, right?

GloriousMess · 2011-01-31T03:03:52.000Z

At least he didn’t mention Spoke or Zulu, as a (now somewhat distant) friend of mine once did. In fairness he’s not a sci-fi fan at all, but you’d think the basics wouldn’t be beyond anyone.

Also, Star Trek in an online dating thread? Unpossible!

hong · 2011-01-31T08:08:24.000Z

ZekeDMS:

I use urmom for aesthetic reasons.

If that was an insult, it would be wearing a beret.

jerri_blank · 2011-01-31T08:48:32.000Z

moss_icon:

i use no capitals for aesthetic reasons. don’t judge me!

What aesthetic purpose is served by not using capitals, other than to make people think you’re a tween girl? Are you ee cummings?

Martin_Guerre · 2011-01-31T09:59:01.000Z

No caps is for casual, intimate, unaffected conversation. I do not use caps in email/im with friends, and I’m not worried about my sentences parsing. It would be stuffy and impersonal to care about that or force that expectation into the conversation. If I get into a major fight with my girlfriend, we’ll switch to proper grammar in our emails. Once we make up, it’s back to no caps.

Brian_Seiler · 2011-01-31T10:12:10.000Z

Perhaps this is why nobody loves me. I am apparently physically incapable of ignoring what passes for grammar in my mind when I am writing a thing.

Martin_Guerre · 2011-01-31T10:13:39.000Z

You just need to make room for other people in your heart, Brian, and the way to not being a robot will become clear. Though I should note that I do do some code switching. If I’m talking to a friend who has your hang up about grammar, then I will clean up my act.

jerri_blank · 2011-01-31T10:15:43.000Z

I think if I were trying to make a good first impression (or at least let the person know something about me), I’d use proper grammar and punctuation, to the extent I know how. Then, once the person knows I actually AM literate, I might switch to something less formal/correct.

If you start out communicating without regard to grammar and punctuation, the person you’re messaging never really knows whether you’re capable of anything else.

And yeah, maybe it matters only to me and Brian S. Good thing I ended up with an English prof (who no longer capitalizes when she’s IMing me, and that’s okay).

mkozlows · 2011-01-31T11:43:27.000Z

I am appalled at this whole “caps are for fancy people” thing. I mean, I sometimes won’t backspace to fix a “teh” in an IM, but no caps as a policy is crazytimes.

barstein · 2011-01-31T13:19:37.000Z

Great developments over the past few days, feeling very happy and dazed today. Thanks again for the encouragement/advice, guys.

Dean · 2011-01-31T13:30:42.000Z

owned-poo-owned-laid-demotivational-poster-1259590110.jpg640×640

shift6 · 2011-01-31T15:09:55.000Z

About two weeks ago my mind decided to go nuts over a young lady I’ve known casually for a couple years in a social “circle of friends”. Of course, that’s also the problem as no one likes that kind of drama if it doesn’t turn out great. On the other hand, another girl in the circle could tell after about two seconds and was all “go for it, dude!”

This is strange.

AaronSofaer · 2011-01-31T15:19:25.000Z

Go for it, dude.

;)

jeffd · 2011-01-31T15:33:10.000Z

Today I found out the Czech girl has a boyfriend. But she also gave me her phone number. MIXED SIGNALS!

BrianRubin · 2011-01-31T15:38:01.000Z

shift6:

About two weeks ago my mind decided to go nuts over a young lady I’ve known casually for a couple years in a social “circle of friends”. Of course, that’s also the problem as no one likes that kind of drama if it doesn’t turn out great. On the other hand, another girl in the circle could tell after about two seconds and was all “go for it, dude!”

This is strange.

Go for it, dude!

jeffd:

Today I found out the Czech girl has a boyfriend. But she also gave me her phone number. MIXED SIGNALS!

Just be a friend for now. :)

Cosmic_Hippo · 2011-01-31T15:56:10.000Z

Brian Rubin:

Just be a friend for now. :)

NEIN! NEIN! This is the cardinal nerd sin. Under no circumstances should you bide your time and be a friend with later plans of hooking up; that is the path to madness. Either be a friend or don’t, and go for it or don’t.

BrianRubin · 2011-01-31T15:57:44.000Z

Cosmic Hippo:

NEIN! NEIN! This is the cardinal nerd sin. Under no circumstances should you bide your time and be a friend with later plans of hooking up; that is the path to madness. Either be a friend or don’t, and go for it or don’t.

Fine, don’t call at all, the only reason she gave you that number is vile and sinister. :P

Cosmic_Hippo · 2011-01-31T16:02:05.000Z

BrianRubin · 2011-01-31T16:05:08.000Z

BrianRubin · 2011-01-31T16:05:35.000Z

Or:

pessimism-murphys-law-restated-demotivational-poster-1255717014.jpg640×640