I think that’s about as likely as OkCupid beginning to include kink-related information.
Which would actually be kinda nice.
Gah. Picking up signals. Trying to read ‘signals’ was the worst thing that ever happened to my love life. In that it kept my love life non-existent. Everyone should make the signals themselves, by asking out the person they’re interested in, and either kissing them at the end of the night (or the middle, or the beginning) or telling them that you had an excellent night and you’d really like to see them again.
Make your OWN signals, bitches!
Seriously, trying to subtlely suss out whether a woman was interested in me just about killed me. Take the bull by the horns, tiger by the tail, whatever. Get busy living, dammit!
Totally with DoomMunky here. Just ask if you’re interested. Forget reading the other person and forget the signals. What’s important is you’re interested. Ask the other person if they’re interested, too. Ahh, simplicity.
My experience: I’ve traditionally shy about askin’ the ladies out, as I hate the risk of being labelled a creep.
Somewhere along the way, I realized asking someone out for drinks is a fairly innocent and ultimately flattering gesture. If they turn around and call me a creep for that, well I just dodged a bullet. I wouldn’t want to sit through a date with that kind of person.
P.S., I’ve started calling DoomMunky “Moves”. ITT we all call him Moves from now on.
The key to that approach is having a healthy enough ego that you can handle rejection. That was my problem for a long time, and it made me scared to be straightforward like that. You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) the amount of agonizing I did before I finally told my current partner I was interested in her as more than a friend.
That was 11 years ago, and we’re still together. Glad I made the right choice.
So yeah, I tend to be in the “go for it” camp, but I know how hard it is.
thatswhatshesaid
I’d totally believe it, since that sounds exactly like me in my teens/early twenties. We should get beers sometime. We could nervously chat over trivialities while avoiding eye contact and enduring long awkward silences. At least until the third beer kicks in, then we’d be holy terrors and probably get kicked out of the bar.
Introverts are always so funny when the mile-high wall of inhibitions finally topples!
Heh. Probably.
I don’t really consider myself an introvert at all - I do okay at parties with people I’ve never met, I enjoy public speaking, etc. But I’ve never been what one would call a, what do you call it, oh yeah, a Hot Babe. So that’s one area where I’ve lacked confidence. Before my current partner, other girlfriends I’d had made the first move. This one was the only one even shyer than me. Forced me out of my comfort zone. :)
We still joke about the way I peeled an entire label off a beer bottle while I nervously pondered whether to make my move.
VSys114
6408
What? What do you mean I cannot penetrate your anus with my penis? GET OUT!
Are you a little jumpy because of all those hawt dudes who totally want you?
Assuming this is referring to Xerapis’ post, do you really not see how it might be kind of a tough situation for a couple of gay guys who really hit it off and then discover a little too far into the relationship that both are tops?
Though if this was a response to jerri’s post, then congratulations, you beat the current champ on the Person Who Says Super Weird Thing To Jerri list.
I’m pretty sure it’s not a response to me, but yeah, that WOULD be weird. :)
VSys114
6412
Ha! You got me. It just seems like an funny situation. “You’re not a bottom either?!” dual forehead slaps I understand how it could be a problem though, considering the mechanics involved.
Luckily these days I’m far too grizzled to be considered cute anymore.
Erik_J
6413
Grizzled? Cheer up. They don’t call ‘em “bears” for nothin’, there’s still hope for you.
VSys114
6414
There’s no escape I suppose. dons leather bandoleers with matching chaps, leather hat and cop sunglasses Am I doing it right?
Erik_J
6415
Only if they’re ass-less.
VSys114
6416
Aren’t all chaps inherently assless?
OK now I’m starting to skeeve myself out a little.
Erik_J
6417
You’ve obviously put a lot of thought into this. Might as well embrace a whole new world opening up before you.
VSys114
6418
Maybe you’re right. I was married for 10 years, perhaps now it is time to explore that final frontier. Now, to just get over how gross men’s bodies are.
prolix
6419
The worst thing about this is that it probably spells the end for OkCupid’s awesome blog. The entry titled “Why you should never pay for online dating” has already been yanked from the site.
Let me qualify my earlier statement: I joined for the quizzes, when they came over from TheSpark, or whatever it was called. And they haven’t been half as good since.
