Yeah, it’s the radio guy, the same one whose photo kerzain and fire analyzed in great detail.
Editer
6482
Does Radio Guy know about the photo analysis? :)
DrCrypt
6483
Too early, barring extraordinary circumstances (like huge commutes). Put it on the back burner for another eight months or so. My feeling is basically that the “we should move in together” talk should happen only after it’s suddenly dawned on you that you’ve basically been living together for six months to a year anyway.
In the U.S. it can still be frowned upon, though not like it once was.
I think it’s more important to consider the actual time spent together than to look at total time since dating began. You can date someone for six months but if you only actually meet every two weeks, that won’t amount to much. Conversely, if you see each other every day, six months would probably seem too long.
We don’t have a schedule, anyway. If the time seems right, we’ll do it, not before.
And no, Denny, he doesn’t know about the photo analysis. He’d probably find it amusing, though. :)
I’m kinda in your boat, Ned. Girlfriend and I have been together six months and in that time we spend 4-5 days a week together. We’re already talking about moving in together this summer - around our 1 year anniversary - and it feels right. Whwtever happens, good luck. :-)
Well me and the girlfriend either had our first fight or we broke up. I want to move at a bit of a slower pace than she does and uh well that seems to be most of it. There are of course a few other things but that was the crux of our conversation.
Which just sucks… we work so well together. Though maybe the problem is that for me it feels like best friends amped up a few levels, and that’s what I want for now, and she wants somewhere below fiancée. It just feels like at 3 months I’m where I want to continue this along and enjoy it and see where it takes us, and she wants that next step. And I want to go there, but the other side of my head is going just let it grow without lifting yourself into the next level.
What, exactly, does “somewhere below fiancée” mean? What is she asking for?
Moving in? Only thing I can think of.
— Alan
XPav
6490
Leave a toothbrush at his place?
Morberis
6491
No we’ve done that. It means, well a variety of things that we did talk about.
Anyway I’m going to call her in the morning because I liked being with her and I would like that to continue, and hopefully she’ll feel a little bit better then.
mkozlows
6492
It seems bizarre and otherworldly to me, but yeah, it’s actually not that uncommon.
Yes, it’s always a big step when a couple enters asynchronous transfer mode.
Wait, what?
DrCrypt
6495
No, I think you’re just fooling yourself because you’re deeply in love and want to commit to your partner even more as a way of showing it. That’s understandable, but justifying the math with loosey-goosey time spent algorithms doesn’t change the fact that getting to know someone isn’t just about hours clocked, it’s about time passing.
There are various reasons why time passing is important, but basically, just because you’ve spent a lot of time together during a great four months doesn’t mean you’re ready to be with each other when you or your partner is having a terrible month. I’ve known pie-eyed relationships where everything was euphoric for a year blow apart during just one week of stress.
In my view, no one prudent should be talking about moving in with a partner before their relationship has had some real bad spots to work through. You move in with someone because you love each other and have proven even at the worst times that you need each other, not simply because everything’s going awesome.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m pleased for your romance. I’m just advising you to be prudent: just because your heart says rush doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to. You need to protect yourself, and deepening commitment isn’t always the wisest thing to do, and it’s not always the right time to do so.
DrCrypt
6496
You really need to be more specific, because it sounds like you’re exclusive to one another, so if you’re not talking about moving in together, I don’t know what “below fiancee” means?
Edit: Just read your message to my girlfriend, who is appalled. A direct quote: “Below fiancee? 3 months? What — does she want to be “engaged to be engaged?” That’s just baby talk. Does she want him to give her his PIN or his LETTERMAN’S JACKET? WTF?”
Suffice to say, someone willing to break up with you after three months for “not taking things to the next level” is not treating the relationship like an adult.
Sorry, Crypt, you’re misreading my situation, possibly due to how I’ve phrased things.
I’m warming up to the idea of moving in together. That’s vastly different than actually doing it. Moving in would result in a drastic change to my lifestyle and I’m not ready for that yet. He knows it, we’ve talked about it. We’re not rushing.
Scrax
6498
But you forget! This is in “gay time.” Take his dating time, then multiply by somewhere between 3 and 5 and you get a good estimate of what that means on straight terms.
bluemax
6499
My last GF and I moved in together after 8 months. We met while in college, I had 1 semester left and she was graduating. She had an campus research job for the summer and I had a job on campus. We had only been together about a month and a half at that point but we pretty much all our time spent alternating between the apartment where I lived and the place where she was renting a room. Same thing when school started up in the fall.
Then when I graduated we were both unemployed so we lived in our car for a few days, then staid with a friend of hers for a month, then we rented a room in a cock roach infested house in the ghetto after getting jobs until we saved up enough money for our own apartment. Then oddly enough we lived together for over a year after we “broke up”.
I’m not sure what kind of time table I would work under for moving in with someone again, the separation part was pretty emotional.
Double if lesbians.
I had a friend who moved in with her girlfriend ten days after they got together.
