We’re both in our mid-40s so we’re operating more on Paleolithic time.
The old “what do lesbians do on a second date? They rent a U-Haul” joke.
I’ve managed to avoid that - my partner and I were together for two years before we shacked up, but we did it in a big way, by buying a house together. It’ll be 10 years in October.
Some friends of mine stayed together in the same rented house for about a year because neither of them could bear to part with the guinea pigs they were keeping. I hated those damn things and I think everyone else did too, so we didn’t really understand the situation. The (admittedly well cleaned) cage stank of their excretions (PIG POO!) too and it diffused subtley through the house into every room. Ugh.
WarrenM
6505
My wife and I dated for 6 months, she moved in and we lived together for 6 months, then we got married. It seemed quick at the time but every step felt right … and we’re still together 7 years later, so hey!
Meghan and I met online and spent a year and a half as a long distance couple. I moved out to KC with a couple of friends of mine, and then we were a “regular” couple for about two and a half years. We got a place together and about sixteen months after that, I proposed. Eighteen months after THAT (we like to plan), we were married.
It was hardly a whirlwind courtship.
mmalloy and I met through some friends at a party in NYC. We traded contact information, but never actually got in touch with her. It’s possible one of us blew the other off. To this day we debate this and not always for the same side. Six months later she actually recognized me on a board we were both posting on and sent me a PM. We started talking regularly, then visited one another and became intimate. We’d visited one another probably three or four times each, with her coming out one Spring and meeting my parents and then me going out in July and meeting her whole family. By autumn of that year I decided I’d move from Omaha out to Boston to be with her. Except that meant moving out of my bachelor apartment and moving in with her when we’d barely had the chance to date, much less really experience life together.
We went from living together in an apartment shared with her mother to buying our own place. We were happy for a while. And then we were less than happy. And then we were tolerating one another. And in the end we decided we needed some time apart, so we broke up and I got an apartment.
We were apart for about a year. After the first month, I was regularly going over to her place to watch our favorite shows or she would come over and watch a movie on my totally sweet surround sound system which was the first thing that I, as a bachelor, purchased. Along with a rad recliner. Goddammit. Anyway, I ended up moving from that apartment back to the apartment we had shared originally with her mother, since her mother had moved to Ohio, and it was even closer to the condo we still co-owned. As such I saw her more and more frequently. And then at one point we realized that we really did want to be together, and it had taken time apart for us to discover it.
We dated for another six months and then I moved back in with her this past August. I proposed two months later. We’ve really never been this happy or healthy in our relationship, and while there are times that I think having a bigger home might lead to fewer snappy moments, we’re both ready to move forward and get started with our lives together.
(It comforted me when we broke up that her mother kept saying it wouldn’t last and that her youngest sister got mad at her.)
WarrenM
6508
I may have shared this before but … my wife broke up with me 4 times when we started dating. She had just gotten out of a marriage (they were apart for a year, which is required in NC, and her divorce papers still had wet ink on them). Her reasoning was always, “This can’t possibly be right. The first guy I go out with is the one? No, something is wrong with me or this situation or him or SOMETHING.”
Each break up lasted about a week before I could convince her to resume dating me. The last one was the hardest and lasted about 2 months. It really pissed me off and I took a solid break from her and tried to get her off my mind. Which failed. I eventually contacted her again and we started dating again. This time it stuck! Finally.
I’m pretty sure God didn’t intend reproduction to be this complicated. She’s probably sitting up there right now thinking, “Christ, why the hell did I let this species out of beta?”.
Look at what man devised to run the U.S., three systems that all constantly fight and supposedly keep each other in check.
Now if you were God, you would think you would have a few complications or twists in your broad plan. In other words, STFU, God knows reproduction just fine! Check out his religions that bar the use of condoms!
Our courtship was very short, too. My wife & I started spending every day together after the second date. After around 3.5 months of that, she suggested moving in together, and I proposed instead. We lived together about eight months while we got the wedding together, so it was about 13 months from first date to wedding. This year will be our 18th anniversary.
bluemax
6512
We had dogs together, which was a much more difficult situation.
I can imagine! That’s just unnatural!
Wobbo
6514
So I filled out eharmony’s psychological profile and… apparently my personality is a unique one. No matches in the entire New York area! I was willing to pay for the service too… very discouraging.
Will I get the same results if I try match.com?
ZekeDMS
6515
eHarmony has a general policy of discrimination. They used to just outright reject people, maybe now they accept you but don’t give you any matches. Pick the wrong height, wrong religion, wrong whatever, and you won’t see anything.
I can’t vouch for match.com (though OKcupid’s blog has some interested things to say about it), but if it’s anything like most paid dating sites…well, expect fake profiles, dead profiles, and your messages to be edited.
That happened to me when I tried eHarmony once. To be honest, unless you’re looking to get married right now, you’re better off without it.
Match doesn’t do a psych profile so you won’t run into that problem, though I’d advise OkCupid over Match (even though the latter just bought the former) because it’s free and because you should never pay for online dating.
Had interesting things to say about it.
Now Google’s Cache has interesting things to say about it.
ZekeDMS
6518
And my hopes that match.com wouldn’t fuck up the site are now dashed.
But page saved for motherfucking posterity, because it’s all true.
To be fair, you can’t fault a company for wanting to take down a blog post on their newly-acquired site that actively blasts them.
Match has said nothing will change with OkCupid and if they’re smart they’ll keep it that way. OkC targets a specifically younger crowd than Match and does exceptionally well in that area. They’d be shooting themselves in the foot if they killed OkCupid’s golden goose.
Younger, or more educated? I always think of Match.com as the meathead site and OKC as the hipster site.
