I guess I’ll start 2012 off with a positive online dating story. Early in 2011 I came out of a bad five year marriage that was the result of being young and Christian. ugh. By June though I was ready to meet some new people. I knew from reading this thread that OkCupid was one of the better sites, so I signed up and messaged a few high matches including one that really caught my eye, but she lived an hour away so I didn’t think much would come of it. I’ll call her “ladyparts”.
I went on a couple one off dates that didn’t go anywhere, but during this time had been exchanging countless messages and soon phone calls with ladyparts. We decided to meet near her place and had some pizza and then went to see Super 8. I think we were both a little apprehensive, but after spending time together it became clear that we connected really well.
A quick anecdote: When I first started seeing ladyparts, my divorce wasn’t quite final. I agonized over how to disclose this. On our second date, as I nervously tried to bring it up over our meal, ladyparts jokingly asked “you’re not married, are you?”. I was shocked and responded with “actually…” and then went on to explain the situation. My worrying was ultimately for nothing though, as she was very understanding and accepting of it all.
Today, Ladyparts and I have been bf/gf for nearly six months, and despite the distance we’ve managed to see each other every weekend since we met. She has helped me repair relationships with friends and family that I neglected during my unhappy married years, and has gotten me excited to revisit some old dreams and hobbies that I had abandoned.
No relationship is perfect and we have our rough days, but I feel as though I’m growing and developing as a person for the first time in a very long time. I hope I’m having a similar effect on her.
Later in the spring she is moving towards better job opportunities, and we won’t be living so far apart anymore.
Here is a picture of us taken right before the holidays:
I don’t know, she looks a little, “I’m here now, and he wants to take pictures of me with the webcam and what’s the deal with his mannequin wearing a sailor’s hat? But okay, I guess I’ll roll with it.”
Perhaps she doesn’t appreciate the importance of the closely-knit Qt3 family in Cubit’s life.
When she comes over to Tom’s living room for the first meeting, we should be supportive.
Yeah, I don’t see that nickname having a long life. I can see that coming out at the wrong time during romantic encounters and that totally killing the mood.
That is actually her mannequin, named Kevin, and he manages to perfectly photobomb nearly every fucking photo I try to take in that apartment.
Haha, in my defense that name is her own internet handle that she uses on a couple of different sites. It existed before I even knew her.
Like I mentioned briefly in the post, in my late teens/early 20s I was a fundamentalist Christian. This led to an early marriage based more on religion than an actual healthy loving relationship. After a couple of years I realized how batshit I had been, and began to feel trapped in a marriage where I was now an atheist and my wife was still a devout believer. At that point I kind of shut down for a couple years in a depressed state as I tried to make a relationship work that was based on something that just didn’t exist anymore.
Eventually we talked things out and separated followed by a divorce a few months later.
Thankfully, no kids were involved.
Once I escaped that religion and that relationship, it felt like a huge weight was off of me. I was free to explore who I was and what I wanted out of life without that shit hovering. I feel like I’m on a positive path now, one that ladyparts encourages me greatly on. For many years I was on a negative path and very unhappy, which honestly probably affected how I acted on Qt3.
In particular I like that you and your ex were able to talk things out, and that your new girl is encouraging you to grow.
I feel like exploring your posting history. Do you mind hinting when you got divorced and when you started dating this girl, to see if I can notice changes?
