This is a slightly ridiculous article on online dating that I believe readers of this thread will enjoy.
The positive aspects of online dating are clear: the Internet makes it easier for single people to meet other single people with whom they might be compatible, raising the bar for what they consider a good relationship. But what if online dating makes it too easy to meet someone new? What if it raises the bar for a good relationship too high? What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track?
No, it only further confirmed what a poor match we were despite agreeing explicitly that we were ready to jump in the sack with each other. It could have been exciting, but it would not have ended well. I’m not sure I’m down for casual sex with strangers anyway, at this point. And she was twenty-five, for Pete’s sake (I’m 39). What was I thinking?! She didn’t even have a driver’s license, yet. I was actually laughing with relief when I got home that night and called up a friend. No doubt that drink spill was thanks to a guardian angel.
I’m glad I quit while I was ahead by suspending the accounts before going on more dates, rather than doing so after confirming that it wasn’t time yet via experiences that could have negatively impacted others and myself more. I came away with an intact and boosted ego thanks to all the positive attention, and a much clearer perspective on what I really ought to be focusing on right now. I’ll revisit it in a couple of months or so.
I don’t know what you were thinking, but I know what I’m thinking now after reading about 25 year old women looking for casual sex with 40 year old guys…
A virtual stranger accidently dumps a drink in her lap. She is no doubt wet and now extremely uncomfortable and decides to leave. You don’t see that as a rational decision and that she was just being a bitch?
Personally, I was more responding to she ‘immediately departed, upset’. Now, I have had drinks spilled on me and I worked in a few bars, so I do appreciate that it is uncomfortable and not much fun having a drink spilled on you, however, it seems a bit extreme to me to get ‘upset’ about it.
If the story had gone along the lines of ‘I spilled a drink on her and, because she wasn’t enjoying sitting there soaked she decided she had to go home, but we’ve made a date for another time, because she realised it was a pure accident and we had really clicked until that point’, then I would think she was more of a keeper, that’s all.
First, I’m skeptical of the claim that, as one executive put it in the article, “the market is hugely more efficient” as a result of online dating. Plenty of the people who spend all day online are interacting with real people less than they used to. They waste huge amounts of time dealing with online daters who lie, mislead them, stand them up, or dump them on a moment’s notice.
It’s weird. It feels like it cheapens the experience. But what else is one to do when there aren’t any valid dating options in their established peer group?
It takes a while, but you get used to it. Everyone is playing the game and they all have more or less the same goal. Sometimes it pays off.
I know in California when the laws were changed several years ago taking drivers ed out of the schools many kids who really didn’t need cars and licenses simply quit getting them. You can jump through the hoops and get a license at 16 or you just take your time and try taking the test when you are older and decide you need the license and a car. My kids have several 20+ friends who don’t drive yet.
You didn’t but you sure made her sound unreasonable for leaving. Seeing as how they had apparently been talking about possible nookie she seemed like a pretty friendly girl up to the spilled drink.
despite agreeing explicitly that we were ready to jump in the sack with each other
Well, I think getting upset about an accident is a bit much. I don’t think I would allow a spilt drink to upset me to the point that I wouldn’t want to see someone again if I had felt that we were clicking to that extent. Therefore, without actually meeting her or seeing the incident in question, my first impression is that maybe there are other fish in the sea and I wouldn’t be too worried about letting her go…
Maybe her clothes are dry clean only and she just cleaned it and doesn’t have the cash for the cleaners again? Or, maybe, at this point we’ve spent a bit too much time analyzing a one-off situation.
I tried to work in a “took her to the cleaners” joke but just couldn’t make it go. :(
Maybe after the spill she was upset there was no “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes” and so she went home. Either that or his washer didn’t meet her requirements.
I tried the internet dating thing for about 6 years off and on and it never found me a solid match. I had plenty of dates but it seemed the ones that were into me I wasn’t into and vice versa. I have to say I did get many interesting stories out of it…my co-workers were bummed when I stopped doing it. lol.
About two years ago I took a good amount of time off from it and wouldn’t you know I started seeing someone right in front of me…a co-worker(despite hearing all my stories.lol)…she’s 20 years younger, I’m 48 and she’s 28. I wasn’t sure about seeing a co-worker but it’s worked out really well and frankly if we split up it will be because I screwed up…she’s that great. I guess the moral is don’t forget to open your eyes to people that are around you. In this age of people staring at their phones and screens and not looking up or around it’s easy to get in a online rut and not see whats around you.
I could date a 25-year-old, the slim chances of it lasting long notwithstanding. Being the father of a sixteen-year-old daughter is, frankly a bit of an issue for me. But there were other bigger personality differences that I haven’t gone into here that sort of related to the age gap.
And RE the drink spill thing, I got that and didn’t trip much when she left abruptly. She could have been more diplomatic, but she was embarrassed and under pressure, and I empathized. Plus, we’d been there a couple of hours and she had made it clear, a bit earlier, that she was a little hesitant to take me home on the first night because that would increase (in her mind) the likelihood of it becoming a one night stand. So the drink spillage may have been her easy out.
I have 23 and 19 year old daughters. I couldn’t imagine dating anyone that age, I couldn’t imagine holding a conversation with someone that age that wasn’t my daughter. Now I have a couple 25+ nieces and they actually seem to have lives and can be conversational. Although the age thing would still be weird.
