I try not to be too judgemental. My wife has never been fantastic at written communication. Despite the fact that she reads voraciously, which you would think would translate to an ability to write fairly well, she never seems able to take that final step that allows one to take all the thoughts they’ve put down and organize and edit them so that they flow nicely when read. There are a lot of people who are that way, and it’s no knock against them. Writing is a skill, just like speaking in public, and not everyone is going to be really good at it no matter their level of education.
On the other hand, it’s one thing when someone is obviously trying to communicate their thoughts and perhaps just having a hard time phrasing things the way they would like to, and quite another when every other word is an acronym or slang term and the sentence structure, punctuation and grammer are non-existant. Sadly I see this all too often in the business world today. For all the kids graduating with $50,000+ in student loans, many of them seem to have spent none of that money on learning to communicate effectively, both on “paper” (writing) or in person.
Perhaps I am just too old. Please remove yourselves from my lawn forthwith!
I’ve been told to my face, that I’m “fat, bald and ugly”, from the friend of the girl that I was talking to for over an hour to, during a bathroom break for the one that I was speaking to…
It was just so out of left field, that I had no clue how to react. Even knowing that she was a crotchety Bitch, after observing her texts to her “boyfriend” that night…
I’m not marxeil, but I’ll go ahead and confirm that you are indeed correct.
Quick update on the first meeting with OkCupid woman. Everything seemed to go very well. The original plan was to keep the meeting to 30 minutes to an hour tops, but we ended up talking for close to 3 hours. I told her that I’d call her soon and she gave me a big smile and a hug so I’ll take what I can get and not think too hard about it! Current “plan”, if you can call it that, is to call her sometime tomorrow and tell her I had a great time and see if she’s interested in an honest to god date.
On a completely off topic note, I bought a TrackIR and have been playing around with it for the first time tonight and it’s almost as awesome as the date. Arma II and Euro Truck Simulator 2 work like a dream. This has me almost as happy as the positive first meeting/date. Overall a pretty good Friday if I do say so myself!
Is this thread appropriate for non-internet dating? I retired my OKC account many months ago and haven’t looked back, but I suppose I may resurrect it again one day. I’m just not in the same head-space I was in when I first started internet dating.
I went to a bar a few weeks ago, and for the first time I went with zero expectations. I didn’t even bother to shower that day, and wore two-day old clothes. I just wanted to get out and be in the world. And yet, I felt alive and kind of on fire and confidant in a way I had not been in a long while.
As it turned out, the venue I’d sought out included the same band that an ex and I had seen once last summer/fall, whom we’d both liked, and she was there as well. I hadn’t seen this woman since a horrible encounter last winter, and yet I didn’t’ feel in any way weakened by the fact that she was there with a new boyfriend and I was there alone.
We traded brief looks but didn’t even get to the point of locking eyes, even for a moment, and just as I was mustering up the motivation to walk over and do the diplomatic thing by saying “Hi” to them on my way back into the bar (she and her boyfriend were camped out near the patio door of the bar, so walking by them was inevitable), a young woman appeared out of nowhere and bummed a cigarette off me and sat down at my table. In plain view of the ex. She was half my age plus five years (39/25) and we ended up spending five hours there together, had a great time, and traded phone numbers, and meanwhile the ex left the bar early without actually seeing the band she’d probably come there for.
Fast forward to a few weeks later, after five dates and lots of…good times…together. 25 is the youngest I’ve ever seriously dated and sometimes it’s a little weird, but it works. We’ve been dating for a couple of weeks now and I don’t know how serious it is, but she seems to be really into me on some level. Being an older dude with a younger woman is really strange and it’s a new experience for me. Regardless of where things will go in the long term, this is perfect for what I need right now. No major baggage, no kids, nothing tying her down or holding her back in life, and my heart and soul can continue to heal from previous traumas. We’re not even strictly monogamous (just emotionally), which normally isn’t something I would be into, but right now that works just fine for my current needs.
No worries! I included the TrackIR part into my post partly for comedic effect and partly because I was drinking while setting it up. A few beers plus posting to Qt3 are not an entirely uncommon combination for my weekend internet habits.
@barstein: The non-internet dating stories don’t bug me at all. Sounds like you’re having fun! I believe keeping the focus on helping yourself in this case is the smart move. Just keep on keepin’ on!
That reminds me, how much of a subtext is there to being asked for a light? I’m not a smoker, so there’s no particular reason to think I might have one. If it’s an ice-breaker it’s not so great, because I don’t know where to go from “Err, sorry no.”
Are any of you non-smokers carrying lighters for just that sort of occasion?
My only answer to that is, as a non-smoker, being asked for a light by a woman puts an instant “NOPE” stamp on her forehead as I will not ever date or be at all involved with a smoker ever again. So in those cases “Err, sorry, no.” carries multiple connotations and serves just fine as a response.
They will only rarely ask you for a light if you aren’t obviously a smoker yourself, so it’s kind of a moot question. Ftr I was a non for over a decade but got pulled into the dark side by an ex, will quit again some day. Harm reduction approach, etc.
Second date with the same woman from OkCupid as previous post is tomorrow evening. Scheduling has been a bit dicey since we both have busy schedules that are somewhat opposed. If she didn’t enjoy the first date she could have very easily, and quite possibly truthfully, made an excuse about being busy and left it at that. The fact that she didn’t is encouraging. I have made a conscious effort not to analyze either party’s actions beyond that.
