That Internet dating thing

tiohn · 2009-10-06T07:21:14.000Z

You guys are aware that playing grab-ass in real life is more fun than playing it on the internet, right?

Mookeepooh · 2009-10-06T07:24:31.000Z

tiohn:

You guys are aware that playing grab-ass in real life is more fun than playing it on the internet, right?

Yes, but making you all suffer through it on here is also fun. Enjoy :)

Griddle · 2009-10-06T07:26:32.000Z

Mookeepooh:

Yes, but making you all suffer through it on here is also fun. Enjoy :)

TAG!!!

ChrisPal · 2009-10-06T08:33:15.000Z

I don’t know what to make of these developments. I’m torn between amusement at seeing two new lovers interact on a very snarky forum and the resulting fun that is sure to ensue, and discomfort at the same.

This thread needs more horror stories. Or pics of Griddle and PRG (punk-rock-girl) in flagrante delicto with turkey legs and other assorted toys. Either way will please the crowds I’m sure.

WarrenM · 2009-10-06T08:45:18.000Z

…methinks inviting my Girlfriend to this board will turn out one two ways, amusement, or pain.

Don’t forget the continual state of embarrassment as details of your relationship spread to thread after thread.

Mookeepooh · 2009-10-06T08:46:23.000Z

WarrenM:

Don’t forget the continual state of embarrassment as details of your relationship spread to thread after thread.

Damn…

Leah_C · 2009-10-06T08:54:51.000Z

^^This is why the bf and I waited a year or so to come out. Ha.

I can’t remember which horror stories I’ve told. Once, I gave blood immediately before a date and then the guy insisted on walking down the entire length of Haight St. My lips turned grey about halfway through, that was fun. He also spent the entire time talking about his ex-fiance. Turned out that it was some kind of anniversary. It was either the day they were supposed to be married or a year from when she dumped him or something. Oh and he compared himself to Holden Caufield a lot and talked about how deep he was and how his dad would never understand him. Rock.

Then there was the guy that flew all the way out from SF to meet me (I lived in South Carolina at the time). We had a “thing” for awhile. Not sure what to call it. He eventually broke up with me, called our relationship a sophomoric slump, and confessed that he’d been living with his girlfriend the entire time and that his “vacations” and “family reunions” had actually been spent flying around the country sleeping with underage girls he’d met on the internet. That was awesome. Even more awesome: seeing him years later and noticing that he’d lost half his hair and had the worst comb-over ever at the tender age of 28.

I know somewhere, I’ve mentioned the guy that took me to Hooter’s and then asked whether or not I was wearing a thong. And then he insisted we walk through a department store to get to the car (the Hooter’s was in a mall). He lead us through the store straight to the display of bathroom scales and asked if I’d weigh myself. No.

…and then there’s Mr. Whitta. We met on teh internets and just celebrated our 4 year anniversary at the end of last month, awwwbarfwwwww.

ElGuapo · 2009-10-06T09:03:12.000Z

There is no way in hell I’d ever let a girlfriend onto this board. Some past threads may be a little . . . unnerving.

Brian_Seiler · 2009-10-06T09:04:15.000Z

Leah C:

Oh and he compared himself to Holden Caufield a lot and talked about how deep he was and how his dad would never understand him.

What a phony?

Leah C:

He lead us through the store straight to the display of bathroom scales and asked if I’d weigh myself.

You almost have to respect the guy, though, for having a precise no fat chicks policy.

Seriously - what in the holy hell is that going to tell him? Maybe this is just me being a pod again, but it seems to me like he would have already learned everything he needed to know about your weight during the meal. Or at least during the subsequent walk. Did he think you were corset-forcing your belly rolls up into your bust or something in an effort to defraud him?

Griddle · 2009-10-06T09:20:28.000Z

Take this however you wish, I’m just thrilled to have a girlfriend that can keep me on my toes on these here forums. Not many females I’ve dated can keep up the level of sarcasm and snark that she can, you go girl!!!

shift6 · 2009-10-06T09:24:41.000Z

Leah is an attractive, intelligent, and well-adjusted woman. The guy clearly needed something to use as an excuse for the “yeah, I just don’t think we’re a good match” e-mail.

Shadarr · 2009-10-06T10:39:16.000Z

Brian Seiler:

Did he think you were corset-forcing your belly rolls up into your bust or something in an effort to defraud him?

Maybe he has a no dense chicks policy.

Brian_Seiler · 2009-10-06T10:41:29.000Z

shadarr:

Maybe he has a no dense chicks policy.

In the event of a water landing, all of my girlfriends must be usable as flotation devices?

Shadarr · 2009-10-06T10:44:58.000Z

Doubtful. I’ve tried that, they don’t like it.

Creole_Ned · 2009-10-06T12:19:22.000Z

shadarr:

Not my own tale of misery and fail, but still too awesome not to share. OKCupid members, go read the actual journal post.

A woman met a guy through the site. He had a bunch of pictures of him doing stuff like canoing, laughing with friends in a restaurant, playing basketball. She dates him, and they never do anything, he has no friends and he won’t even go out to dinner, let alone go camping for the weekend.

So she confronts him, and he confesses. All of the photos were staged, taken by him with a tripod. He went to a restaurant and ordered a bunch of food so it would look like he was with a large group. He rented a canoe just so he could take a picture of himself in it. He can barely even dribble a basketball and had to take a ton of pictures to get one where he doesn’t look spastic.

This beats telling girls you’re a doctor by a wide margin.

The mind boggles.

As someone who has been called an “unphotogenic bastard” by a friend, I can understand having to take many pictures to finally get a decent one but creating an entire fictitious life to go with said photos is sad, freakish and probably good material for a movie. Get Spike Jonez on this.

Rimbo · 2009-10-06T13:58:33.000Z

Griddle:

…methinks inviting my Girlfriend to this board will turn out one two ways, amusement, or pain.

It’s definitely working out to be the former for me so far.

Demon_G_Sides · 2009-10-06T14:00:49.000Z

Less cutesy shit. Start fighting already. GAWD.

Jakub · 2009-10-06T14:08:47.000Z

ElGuapo:

There is no way in hell I’d ever let a girlfriend onto this board. Some past threads may be a little . . . unnerving.

Understatement.

Still, you’ve gotta give Leah credit, she’s a remarkable woman. Gary introduced us to choggle pants/tub parties and she stands by him. He definitely found a keeper, grats to him :)

Mookeepooh · 2009-10-06T14:29:05.000Z

At the beginning of the year, I went on a date with someone from Match (my first mistake). We met at a bar/restaurant and he was EASILY 75-100lbs heavier than his picture, had horrible teeth with breath to match and greated me with “Ohh, you would make a nice pet!!”. When I tried to leave, he followed me outside so I had the bartender, who was a friend, walk me out to my car and I took off. The thought of him still makes my skin crawl. I imagine he would be wearing my skin as a coat at some point.

tiohn · 2009-10-06T14:43:44.000Z

Whatever happened to Victoria Wong? I can’t help but think that we ended up keeping the wrong half of that couple.