That Internet dating thing

Scrax · 2009-11-08T20:22:28.000Z

Oh lord, Rimbo is giving relationship advice again. Dude, mail order wives don’t even count in this thread. I mean, I guess it has to do with the internet, but the fun of dating is the challenges you go through in order to eventually have sex. Mail order brides have to have sex in order to get their visa.

Rimbo · 2009-11-08T20:37:18.000Z

Scrax:

Oh lord, Rimbo is giving relationship advice again. Dude, mail order wives don’t even count in this thread. I mean, I guess it has to do with the internet, but the fun of dating is the challenges you go through in order to eventually have sex. Mail order brides have to have sex in order to get their visa.

Look, if you don’t like my advice, I have one thing to point out: You are the one still looking for a life-partner. That said, I don’t think my advice applies in your case; men don’t work the same as women.

Shadarr · 2009-11-08T20:38:49.000Z

Rimbo:

Geez, listen to some of you. “But she’s not a Republican.” It’s as if, rather than use a relationship as an opportunity to grow and expand beyond yourself, you just want someone you can engage in intellectual circle-jerks with. Lame: “I think Representative Bedfellow is such a tool!” “Oh, God, me too!” Lame, lame, lame. Restricting yourself based on politics and religion is lame.

I wasn’t even trying to troll the thread, I was just riffing on ElGuapo’s cradle-robbing escapades with the tramp-stamped hottie. But I’ll take credit for the flamewar anyway.

Rimbo · 2009-11-08T21:26:19.000Z

Shadarr:

I wasn’t even trying to troll the thread, I was just riffing on ElGuapo’s cradle-robbing escapades with the tramp-stamped hottie. But I’ll take credit for the flamewar anyway.

Actually, it’s really just this: I need to get laid really badly. Which is why, right now, she’s my “wife.”

Goddamned flu virus. :(

WarrenM · 2009-11-09T04:08:19.000Z

Yeah… you actually have sex with a girlfriend.

If you want to be taken seriously in relationship threads, and you post with an air of authority so I assume that you do, you really need to think things through before posting. Stuff like this just undermines whatever it is that you’re trying to do.

You’re not married, you have a kid, and you have a 1950’s view of dating (men and women are totally different, women like being treated badly, revenge sex is awesome, it’s ok to exploit someone’s emotional state for sex, etc).

On the other hand, it’s another relationship thread shirt successfully shitted by Rimbo so, hey …

Zylon · 2009-11-09T05:34:21.000Z

Rimbo:

I’m a free-market capitalist Christian and she’s a communist atheist. Our son thinks he’s Jewish. THIS is a proper family life. Hell, we barely speak each other’s language properly. (And I’m only learning hers.) This is called “growing.” And by growing I mean, “Not dying.” Because the moment you choose to surround yourself only with people who agree with you is the moment you become a fucking undead zombie.

So you think everybody should live their life as if it’s the premise for a sitcom. Gotcha.

Brian_Seiler · 2009-11-09T05:53:35.000Z

Zylon:

So you think everybody should live their life as if it’s the premise for a sitcom. Gotcha.

Wait, mine isn’t?

Is it too early in the day to start drinking?

Mookeepooh · 2009-11-09T07:15:03.000Z

Griddle:

Trust me, if I had the option, I’d delete all my posts, in retrospect is was a bunch of gratuitous drek.

Pussy

Demon_G_Sides · 2009-11-09T07:32:37.000Z

kerzain:

Guys can be republicans and they’ll still be guys. But republican females don’t insert lude sexual act here.

You’re an idiot.

Mark_Asher · 2009-11-09T07:41:34.000Z

Rimbo, there’s a lot to be said for sharing common interests. I wouldn’t rule out anyone solely on political differences, but it can be an issue in a relationship.

Griddle · 2009-11-09T07:56:33.000Z

For those of the simple life, I have foundest thou a resource to find your ideal Gentleman or Woman to stay on the path of life with you.

http://amish-online-dating.com/

Mookeepooh · 2009-11-09T07:59:16.000Z

Griddle:

For those of the simple life, I have foundest thou a resource to find your ideal Gentleman or Woman to stay on the path of life with you.

http://amish-online-dating.com/

That has got to be a joke

Shmtur · 2009-11-09T08:26:18.000Z

Mookeepooh:

Pussy

Sometimes it’s better not to talk.

WarrenM · 2009-11-09T08:41:50.000Z

Griddle/Mook

Have you guys heard of email? It works great for conversations that either (a) are personal or (b) would bore everyone else. Also works well for back and forth banter that does nothing but disappoint anyone clicking on this thread hoping for new Rimbo meltdowns.

Tortilla · 2009-11-09T08:46:29.000Z

Speak for yourself, I find their banter amusing. I do admit to being easily amused by juvenile and crude humor though.

Mookeepooh · 2009-11-09T08:54:27.000Z

WarrenM:

Griddle/Mook

Have you guys heard of email? It works great for conversations that either (a) are personal or (b) would bore everyone else. Also works well for back and forth banter that does nothing but disappoint anyone clicking on this thread hoping for new Rimbo meltdowns.

I often read these threads that are often derailed by conversations between people that are of no interest to me. Instead of complaining about it, I choose to ignore them. We were playing off a comment another individual made, yet you find the need to single us out. My apologies, I thought this was an open forum for all to enjoy. My bad.

WarrenM · 2009-11-09T08:55:20.000Z

I thought it was too. Sorry for expressing my opinion! Carry on with whatever it was that YOU wanted to do, never mind ME.

Mookeepooh · 2009-11-09T08:56:03.000Z

WarrenM:

I thought it was too. Sorry for expressing my opinion! Carry on with whatever it was that YOU wanted to do, never mind ME.

FINALLY, you’re making sense. Thank you.

Mark_Asher · 2009-11-09T08:58:17.000Z

Help us, Creole Ned, you’re our only hope!

Seriously, please date another crazy person and report back to us. We need to get this thread back on track!

Rimbo · 2009-11-09T10:40:02.000Z

WarrenM:

If you want to be taken seriously in relationship threads, and you post with an air of authority so I assume that you do, you really need to think things through before posting. Stuff like this just undermines whatever it is that you’re trying to do.

I think that being able to determine whether or not my aims have been undermined requires first understanding what those aims are. :)

You’re not married, you have a kid, and you have a 1950’s view of dating (men and women are totally different, women like being treated badly, revenge sex is awesome, it’s ok to exploit someone’s emotional state for sex, etc).

OK, along the same lines as the above, I have to assume a certain amount of intelligence on the part of the readers here. I shouldn’t have to up huge sign-posts that say:

—=== RIMBO IS ABOUT TO BE FACETIOUS ===—
Ahh, that’s the great thing about middle school girls; I keep getting older, and they stay the same age.
—=== END FACETIOUS BLOCK ===—

See, at some level, I expect that you should be able to figure it out on your own without me doing that.

I’m REALLY surprised that no one got the joke I made above. See… I referred to her as my “wife,” and then I said, that the difference between a wife and a girlfriend is that you have sex with a girlfriend.

Do I have to draw a picture for you? I mean, if I were to follow that comment with,

“See, get it? It’s because I’m NOT HAVING ANY SEX RIGHT NOW!!!”

Then, well, it’s not NEARLY as humorous. But, again, this requires a minor amount of intelligence on the part of the reader, which I generally assume over here because this is QT3 and not the comments section of a YouTube video.

I guess I could use this new-found information to lower the expectations I have of my audience, but I stubbornly refuse to. Quite honestly, if you can’t figure the above out on your own, then you’re not really my audience, and I’m just fine with making fun of you behind your back. Or in front of your face, since it seems to all be going over your head anyway. :)