Go Vanheim GO! My ally!

Ahem, that might not be helping him.

Oh come now! At least I had ONE ally.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that.

Frankly I think you have it wrong. I think the potential winner now is Caelum. Once he finishes me which will likely be soon he’ll have 2 caps and can then just air drop for a third. He’s done a fine job of delaying me by diplo which has left me in a terrible mess of trouble. I’d say watch out.

Van made a big mistake showing his hand. But Caelum has carefully stayed back and let you and BL take the pounding from me while preserving his forces and NOW he will get my cap. Neat play on his part.

You should have finished me frankly.

Be cool Honey Bunny.

This is exactly what doesn’t need to be happening.

Unfortunately, I am the worst ever at diplo because I don’t do a good job of sandbagging my position. This is worsened by my playstyle, but I’ll try…

Let’s examine what happened here:

Shin sends me a PM about three turns ago after I have consolidated some guys in the fort I took from Pan wanting me to clarify that they aren’t about to move after Shin. I confirm that they are not and that they are about to move out, which they do on the next turn.

The following turn, Shin attacks one of our border provinces that I have lightly defended because Pan can’t reach it at that moment and I wasn’t worried about Shin because… you know… I just got that PM from them making sure we’re not looking to attack them. As I said… I’m bad at diplo and so failed to interpret this as “I want to make sure your guys are gone so when I attack it’s cool for me”.

As I am completely unprepared for this attack, the next turn I can’t do much except pull forces away from an already rallying Pan and get into a position to deal with Shin. Meanwhile Shin is consolidating a huge stack of doom.

So last turn I am ready and launch a lot of raids into Shin’s territories.

The net result of that was that I gained some ground on Shin (while losing lots to Pan who, despite the sandbagging here is doing just fine).

Outside of the provinces themselves, Shin’s total losses were 1PD in each province and 1 Scout. There was nothing especially troublesome with my raids… hell, if anything it was overkill given the 1 PD everywhere…

Meanwhile Shin has finished assembling his stack of doom which I have no answer for while he is running away with research.

But suddenly I’m supposed to be the bad guy here? I can’t compete with stack of doom tactics… smashing our armies together is suicide for me… doubly so given his research… Raiding is all I really can do…

And again… I didn’t want this fight

My reaction was really the only option I had other than letting Shin just roll me.

And it’s not like these provinces are defensible. Meanwhile Pan is retaking their provinces and have an enormous army too…

So…

Pan has an enormous army and is rallying…

Shin has a stack of doom I can’t handle, an enormous research lead…

Vanheim has a handful of indefensible provinces…

Why would I be a target?

Caelum has an enormous army with crazy mobility about to take a cap. Once that is done, one more cap and they win and there are some very vulnerable caps they can land on in 1-2 turns.

This is what I was saying about the graphs being misleading. There is no way that I am about to win this thing. I have a bunch of provinces that I can’t hold from raiding and that’s about it.

Honestly, I’m sort of hoping that I can negotiate peace with Shin, but I knew I couldn’t do that when he had taken one of my provinces and was assembling a stack of doom, so I counter-attacked to show that maybe war with me isn’t the super-easy pickin’s that might have been the impression.

Along those lines, I’m sending Nate a PM to see if something can be worked out, because just as I didn’t want this war to begin with, I still don’t really want it… we can see what Nate thinks, but don’t misunderstand that this whole mess was none of my doing.

Now I’m happy to address any questions… :)

p.s. Fuck me and my wall of text… sorry :(

This is prob another reason I fail at diplo…

GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY, AUSTEN!

<-Bully

See! He’s a bully!

You can’t call me a bully when you’re ten times the size of me and assaulting every province I own.

http://www.llamaserver.net/showScores.cgi?game=Crooked_Trunk

Seriously, people, go look at that and tell me we don’t need to gang up to prevent him from winning.

Seriously people, tell me that this isn’t how typical garden-variety raiding looks on graphs?

Ridiculously successful raiding, sure. But you’ve got a province, income, and gem lead right now. That’s a winning hand. Oh, and you’ve sent Pangaea and myself to hide behind our walls.

I was supposed to raid unsuccessfully?

Those leads are all obviously phantoms. You will retake your provinces while keeping your stack of doom on the offensive on your war here… I guess I should’ve immediately come here and started imploring everyone for help when you initially attacked me?

Oh… and I guess it’s obvious that Nate and I won’t be striking a peace…

His terms were that I give him back all the provinces that I took from him and give him some of Pan’s old provinces… just… because… .I guess…

So when I said I was interested in peace earlier I was sincere, but I seriously doubt anyone would think this offer is reasonable… so… good news Caelum! :)

That was hardly an attack. I was doing it to start off negotiations with a bang. I mean, it was a merc group that I stopped paying for that turn attacking a wasteland province with no gem income.

I was saying “I’m about to attack you, but if you’re too busy with Pangaea, all you need to do is give up a couple provinces and I’ll leave you alone.”

I was trying to get what I needed while accommodating your needs. And it’s not like I’m asking for something you can’t afford to give up.

Crooked Trunk
[I]A reminder…

Hold 3 capitols for two entire turns is the victory condition.[/I]

It looks like Caelum will take Machaka’s soon.
It looks like Eriu will retake his own soon.
While Pan may be in the act of being carved up by Pythia and Vanheim, Pan’s capitol appears safe for now.
Shin still holds his capitol, but Vanheim is at the door.

All the print that’s fit to news.

hey, Hey, HEY, there Mr. Spiders of flaming death - what do you think you’re trying to pull? I’m doing the world a favor here, a FAVOR. If it wasn’t for the rest of the coalition and myself we’d all be speaking…eating…um, hatching spiders in our mouths or something. YEAH! My net gain from this whole ordeal so far has been 1 measly little province.

lolcakes…you have…um 39 provinces, and I’m the threat? The spinning going on here is starting to sound like a presidential campaign…

And a cap! It’s a foregone conclusion. You know as well as I do that you’ve got a horde of sneaky H2 priests killing me. Why fight when you can get it free? You dudes are falling for his spin! I’m dead.

Even when I’m not playing, this thread is all kinds of awesome.