5409

Are we taking bets?

Most of Twitter thinks it will be screaming about leaks and the media followed by electoral college votes.

5410

Yeah, I mean, that’s gotta be like -2000, right?

I’ll take “announcing the removal of loser, low-energy intelligence officials” at an even money line.

5411

It will also be about voter fraud, and how literally trillions of people voted illegally in the election.

5412

He hasn’t done that for the EOs, right?

5413

Yes, after voter fraud calculations, it has been determined that Trump received 98.9% of the popular vote.

5414

It’s to announce the new Labor guy from what I understand. Martin Shkreli maybe.

5415

This got a good chuckle from me.

I feel like we’re forgetting Trump’s Razor here though, guys. Whatever the stupidest possible explanation is, is generally correct.

So. Termination of the F-35 program, effective immediately, to be replaced with an air-superiority drone program? Straight up ignoring the court order halting the Muslim ban? Unveiling of a new subreddit in which contractors to build the wall submit their pitches and upvotes determine who gets the job?

The sky is the limit here, folks.

5416

Well, there’s also “what the press conference is supposed to be about” vs “what the press conference ends up being about” to consider. It could be to discuss the new Labor nominee, but I could see him spending 20 minutes talking about how much bigger his hands were than Trudeau’s.

5417

Oh, that’s an excellent point.

I need a drink. It’s 10:45am.

5418

I’m imagining that he shows up with a tiny mutant version of himself, ala Dr Moreau.

5419

For a moment, I thought you wrote “Trent Reznor.” I thought to myself, “Yep, I have been ignoring him. Is that so wrong?” But I’ll tell you this… I’d rather have Trent Reznor for President than Donnie J.

5420

I mean if we’re electing reality show hosts that pander towards populism, we could’ve at least gotten Mike Rowe.

5421


At this point, it’s the only logic that actually works.

5422

You know who else kept holding rallies after attaining power?

hashtagdailygodwin

5423

To be fair and with no other context I did have a couple common, generic prescriptions that cost me a whole $1.15 a piece the other week. Thanks, Obama(care).

5424


Snowden is just on vacation and Manning really liked being tortured for years apparently.

5425


5426

This press conference is making national news headlines for the incoherent manic nature of the responses of our chief executive.

Holy shit. He’s either coked up, nuts, or both.

5427

Even with everything I already know about how fucking crazy Donald Trump is, my brain can’t even comprehend the levels of crazy I’m seeing.

5428

No doubt Trump decided that underlings like Spicer and Conway weren’t cutting it and he needed to straighten the press out by himself. No one else was huge enough to do it!

So … Pence and the cabinet invoke the 25th Amendment by the end of next week?