The battle for number one (now with Tyjenks calculator!)

It’s a slow day at work, so I decided to try my hand at some Koontzian analysis. This was going to be a “who has the highest posts per day” type of thing, but that got boring really fast. In the five minutes I spent looking, the only person I found with a higher post-per-day count than Tyler “Ballsniffer” Jenkins is Gary Whitta. Maybe Brian can let me know if I’m wrong.

So that got me wondering, if they keep this up at their current rate (not very likely, don’t you have a job, Gary?), when will the regime change take place? Look, I told you I was bored. So based on my very scientific calculations, it looks like Tyjenks loses the number one spot sometime in the early morning on January 15, 2006.

I’m pretty sure that the rest of us, the crowd currently posting less than 9.58 times a day, will eventually converge into a black hole of forum posts, leaving only these two windbags to decide what their favorite movie with an actor they hate they’d rather see again for the first time, but only if it meant losing every other movie made by the same director.

If you could get rid of all the films done by one key grip in exchange for losing a toe, which key grip would it be and which toe?

You are not wrong. Whitta is an oddly maniacal presence on Qt3. Whitta owes at least half of his posts to the existence of Cleve Blakemore, so the future of Whitta looks a bit more grim with his possible departure.

With no troll to feed, where does Whitta’s identity go?

That’s assuming you don’t get there first… I thought you were at least the first possible challenge to the Tyjenks throne.

Careful what you wish for. Though not a key grip, Paul Johnstone, who played Cundalini of the Toecutter Gang in Mad Max (he was the guy whose hand is torn off) was gaffer on both The Matrix and Moulin Rouge.

OK, Brian, just for you I’ve created the find out how much you have to post to surpass Tyjenks page. It’s a javascript dealie and has only been tested in IE6, so it may or may not work on your computer. Give it your current post count and a date and you can find out how much work you’ll have to do to pass Tyler on that day. Looks like I have to post 17.16 times per day to pass Tyler on my birthday next year.

I’m not sure what to say about the existence of this calculator and webpage, but I typed in July 2, 2004 and my 679 posts and it said I had to post 17.78 times per day to get there.

I don’t see myself getting higher than about 30th ranked in Total Posts for a long time, if ever.


:shock: 1 down, …

I did find out that if I want to surpass Tyjenks by this past January I have to post -5.61 posts per day.

I think this means that I have to delete 5.61 Tyjenks posts per day, but I’m not sure. Mark, Tom…can I get some moderator rights over here please?

Well, actually it kinda breaks if you put in any date equal to or before the day after the current date. See, if you put in 7/4/2003 it would be 1564.06 posts per day, which makes more sense.

I bet none of you would create a thread and challenge me to a post off to beat Tyler. YOU AINT GOT THE GUTS

No worries, Mike. I am really just padding my post count again.

Watch how you word that. We do live in the same city and people may start to suspect something.

If I was not the whipping boy who would be number one. McCullough who pads his count with insane linkings and one line, pot shots. Or wumpus who’s entire post count falls into 3 categories:

-Warcraft III drools

-Complaints about members and their post content or post counts (strangely enough, as he is 3rd)

-Complaints about the number of different threads on subjects he does not want to talk about, but feels compelled to enter into (Well, other than complaining about the birth of the threads themselves so he really is talking about them)

Watch how you word that. We do live in the same city and people may start to suspect something.

If I was not the whipping boy who would be number one. McCullough who pads his count with insane linkings and one line, pot shots. Or wumpus who’s entire post count falls into 3 categories:

-Warcraft III drools

-Complaints about members and their post content or post counts (strangely enough, as he is 3rd)

-Complaints about the number of different threads on subjects he does not want to talk about, but feels compelled to enter into (Well, other than complaining about the birth of the threads themselves so he really is talking about them)[/quote]

How is it I’m unable to remember a single thing you’ve posted, sir? Sir, with the enormous post count?

Does that include the post you were in the middle of replying to and, in fact, had visible in the text box just above where you typed that? Cause damn.

I did not say my posts were better. Just asking if folks would have as much fun beating up on you or wumpus rather than me if the numbers were different.

As for your poor retention of my informative and entertaining posts, only you can answer that. Or was that rhetorical. Was that 2 questions or one? There were 2 question marks, but… I am confused after your brief jab as is usually the case when you peek in a thread, type a sentence or two and then pop out again.

I successfully ignored the majority of Kleve’s posts, maybe you are actively ignoring mine. I believe wumpus is trying to do the same and does, for the most part, other than needing to point out my total now and again.

You can all ignore me and I will maybe go away. OK, I won’t go away, but maybe I will reduce my number of visits. Probably won’t do that either, but my point is this: As I see it, I make ~ 2 or 3 more posts per day than everyone else in the top ten. That is simply not that big a difference. Its not as if I am posting in every thread, starting crazy topics willy-nilly, or making posts filled with leet speak. Yeah I make stupid, obvious jokes and could probably post two or three fewer times a day and the competition in the top three would be more stiff, But gol darnit, I follow games and TV and movies and politics and read and I have a mother fucking thing to say on occasion. Whew! Where did that come from? Sir, with your ranting and your language?

So :P .

We’re only 849 posts away from the magical 100,000 post mark. Will Tyjenks get it now that there’s only 848 to be had? The world may never know.

If I put my mind to it, I can probably log in early Thursday AM (CST) and make up the difference which will, by that time, be considerably less. That way, I can assure myself the 100,000th post. I will put the prize for that on my mantle right next to the one for highest post count.

Just saying. I can come up with one-liners describing everyone else - yours is “posts a lot.”

ooh ooh! do me!

Yeah, I want a McCullough Forum Personality Summary, too.