The Battle of Stupid Console Charts

We’ve had these dumb value comparison charts before from the console makers, but I think these two are supremely stupid.

Obviously <insert fanboy choice here> is the better value this holiday!

I like how they throw the Balance Board in there for some reason.

I like that and I like the Blu-ray powered HD for Sony.

It’s great how they just assume you need the Kinect or Move.

Such in depth valuation analysis. How can anyone not see which is the clear choice?!?!

Reminds me of the signs put up by shops during the disasterous UK PS3 launch.

This one here is also classic:

Well, if you’re using it as an exercise machine – and why else would you buy a Kinect? – that’s the fair comparison.

I’d tend to agree, but let me ask this (because I don’t know, due to lacking a 360 in the household):

That chart says “+ multiplayer” for the 360 and the Wii, and it includes the added cost of a Wiimote and nunchuck ($60). I thought the 360 only came with one controller - has that changed, does Kinect come with another one, or are they trying to pawn off Kinect as something that automatically gives multi-player to every game you’ve got?

Automatically gives multiplayer for every motion controlled game you’ll get, which is the point of the comparison.

I actually think Microsoft’s charts are pretty reasonable. The balance board is absolutely required for Wii in order for the Wii to match most of the types of games that will launch with Kinect.

Sony’s, on the other hand, is fucking hilarious. Excuse me, Sony, but I believe that I, as a human, am wireless, and most certainly have rechargable batteries thanks to delicious delicious food :-)

Ahhhh. Got it.

Yes, but can you experience “augmented reality” on your own? (… well, for less than the cost of a few beers)

I fail to see how a lack of rechargeable batteries or wireless in regard to Kinect is a point in Sony’s favour.

I’m not buying kinect, it comes with no buttons!

Yeah! They need to make a controller that has a ton of buttons, maybe a couple analog sticks for flavor. When they make that I’ll be all over it.

I think shoving in the balance board is pretty marginal, and I note including its $100 makes the X360 the cheapest in both scenarios (only just!).

I can just image the marketing people sitting around the table trying to think of just how they would make the X360 the cheapest … :-)

Are there even any multiplayer games that use the board??

That Royal Gala picture made me cough on my drink at work. That’s ultimately what all this is about, why can’t they just stick to the basics?

With Kinect your fat, blubbery arse will be forced to move around your squalid living room, performing arbitrary lunges to pull of the basic gameplay manoeuvres. With PlayStation Move© you need only muster as much effort at it takes to lift one of your ham joints and grip a TV remote.
In other words, buy our apples and not theirs, you consumer whore.