Nesrie
2032
I’m just going to put this here because I don’t know where else it should go.
Mini-Story time - I went to our local home show yesterday, spent a couple of hours walking around having people trying to sell me stuff. One gentleman asked me not once, or twice or even three time but four times if he could touch my hair. I said no thank you, politely, each time. He said it was “Special Hair.” And eventually I walked away not really looking at what he and the others were selling in that booth.
I wear my hair naturally too. I spent years crying, I mean open sobbing because i would leave the salon with open and weeping wounds on my scalp from the harsh chemicals of relaxing trying to get “good hair”. I got burned more time I could count by my mom or with my efforts by curling irons trying to straighten my hair to get… “good hair.” And as an adult I remember asking a young woman if she had ever done ethnic hair, she said yes in a weird way, so I said hair like mine… I’m not Latina, and she said no but she’d love to try and I never went back. That’s right. I haven’t set foot in a salon with the intent of using their services in over 20 years because I knew they didn’t know what they were doing, and I just didn’t want to suffer anymore.
Anyone who thinks my hair is not professional can just screw-off, to put it politely.
I have to ask, is this is a big issue in the states?
Obviously, being neither a woman nor having hair (I’m bald!) my exposure to this is very limited, but my impression of the UK is that really no one cares much about your hair generally.
Except maybe if it’s obviously dirty.?
ShivaX
2034
It’s a UK thing too, you just aren’t noticing because you’re not the target:
It’s a thing on the UK. Of course. White people being racist is as normal as grass being green.
It is stupid to worry about what people’s hair looks like. People find ridiculous reasons to criticize other people. Just fucking worry about yourself, that’s plenty.
We even worry about cleanliness too much in western society. I mean sure, it is nice if people bath and wash their hair regularly, but we over-obsess about it. Read Mr. Money Mustache’s blog about it, it is an interesting read.
jpinard
2038
What is up with strangers wanting to touch a person’s hair? That is creepy.
Nesrie
2039
It’s a huge issue which is why we have a bunch of laws coming through. It’s one of those lifelong discrimination issues that a lot of people just don’t think about because they’re too busy looking for burning crosses and nooses to notice the everyday stuff.
It’s also hard to understand because so much of outward facing black culture appears to revolve around churches and beauty salons so it hides the hundreds of dollars and pain women go through to be accepted. I say women but the little girls start early.
It’s more common in small towns and areas without a lot of individuals with certain diversity. I am also biracial so my hair is actually, well it’s a little different. It looks like African hair but it’s lighter and thinner and therefore doesn’t tolerate the harsh chemicals as well, kind of burns off. My sister in NJ lives in area where she actually sees black people and has hair stylist that know what to do so she either does her hair herself using child strength relaxers or goes to see someone. She does not wear her hair naturally, and that works for her.
Tman
2040
I had a black female employee for several years and I loved that she would come in every few weeks with a new hairdoo that completely changed how she looked. I’ve always admired and am quite jealous of black people’s hair, particularly since mine is thinning pretty bad these days.
She did mention though - that finding a hairstylist was #1 priority for her, in fact it drove all her housing decisions - did she have a hairstylist that knew what to do with her hair within a short distance.
Beautiful hair, but she never let on that it was painful to get it done. You taught me something today! I guess there is a payment of sorts for that gorgeous hair.
Nesrie
2041
She probably spent a fortune too. I mean it’s her choice to do that of course, but not always a choice because… natural hair isn’t okay right?
There were discussions in schools trying to ban extensions, for example, with some idea that it was creating a poor vs rich problem. This is because the cost associated with having your hair braided with say nylon hair and a hundred, or couple hundred dollars vs. using human hair and spend several hundred is… noticeable, visually. The poor kids will look pretty different from those who can afford it… but at the same time, there are kids who aren’t black that had their hair done with a mom, a bowl and a razor and others who got to go go get their hair done. And we didn’t ban that.
We’re not going to solve the rich vs poor scenario naturally, but when you’re born with hair that you are told throughout your entire life is no good, not beautiful, not okay, and you get rejected from jobs when you leave it natural or the schools keep creating rules that ban natural styles it’s an issue.
I think some movies kind of show it, usually for laughs,
I want you to picture a young person sitting there in a chair with her scalp… literally experiencing a chemical burn on their scalp and then knowing for a day or two it hurts to even put water on your head after that. They make it seem… funny. It’s about as funny as the least gentle dentist you can find.
And of course if you a biracial… none of these products work for you exactly the same in the first place and people just seem to switch between calling your hair special, weird or unprofessional because they see women who spend hundreds of dollar every 2-3 months and assume everyone should just do that, and endure the physical and financial pain.
It is funny you should mention the products issue: when I was an undergrad, I lived in a dorm that had communal bathroom in the middle of the dorm hall. About once a week, the white guys (me) would learn to stay the hell away from the bathroom in the morning, because the black guys were using this depilatory stuff on their faces to remove the facial hair, and GOOD GOD that stuff stank to the high heavens. I have no idea how the guys tolerated it. And we were always told to NOT use it on white skin, it would burn us and stain. I have no idea if that was really true or not.
Sorry, you just brought back a vivid memory.
Nesrie
2043
I am guessing it’s… this you remember?
It’s a power that you moisten and then leave on like Nair but strong and has a very distinct ordor.
The logo looks right, though as I recall (from almost 40 years ago) the can was red and black and white, not gold and black and white. Have you actually smelled the stuff in action? I swear it smelled like a slaughterhouse in there.
Nesrie
2045
They have that to, there are a few different versions:
Because of the shape of the hair follicle, I’ve been told people of African descent tend to get shaving bumps and in-grown hairs a lot more easily than others, so I have used these products as well, but not as often as the guys, many of whom have probably used this on a daily basis.
I also learned the hard-way that a family member’s well-water contains something that actually caused this product to create essentially a chemical reaction and cloud that caused quiet the problem for a day.
That is indeed the can, and thanks. And sorry about the toxic cloud!
Nesrie
2047
It just goes to show you how strong it is, and no wonder you had to evacuate the dorms when a lot is in use.
That gold one smells a little better but whatever the fragrance is makes my skin itch a little, turns it red in irritation. It also doesn’t mix as well but smells a little better. Nair has nothing on this stuff.
RichVR
2048
I used the blue one for a while. A coworker recommended it to me because I got ingrown hairs on my neck. Yes the smell was… strong.
Haven’t tried the powder, but I occasionally use the cream to avoid shaving some ingrown hair places. It takes longer than the instructions recommend, even on my thin hair, so not sure how well it would work on real heavy course stuff.
jpinard
2050
I’m going to say this is another case of black individuals getting sub-par healthcare because of their race:
Enidigm
2051
That’s horrible and angering to read Nesrie, and i’m sorrry you went through that. It’s bizarre to me to think that at any point in the last 50 years this kind of hair discrimination still exists.
