The Disenfranchisement of Flipper

The 9th Circuit decided today that cetaceans cannot sue in their own name under the Endangered Species Act, Marine Mammal Protection Act, NEPA, and the APA. Sorry Flipper, you’re screwed.

Wait, I thought the 9th circuit was full of tyrannical communists?

Guess you can add “dophin hating” to that description.

They also denied Charlie the Sea Tuna the right to marry. :cry:

Wait, they had to write an opinion on this? Kinda fun to see non-sentiants mentioned in a Federal opinion.

Well, the opinion says that animals have as much of a right to bring a lawuit as corporations or ships, but in this case Congress did not authorize them to do so. It’s a pretty fun read, as these things go.

I think it’s quite awful that the military may keep on using ultra high powered sonar pings that cause these wonderful animals pain, disorientation, tissue disruption and hearing impairment. (While hearing to them is far more important than to men.) And this is not a problem of some animals being unlucky, this sonic pollution practically infests all of this planet’s oceans.

A dolphin would rob your home and sodomise your pets given half a chance. Fuck 'em, fuck 'em right in the blowhole.

Seeing it from this perspective, I think you’re surely right.

Why do dolphins hate America?

In all seriousness, the Navy has made some efforts to test such things as low-frequency SONAR to find its effects on sea animals. The studies may not give the results they want (completely benign, move forward America!) but they accurately and fairly report them afterwards, and await review before deploying new technologies. I’m not saying they have the animals’ interests at heart, but give them credit where it’s due.

Well, you probably shouldn’t ask me to give the navy credit, but a nearly deaf whale colliding with a freighter. Not that he could hear you asking.