The Dominions 4 Thread of Multiplayer Stabby Stabby Ascension - 2014 Edition

Wonder if that post would get a like too?

Like! More war war fun fun!

I agree. In a way, it is scary because there’s the hardened TC vets who fended off a Nazcan incursion and boldly strode into the monkey’s jaw by taking Bandar lands. Then there’s the Ys troops still a little shaky on land and unsure of what they are doing.

One huge admission with this game is that scouting is hard! I actually had to build a fortress underwater just so I could recruit scouts every so often.

Wow - that was quite the battle in Bandar. Blind people everywhere!

Actually, I’m visualizing that battle and…it’s kinda creepy.

“Are you sure?”

The question hung solemnly in the dark, dank, room that was the office of the Eriu Exchequer. Maybe all such offices in all the realms were dark and dank, and if so, maybe it’s the nature of the denizens of these kinds of offices to seek out such space. Or perhaps, these kinds of spaces are the best of what remains after all else has been allotted to the more…social…government organizations.

“Very.”

The response, like the individual uttering it, was short, certain, and carried more than a hint of malice.

“Well, can your records possibly be wrong?”

This question hung in the air for a moment and was quickly engulfed by the room and the Chief Exchequer. His steely glare and barely concealed snarl was all the answer that question was getting. Nothing in the Chief Exchequer’s office was wrong. If he said it, it was correct. If he recorded it, it was correct. And if if came out of this dank, dark, claustrophobic office, it was most certainly correct. People would sometimes joke that if there was ever a dispute between the Eternal Goddess Kilt it, and the Chief Exchequer, people would lose faith in the Goddess. Thankfully, that has never happened, with the joke ending that the Goddess was just too smart to dispute with the Chief.

“Well, maybe they considered the territories we seized as compensation enou…”

The reply cut him off before his sentence could even be completed; “Those provinces were legally liberated from the Nazca Republic. Under standard articles of war, they are domain of the conqueror and thus cannot be gifted, exchanged, or otherwise used as compensation.”

The room seemed like it hung back, and if it could, it would be smirking at this contest of wills. The outcome was decided before this exchange ever even took place.

“Well, uh. Then, I shall go tell the Goddess at once and her diplomatic corps will get on it. Thank you, sir!” And with a sharp salute, and quick turn of heel, the Chief Army Adjutant of Eriu departed the dank, dark room. With his departure the room seemed to be darker, even more dank, and strangely, happily content, if rooms could be said to have emotions. The Chief Exchequer just smiled grimly and went to his Ledger to look at his note one final time. Yes, he thought, the Empire of T’ien Ch’i WAS late in its compensation for Eriu’s assistance in the Nazca war. He quickly scrawled a note logging the visit before taking the tome to a plush, dark purple chair in the darkest corner of the room: His favorite chair. And there he sat, opening the tome again and smiled as his eyes started pouring over his notes.

Yes, what a lovely Saturday.

“Are you sure?”

The messenger nodded nervously. He wasn’t sure if the sweat beading on his brow was from his anxiety or from the fiery heat of the kitchen woks. The Fire Elemental line cooks stirring the ingredients probably didn’t help the temperature here either.

“We already sent them their monthly order of 2000 egg rolls, 50 hot and sour soups, and 20 kettles of my chicken!” The man in the tall white hat and chef’s apron was getting redder and redder by the second - and with him the messenger was quite sure the color wasn’t due to the heat. General Tso, as with most chefs, wasn’t the most patient man around.

“Yes sir…but the Eriu convoy leader is saying it doesn’t count as payment unless there’s potatoes with the chicken as well. French fries would do…” The messenger cringed inwardly at memory of the General’s reaction when he was forced to add Guinness to the MaPo Tofu Sauce, and beef to the egg rolls. The fusion cuisine that developed in King’s Hill and Wide Grove, two T’ien Ch’i territories currently “managed” by Eriu, had produced some tolerable dishes such as Lamb Stew with Five Spices, but this…this wasn’t going to end well.

“POTATOES IN MY CHICKEN?!?!?! FRENCH FRIES?!?!”

THWACK

A cleaver shivered where it had embedded itself in the wall, just above the messenger’s head.

“That’s it. I’m going to see The Good Earth about this…insult to the world of cuisine. The abominations Eriu insists on creating must not be allowed to continue to see the linings of men’s stomachs!”

The messenger shook his head as he watched General Tso lead his kitchen staff off to camp headquarters. This was definitely NOT going to end well for those drunken barbarians…

That makes me miss this game. Points to both Pyrhic and to BotBaddict. Enjoy.

That was a mess of a battle- I say battle, because it was decided by a Pretender who was out of gems and out of script, who cast Raise Dead. Before that, The Four Shields and a Kick of Monkey Poo was casting spells left and right, militia, maneads, and a few revelers dying right and left. But once a few skeletons came up, and were promptly killed by the few remaining naked women, the Pretender …lost a morale check? I did not think the death of summoned creatures would cause a morale check, but that’s the only thing I can think of.

DireAussie was well on his way to breaking that siege, if it wasn’t for that. Of course, my blood mages going off script, and casting Bloodletting (when there isn’t an enemy army!!) and not doing Blood Burst as scripted…argh. Probably a range thing.

Well played DireAussie! One can only assume you have a hidden monkey with more gems to continue the assault, since I am pretty sure you have not rebuilt the lab I razed in your Pretender’s current province.

(Now, since I let him know that I know that he might not have any gems, he knows I will move to counter, so he will move a different way, knowing what I know. BUT! He knows that I will know that he will move differently, so he will know I will move differently as well! BUT THERE’S MORE! I know that he has other units that could come in. but does he know about my other units? I know that he knows some units, but knowing and acting on that knowing are different things. And if you have had an IPA, like I have, I know that I might have forgotten what I know, you know? Hmm…what do I know? )

There’s a battle turn limit which, when reached, will cause the attacker to auto-rout. I was hoping you’d rout first before it kicked in!

crack

Nick Cage looked up from his hairy tome. The demon at the doorway coughed nervously. Nick rose, gently closed his rubric with a satisfying plop, ruffled the monkey hide bound into the cover with a sigh.

Now those were the days.

“The cross-breeding experiments?”

The demon shuffled nervously.

“The cross-breeding experiments with the wolves?”

A puff of sulphur popped from a demonic orifice: “There’s been an issue with in-breeding,” the demon rasped meaningfully. “The wolves are… well, they broken into the sanitary warehouse… The toilet paper…too cute… Oh that crack? That’s the gate.”

“Release the…” roared Nick flamboyantly.

“… puppies”, intoned the demon helpfully.

And popped out of existance, leaving a faint smell of poo.

Ritual spells happen before army movement correct? Not quite so, as I learned today, subjecting my own army to suffer under 2 castings of Baleful star. That was wholly unexpected, but nonetheless, I’m coming for you BotB with my cursed army in tow!

Also, it doesn’t look good for Pyperkub’s Nazcan dreams. The side effect of my claiming the throne near their capital is the steady decay of their candles. To the north of the their capital shows my growing dominion, to the west is my dominion, and no idea what is happening to the south, though the change of lands from Nazca to Eriu doesn’t bode well.

Well, that’s me done. Fun times! Will talk some more at the wrap up! Grats to DA.

Just a reminder, I am away from my computer till Wednesday of next week. So plot and scheme for a bit longer than normal…I haven’t even seen the turn…

The battle between Shin and Bandar could have been different, if a Frozen Heart spell had landed on Secret Agent 1, the caster of Fog Warriors.

And in the category of learning new things about this game every single time I open it, apparently Body Ethereal stacks with Fog Warriors and Mass Protection!

Anyways, I am back, and have submitted my turn.

I just realized today I hadn’t even opened the last turn until just a few hours ago, ugh. I got my turn in just now, though.

Hmm, Caelum, would you be interested in taking over the previous home of the goblins? While I fully intend to clean up the monkey poo all over the place, I would rather not be sitting on three capitals. I do not want to have that target on my back, not with the impressive armies that everyone is fielding here.

(Curse these game rules for forcing negotiations to be out in the open or via the in game messaging! :) )

Can I get a 12 hour extension? Having some issues with the email service.

Thanks!

Caelum…Caelum…Caelum.

If you had issues with TC, I wish you would’ve mentioned them to me!

Oh well, I’m sure we’ll work it out!

Ahhh, nicely done Y’s. I couldn’t resist firepower of that magnitude! But beware…though we’re down, we’re not out!

Well, since the dogpile’s begun maybe we’re going out…but we’re going out swinging!

Eriu…now, don’t go and get all hurt about my attempt to reach out and touch Kilt It. Not after your brilliant novella and foreshadowing.

This is getting messy - and fun. :D

ps Could I get an extension until Wednesday next week please? I’m headed out camping with no cell service for the long weekend…

Sure thing! The game will now host at 2103 GMT hours on Wednesday .