Silicon Valley thinks the path toward solving the obesity and nutrition problem in America is a $400 juicer with expensive juice packs. Clearly they’re tuned to the pulse of a nation.
It might be the path toward solving the obesity and nutrition problem in Silicon Valley.
I really like that in the Juicero video, the person cuts the bag open and splashes out a bunch of orange muck to show everyone that it’s not just juice in the package, as if that mitigates any of the issues people have with this boondoggle. Then, to add insult to injury, the Bloomberg reporter clarified that they didn’t even cut a hole in the bag to squeeze the juice out. They just squeezed, and the juice poured out of the bag spout.
[quote]
We received an important update from Olivia Zaleski, one of the Bloomberg reporters who squeezed the juice bags. According to Zaleski, they “didn’t snip a hole on the end of the bag as your article says” but “simply applied light pressure to the bag and the juice poured out.”
“I know it’s hard to imagine that there is little more to this situation than a light squeeze,” Olivia added. The juice, it seems, is somehow even easier to squeeze than we previously imagined.[/quote]
Ya, the video seemed totally absurd to me, in that it just confirmed exactly what I suggested.
The bags just contain a bunch of pureed gunk. There’s nothing “fresh” about that. There’s nothing better about this than just buying fucking juice in a bottle.
One funny thing about it was that they were like, “Don’t buy these bags and just squeeze them!”
I was like, “Dude, you should be so lucky! At least then you’d make money selling your fancy bags of unfiltered juice!”
The reality is that no one’s gonna buy the machine, and no one’s gonna buy the bags.
Where I live, there’s been a lot of talk about concentrates from China, like how natural is juice really kind of conversations. I still find the machine comical since it clearly a 400 dollar press. It would be nice though if someone came up with a cleaner actual juicer. The one I have is great for making juice and then spending 20 minutes cleaning it out, especially during ant season.
Oh. My. God. Their YouTube channel is glorious.
Also, check out how simple the setup is! It’s almost plug & play!
Fucking piece of shit fucking low life fucking goddamn ants.
I may or may not have an ant problem at the moment…
Oh I do. These little shits seem to have come early this year too.
I am always pleased when one of my negative expletive-filled threads is supplied with fresh content. Especially when “Dumbass Internet Of Things” expresses the ineptitude of the makers moreso than “Internet of Shit” used elsewhere.
They are kind of a constant problem around here at the moment, we seem to have a few black ant nests infesting the property and they are persistent little buggers when it comes to getting inside and at any food scraps left carelessly about. Does not pair well with a 3yo and two cats…
Pest control coming in next week, so hopefully we get a better outcome than six months ago.
Little bastards.
The ants, not the pest controllers…
Diatomaceous earth, my friends. Poof some around the doors and in corners, and ants go away. (cause they die when they walk through it)
And it’s totally safe for people and pets.
(unless your pets are insects. In which case they will die.)
WTF?? There’s a real not-fake competitor!
Although, to be fair, there’s no subscription or DRM. You stick your own fruit or veggies in the reusable bag and put that in the “Juisir” unit. But you do have to chop your own fruit and veggies.
Edit: Oh. NVM. The bags are the “razor” part of the razorblade model. Even the reusable bags need to be thrown after a few uses.
I tried to like your post twice, but Discourse would not let me.
“No mess! Except for this mess, but you can just compost it, or eat it!”
“Grab a spoon and enjoy the orange slurry!”
It’s like every single aspect of the thing is just complete insanity.
I half expect them to be like, “You can even drink your own pee up to 7 times! So really, every bag of juice is like SEVEN bags of juice!”
I have to respect them for not going with Juisr.
This is the bar that’s been set.
The CEO is every jackass CEO stereotype from Silicon Valley. This is an actual thing he wrote:
[quote]
It’s incredible to come to work everyday alongside hardware and software engineers, food scientists, designers, farmer partners, and all our other team members who are committed to building a new way of delivering raw, plant-based nutrition.[/quote]
We’ve had thousands of years of plant-based nutrition that didn’t need a cadre of engineers and designers to crap out a $400 press and a DRM subscription service.
Ya, but how were you doing it? With your HANDS? That’s like a baby’s toy!