So is it your position that women, categorically, are the only people who can get pregnant?
Just kidding, of course. It seems to me that anyone reading your original post should have known what you meant. But who will stick up for the men? Someone needs to. Preferably men.
And before someone asks, “So is it your position that men should never react to stories such as Chloe’s with suggestions that perhaps she shares the blame?” Yes. Absolutely. Shut up and listen.
You’re such a hero. Do you have anything else you think should be off-limits for discussion, on a discussion board?
To be clear—she doesn’t share the blame for his behavior, that’s on him. But she may very well share the blame for what is clearly a messed up relationship.
Who will think of the men?
Historically speaking… the legal system.
There are a handful of individuals on this board that just don’t respond well to the fact that I don’t have a penis. I probably often don’t sound like, act like, think like or respond like I do have one. So naturally that leads to this weird frequent attack bomb where they accuse me of something, which I didn’t intend, and when I try to clarify they enter character assassination mode and try to figure out how to reprogram me in ways they don’t demand of anyone else or they just end it with some snide remark.
There is no way in a room full of women that my initial remarks would have been seen as… well that. So yes, I am often genuinely surprised when I read something like… so you say women always suffer, or you say women always have to be believed over men, or something like that… just because I am saying, the experiences would be very different between them… even if there was some back and forth, but based on what she says, I am skeptical that was true.
I believe this in my gut, if not by experience.
That tactic of summarizing someone’s argument by setting a trap makes me angry. “So you’re saying that every single woman suffers more in an abusive relationship?”
Either the poster believes that you might actually mean that, or he doesn’t. The latter case is disingenuous. The former is just mind-boggling. So I assume it’s the latter.
And then, in classic style, they object that they were just looking for clarification.
Consider yourself mind-boggled, then. I’m thankful that we have a mind reader and professional psychiatrist on this board to tell us what we think. I’m also thankful that this board is so well-moderated by self-appointed thought police.
You don’t sound thankful.
Sarcasm maybe? Who knows.
So, what is the scope of metoo? Make all men’s behavior virtuous?
Identify perpetrators of abuse?
It’s a genuine question.
And women can be extremely abusive. I’ve seen it, heard about it and experienced it.
If even one woman has been abusive, then it is important that we always keep this in mind when men are abusive. It’s only fair.
Said no woman ever.
But I shouldn’t have been sarcastic, I agree. I apologize.
I do, however, want to reiterate that Stepsongrapes is claiming that he honestly believed that Nesrie could possibly be claiming that in every case, women suffer more in abusive relationships. Forcing her, naturally, to have to say no, that’s not what she was saying.
It’s a bullshit tactic and all I’m doing is pointing that out.
I’ve experienced it too. And, let’s be clear, it should be all about all the ways people abuse power, relationships, and the like over another. The coercion, the mink fuckery, the outright abuse and sexual assault. The way we, as a culture turned a blind eye to these things for too long.
But for a whole host of social and cultural reasons there are specific ways that abuse shifts more towards men, particularly the type of abuse stemming from power imbalance. And l, because of the way news travels, you are far more likely to hear about famous male athlete/ producer/ politician sexually abuses partner/ employee/ random bar patron.
So that we hear more about famous person abusing power dynamic than Jane Smith being emotionally abusive to her husband in Idaho Springs is a feature, not a bug.
I think you need to white knight a little harder to earn that badge. Maybe 3-4 more posts riling things up. Surely, I’m the only person to ever take issue with a Nesrie post. And it’s always because we’re part of a nefarious conspiracy.
What’s your deal man? You just woke up this morning and decided today was the day, or something else? And just to be clear, not every person who agrees with a woman, is white knighting.
That is very well said.
But do continue to hit every note in the handbook, @Stepsongrapes, as you avoid addressing my one and only point.
You are not the only person to become frustrated, but you also should step back and think about it. @Nesrie can be forceful, absolutely, but she’s also got a unique and valuable perspective. Sometimes things are much more personal for her in ways they never can be for you. For her some things are not abstract.
So on the occasion where I’ve been on the other end of a misunderstanding with her, I stop to think before replying and attacking (this applies not just to Nesrie, I do try and always take a breather when I feel the urge to attack). Because most of the time it’s not the first time she’s had to deal with that issue. And it gets tiring
Hell, I get tired of the dog piling on her, and that’s when I’m not involved.
Tl;dr try to assume good intentions on other people. And if you find yourself taking the most extreme reading of someone’s positions? Well…
This is weird speculation, given that he is not claiming that at all. His little outro that “oh she totally wanted me even more after we broke up, she’s just jealous” is more telling I think. Maybe it’s true, but seems like a weird thing to brag about in a public forum.
It’s always comforting when I assume someone is being disingenuous so I refuse to engage with them, and then sure enough less than a day later they’ve gone from superficially “reasonable” posts to using language like “white knight” unironically.