Yes, I know. I’m saying that the argument we don’t treat assault and murder the same doesn’t really describe either the problem of dealing with racism or the solution.
My father and his wife are racist Trump supporters. I don’t see them often — we live in different countries — but I do visit them when I’m in the US, and I do stay in their house, and I do have a relationship with them. If they start talking about politics and/or race I will oppose what they say. If they don’t, then I’ll keep my views to myself. So it’s a kind of detente I tolerate out of what feels like necessity.
Now, if they were acquaintances or friends, they would not be acquaintances or friends. I just don’t care to associate with people who hold their views and think they can share them with me or in my presence, if I don’t have to. I’ve had enough of that in my life. But my unwillingness to associate with them robs them of nothing by my company and esteem, and if they really believe what they say they believe then they don’t value those things anyway. But even if they do, it’s not like putting them in jail, is it?