S3EP1 watched. I’m not keen on it, but need to gather my thoughts before posting a rant under a spoiler tag. We will probably watch the next two tonight. If you haven’t caught that yet, they posted the first three episodes at the same time.
My very spoilery thoughts. The writers need to pull things back together and toward a more believable reality. I feel like the plot is a bit lazy so far. We’re dodging plot holes in episode one.
Okay, so I start this season with a rant, and I really hate that. Last season was epic, the finish was epic, the plot progression was slow at parts but eventually moved forward in a big way. June got to see her first child again. She got away from the Waterfords. She had her baby. She was at the point OF ESCAPE, WITH THE BABY. She chose to stay. Would she fight? Would she do -anything- to try to get her Hannah back? Did I mention it was epic?
Well, so far she’s done none of those things. I’m gonna frequently swap June and Offred’s names with no rhyme or reason. Kinda like this episode’s plot.
Scene: 'Merica. It’s the night of the near escape. Underground Handmaid Railroad bus to freedom pulls away. Where will June go? To Hannah, her daughter. Of course! Yay, get her back June!!! So she makes it to Hannah’s house. We’re unsure how. Maybe she Uber’d. But no. Security is on her tail already, the must have been monitoring Uber. She gives the housemaid a wink and a smile and slinks upstairs. She has a choice, wake up the kid and try to escape, or apparently don’t wake her up and tie a small reminder around her wrist while looking at her longingly while already having broken in past the house maid downstairs. You know, just gotta see her, that’s all. But wait again, we’re not done. Now she has to have a run in with security. Mrs. McKenzie shows up, oh no! No worries, “security be gone,” Mrs. McKenzie says as she spots June. Wouldn’t she say, “arrest her?” Or perhaps she would say, “That woman is trying to abduct my baby!!” No, instead she lets security go. Then she and June stare at each other before passing niceties about Hannah like, “she’s good at cooking,” and, “she likes to sew but she isn’t good at it.” WTF?!? Maybe in another reality Mrs. McKenzie would say, “Book em, Danno.” But I guess we need more episodes. So instead there are no consequences for breaking into their home and nearly stealing her baby back.
Meanwhile, in Canadastan, Emily successfully escapes past We-Just-Want-To-Watch-You-Flee drones, swims across a river with June’s baby, who is underwater, and then pops out to let the baby catch back up with breathing. Good-Guy-Canada cops show up, wrap her in crinkly solar foil and take her to the hospital. She’s been through a lot. The solar foil will keep the baby meat fresh. Everyone stares at the sex slave walking into the hospital with a baby in her arms. But what do you do seeing a rape victim carrying a baby? Well apparently you break out in spontaneous applause. Because that’s just what Canadians do. They applause.
So eventually June gets taken back to the Waterfords. Wait … after that last night she’s allowed back? She’s not arrested? The Waterfords, having gotten her back and after the craziness she’s done AND her giving their child away in the night, they just let her back. Cool cool cool. We’re all cool here, how are you? But wait again! Now June and Serena have to have a moment, because you know, some strange ass motherly/woman bonding between an overbearing child abductor and a raped slave she tormented. They have to have a moment. While Fred looks on all, “duuuuh, what’s going on?” Then Offred is allowed to just go back to her room. Go to your room, Offred and think about what you’ve done by giving away our baby and any real tie you even have to be in the damned house. Just go. Also if you smell smoke, go check on things.
Wait again!! Smoke you say? Yes. The Entire fucking upstairs is burning while Serena is all zone-out watching it. And instead of opening the door and seeing that and cackling with glee and maybe even pushing Serena into the thick of it, Offred decides, nah, let’s save that bitch. So she saves her and they go sit across the street and watch it all burn down. The Waterford’s home is gone. Their baby is gone. You know, maybe now, AFTER the fire, they should kick Offred back to the office secretary pool Handmaid Torture Facility.
So we meet up, again, in the Handmaid Torture Center. They’ve been busy cloning Aunt Lydia lookalikes everywhere. Offred is all, “let’s do this shit.”
Quickly though, let’s check back in on Canidastan. Luke and Moira have to run down to the refugee office, also known as the 80’s era library card catalog office. There’s been news! A grainy photo of Hannah has been put in an overly large envelope. Sign for it please. Maybe we should have Emily happen to be in the exact same random place that Luke shows up so you can tell him June isn’t coming. She doesn’t know Luke at all, but that’s okay, she can just ask the random guy there, “Are you Luke?” Of course he is! “Hey man, I have one of June’s rape children. She saved my life. She’s not coming, LOL.”
Back to 'Merica, Handmaid’s Torture Center. Offred has some new foot scars. Bad shoes in 'Merica apparently. Offred needs to get her, “Officer and a Gentleman,” groove on and clean some floors with a small brush. She’s got nowhere else to go. Handmaid actress #47 has to show up and let Offred know that Emily escaped the We-Just-Want-To-Watch-You-Flee drones and is now in Canadastan. Offred gets to smile for a sec. Aunt Lydia clone #5 shows up to tell her to pack her suitcase. We suddenly realize that Handmaid’s also get matching red suitcases. It’s part of the gig benefits. Ovary time is a-wastin, so better put Offered somewhere to get knocked up again.
We take a long ride to a suspicious new home for Offred. There is a tense moment dragged out unnecessarily for some extra minutes. A slow walking new master approaches. “Blessed be the fruit.” Who will it be? Where would they put Offred this time?!? Maybe, they will place her somewhere that goes through Handmaids like water. Why the hell not? “May the Lord open.” Wait a sec, that voice! It’s semi-creepy but also awesome Underground Handmaid Railroad guy in a dashing ensemble of teal, complete with ascot. “You’re not gonna give me any trouble, are ya?” Offred cracks a smile. “No sir!” Oh HELL NO. We’re gonna bust out of this bitch as a team. Team Handmaid Railroad! And you know what this calls for? A Nappy Roots tune. End Scene.
It was disjointed. Some things didn’t make sense, as an example the scenes in the house Hannah is at. But I can’t tell based on the finish if they were just spinning wheels or setting a completely new scene for the season. If it’s just new scene setting, let’s do it. If instead we’re going to continue to wallow back into Handmaid land and the Waterford’s controlling Offred from afar and such, no thank you. Let’s overthrow this government or smuggle the Handmaids out. Let’s move forward. That’s my two cents plus a few dollars more.