The Hills Have Eyes, and Axes

Has anyone else seen this movie yet? I just went tonight and was thorougly dissapointed. The advertisements were pretty misleading, making it look like a horror movie. It’s actually a slasher movie (very different, the former goes for scares and the latter goes for shock).

I know it’s a remake of an old 70’s slasher flick by Wes Craven. Sadly I saw it on impulse and knew nothing about it aside from what I had seen in various advertisements (Will you play with us?).

Aside from the misunderstanding over sub-genre, it’s probably got one of the most mind-fucking scenes in any movie that I’ve ever seen:


Two mutated freaks are taking turns raping a screaming teenage girl in a mobile-home. After the first has finished with her and the second is getting started, the older sister walks in on them. She goes to attack them, but they have a weapon to her infant, so she just drops to her knees and lets the one mutant who deflowered her teenage sister wrip off her bra, and then fondle and suckle mother’s milk from her lactating breasts while she sits there with a look of defeat, disgust and frustration on her face.

The mother of these two girls walks in and is shot in the gut while the rape and molesting continues. The lactating daughter shoves a screwdriver into the deflowering mutants stomach/grain region, and is shot through the eye for it, while sister is still getting molested.

Meanwhile, the lactating daughter’s husband and brother are outside trying to put out the family’s father who has been trussed up and set ablaze.

After the smoke has cleared the one sister’s husband enters the trailor only to find the younger sister bleeding from the crotch, holding her legs and rocking back and forth, the mother shot and laying on the couch, his wife with a bullet wound in the eye freshly despoiled as well and his baby missing.

It was all just too goddamn much for me and I felt like my brain needed a shower.

I couldn’t even enjoy how one of the mutants looked exactly like the deformed dude from The Goonies. I kept expecting him to wrip off his button down to reveal a Superman tee and yell catchphases like “Heeeeey youuuuu guyyyyys!” and “Baby Ruth!”

It’s so bad I doubt I’ll be able to convince my girlfriend to come with me to see Silent Hill at the end of the month. :(

I saw it today and it was utter shit. It falls back on pretty much every overworked, hoary horror cliche in the book. The film-makers only seem interested in how much they can harrow the audience with the most repugnant depictions of violence, torture and base inhuman behavior they can imagine. Worst of all, it’s boring.

After the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massace, Hostel and now this, there seems to be a really disturbing trend in Hollywood horror these days. The real scares are gone, replaced now only by cheap shocks and increasingly abhorrent gross-out tactics. Lame.

As expected, it’s not anywhere near as good as the inbred mutant “X-Files” ep. Damn that was one terrifying episode.

A friend of mine, who’s really into horror movies dragged me to this. Now I remember why I don’t like this shit.

The original was pretty shitty so I decided not to see the remake.

Rape as entertainment?

I think I’ll give it a miss. Didn’t think it was my kind of film, now I’m sure.

In fairness, this movie sounds like the worst possible representative that he could have chosen for the genre. I like horror movies, but slasher flicks don’t really even qualify.

At least the original had Michael Berryman in it.

But it has lactating breasts!

This was not good? Well colour me surprised >.<

Definitely the creepiest X-Files episode ever aired.

/me wonders if the inbred mutant “X-files” ep is anything like a Lovecraft short story he once read

Man, I sometimes think I’m into horror movies, but then I actually see one and I’m not so sure. The American remake of The Ring freaked me right the fuck out for a couple of weeks. Even Final Destination 2 had some images (elevator scene) that stayed with me longer than I really wanted!

The nice thing about the interweb is that there are so many spoilers that you don’t really HAVE to see something anymore. I was somehow compelled by this flick, so I dug around until I found a total plot synopsis of the original, I read the official site and then some, I read this thread with all its spoilers… and now my curiosity is satisfied and I’m happy not seeing it. And I won’t have nightmares because the spoilers are a lot less upsetting than the actual movie would be!

I still have “Saw” on my Netflix queue… maybe I’ll just do the same thing for that one… I guess I don’t really need any more nightmares :-)

What do you call this movie?

The Aristocrats!

LOL. Nice one, RW.

Heh. Awesome.

Fussbett is going to tell you guys you are wimpy fags for not enjoying shitty films depicting torture and rape. I am disbarred from commenting further on a film’s entertainment value without having first viewed the film in question following a court order issued to me as propitiated by a Mr. L. King.

I’d say that scene is some tough stuff. That’s a lot of violence and the end of a lot of characters in a very short time. It seems rather busy, almost cartoonishly overloaded with transgressions, but that scene is probably repeated daily somewhere in Africa.

Making the audience genuinely uncomfortable, to the point that many are distressed and wish to leave their seats or complain audibly is impressive. That said, as a horror scene it does not compare to the cinematic abortion that comprised the entirety of Date Movie.

To much horror in a horror movie! Pussies, all.

I think Date Movie was a complicated injoke I didn’t get. On the face of it, it is an alleged comedy that is mostly a parody of the already-a-comedy Meet the Fockers.

Only two fictional stories have ever genuinely terrified or disturbed me.

But of course, Ray Bradbury wrote the screenplay, so it’s obviously awesome. Granted I was 9 or something when I saw it.

Best. Horror. Story. Ever. I bought a collection of Lovecraft stories that included this, and while the others – like nearly all horror fiction for me – barely registered on the scare-o-meter, this is the masterpiece of 20th-century horror, and nothing even comes close – only and solely because of … but if I tell you why, I’ll ruin the experience for you if you haven’t read it.

It wasn’t so much a horror movie as it was a director’s attempt to submerge my psyche in a pen full of corn and fly infested pig shit. It worked, because I walked out of the theater feeling pretty filthy.

This must be a shadow of what it feels like to catch a skin flick at a porno theater.