The Hitcher: As Bad As You'd Think

My buddy and I were fans of the original flick, which was well-directed, well-acted (Or, I don’t know, “well-performed,” I guess? It’s a pleasure to watch Rutger Hauer in it, but whether it’s actually acting is probably is open to dispute…) and effective, overall. The reviewers of the remake seem to diss the original so, on the off-hand chance the remake might also be getting a bad hand, we decided to check it out.

Ass on toast. With the exception of one effect, the gore is far wimpier than the original, the conceit of taking the lone driver and turning him into a couple so you can work in a hot chick in short-shorts is ill-advised, and, weirdly, most of the scenes that are lifted from the original (they have several pages of dialogue that are just cut and pasted wholesale from the original) are done worse in the remake. Why wouldn’t you try to top that rolling police car pas de deux? Or at least recreate it? It’s as if someone watched the original Hitcher and went, “You know, this film is far too subtle. And exciting. We should remake it!”

I do give the filmmakers credit for using a time machine, plucking Andrew McCarthy from the year 1983 and dressing him up as Shaggy from Scooby-Doo to play the Jim Hallsey role, though.

So, yes, that’s the PSA for today: Kids, stay in school, don’t do drugs, and avoid The Hitcher remake.

It’s as if someone watched the original Hitcher and went, “You know, this film is far too subtle…”

Yeah, that just broke my brain.

The (original) Hitcher’s one of those flicks I keep meaning to rent again someday and see if the memory survives intact.

Man, the original movie freaked me right out when I watched it as a kid. I’m happy just remembering that.

I figured the remake would not be as good as the original.

I knew nothing good would come of it when I saw the guy in the young lady’s spot in that truck scene…hope thats non spoiler enough.

I kinda have a soft spot for the original. Of course, I haven’t seen it in a LONG time, and it probably wouldn’t hold up very well today, and it really wasn’t a really good movie, nor a box office hit.

But movies aren’t made to wow us in 20 years, but rather to affect us now, and when I saw that movie I was both spooked and laughing and thinking it was awesome, mostly because of Rutger Hauer perfectly nailing the part:a psycho, yes, but also evil bastard perfectly happy with what he does.

Also, I was just a kid and I thought the ending was great. I feel for Sean Bean making this movie.

I love that Sean Bean is the new Michael Caine / Samuel L. Jackson.

I hear you my brother. I mean FIXED!


I take it he dies in this one as well then? I can think of lots of films with sean bean, in but only two of them where he lives.

Is there meeting room in Hollywood where studio execs chomp on big cigars and muse on which half decent film to utterly ruin this time around?

“Say guys, what do you say we remake Philadelphia? We can cast Nic Cage, Rosie O’Donnel and Tom Cruise in it, but this time we’ll have guns and explosions.”