The I'm drunk thread

Drunk. Yep.

If that includes Smirnoff and Absolut, I agree.

I am not a vodka expert, but I like Finlandia.

By really cheap I mean stuff like Georgi and Popov, stuff that smells and burns like gasoline. I actually haven’t had Absolut in years, but it’s probably fine for mixing purposes.

Smirnoff is perfectly acceptable for most uses. I used to buy it, although now my wife makes me buy Stolichnaya because it isn’t that much more expensive, and she says if you’re going to drink vodka, it might as well be Russian. I can’t disagree.

That’s always the best person to make out with.

Dogs are always good for plenty of hot tongue action.

I have already seen this dog in reddit. Is adorable

We agree, although that adorable number up the page is starting to change my mind…

Whew… So I went home with girl I’ve been avoiding all semester. That happened.

Then a couple of Chi Phis stole a (stuffed) Water Buffalo from our house. That was interesting.

Late night Pizza tastes good though.

Yeah Ally Sheedy was hot for a few months in the 80’s. You had to be there.

Rum and cokes at a friend’s place, then rum and cokes at the bar. Compared war wounds with a cute girl who’s in town for the holidays from Chicago. Then some girl mumbles something about me wearing a peacoat, but I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t know if it’s really a peacoat though. I kinda thought it was when I first bought it, but now I think of it as more of a suit jacket/overcoat kinda deal. It’s weird. I’m never sure if I should take it off when I get somewhere (like an overcoat) or keep it on (like a suit jacket). I tend to keep it on though, as I MAKE THAT SHIT WORK and the ladies seem to like it.

OPINIONS?

It looks like that. Comes down to about knee length or so, which is why I say it’s more of an overcoat. Am I causing some sort of faux pas that I’m not even aware of?! :O

So the wife and I and my mom took a long drive to Tampa to have Thanksgiving with the aunt of my brother’s wife. She happens to be the agent that got us our house.

There was the aunt and her husband there, as well as an older couple who are friends of the family. And my brother’s step son.

I will be honest, I was not looking forward to this. My job, which I found out by executive fiat, was to bring the stuffing/dressing.

So the night before I made some kick ass dressing. Even though is seems that Florida has never heard of chestnuts, I made it with apples, onions and celery.

Anyway, we get to the general area of the house and my brother pulls his car into a rest stop. We had been on the road for two hours. There was a dog in my car. A dog in their car.

“Let’s have breakfast.”

Now I didn’t want breakfast, so I got to watch the dogs while the rest of the family went into a Cracker Barrel for breakfast. Well, at least I dodged that bullet. Anyway after walking the dogs around the parking lot and letting them piss on anything they wished to, (including the tires of a midnight blue cherry Thunderbird with a hood scoop) breakfast was over.

We got in our cars and drove very close to where the dinner was supposed to be. But we pull into a rest stop again.

Why are we stopping?

“They aren’t ready for us. We have to wait here.”

What?

“They aren’t ready yet, we have to wait here.”

So we sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes. Luckily the Circle K sells beer. I got a 20 ounce can of Pabst. Hey, I was desperate.

Eventually we go to the place. It’s a fucking castle. I mean huge and rambling. Backyard with a sunken pool. And the whole backyard is fenced in with that steel frame mosquito netting. And outside that part is the rest of the property that goes on for ever. They have hummingbird feeders everywhere. The wife makes bird baths from concrete and natural leaves. It’s like hippie nirvana.

Anyway, we walk in and the wife hands me a towel. “You can start drying the dishes. Be careful their Limoges.”

And so I’m drying dishes, each one worth my salary for a year.

And there are two tables. I figure one, the small one in the back, is the kiddy table. Guess where I sat? But that was cool. Because the old couple that were their friends sat there too. And we had fun. Lots of champagne. Then red wine. Our table had the huge ham. Their table had the huge turkey. And my mom made lasagne on top of it all.

Okay, so the dinner is over. I go out to roll a cigarette. I hear, “Be back in time for game time.”

Game time? Is this gonna be some weird wife swap thing?

No real game time.

The husband comes in with a white board and a tripod. We’re gonna play Win, Lose or Draw.

Of course it’s the ‘girls’ against the ‘boys’.

And honestly, I had fun. My brother sat out. He was, as our hostess said, “Every party has a pooper and you’re that one!”

I kinda felt like I had driven through a wormhole into the 1950s.

Green bean casserole and all.

But it’s not the worst Thanksgiving I ever had. Maybe the strangest though. More beer.

I didn’t intend to be drunk tonight, but the Laphroaig Triple Wood is very very good.

The other day I went to the liquor store to buy more vodka and Kahlua. White Russians are my drink of choice. (The Dude abides… or in my case, the Dudette)

When I got to the register, the trying-to-be-helpful cashier tells me they have this off brand on sale for $10 cheaper and maybe I’d prefer that. In a moment of weakness I said “Sure, what the hell” and ended up with something called Cafe Granita. A 1.75L bottle of it. I figured it would be fine. I mean, once it’s all mixed up in a White Russian, it will be fine, right?

Wrong. I tried some when I got home, and it was pretty dreadful. I was extremely disappointed and figured I’d force myself to finish it, but never buy it again. I only had one drink with it that night.

The next morning, one a whim, I called the liquor store and asked them what their return policy on spirits was.

“As long as you have the receipt, we’ll take it back,” I am told.

“The bottle’s been opened though,” I say.

“That’s fine. As long as you have the receipt.”

So yesterday, I return to the liquor store and and return an opened bottle of liquor and buy myself some proper Kahlua. I’m still shocked that they took it back.

However, I am now happily full of White Russians that taste good. :D

Bravo. That’s one fine liquor store you have the Hansey. Make sure you let them know that.

Here I sit getting
drunk on CCZ and rum
grinding WoW dailies.

White Russians are the only drink I’ve ever been able to make for my favorite bartender which he’s actually enjoyed. I’m afraid he’s only been polite with my other attempts, and later honest.

And I second the commendation of your liquor store.

I just saw Jonathan Coulton play. It was fun, and I sang like a zombie.

Sounds like a triumph.