The I'm drunk thread

What? Did someone have one too many tabs open?

I wish I could find a place to reliably get real sugar Coca Cola, not the crappy US corn syrup stuff. It would make these rum and cokes so much tastier, I think. Or maybe I’m just being a snob.

My local generic chain supermarket carries Mexican coke por el sabor de casa (or probably another more correct phrase than my highschool spanish can generate). There’s got to be places in Ohio that do too.

Question 11 - On a 1-10 scale how likely is it that you are poor and want to just get drunk really fast for as little money as possible?

10

Question 12 - On a 1-10 scale how likely is it that you actually taste the beer that you chug?

1

Quetion 13 - On 1-10 scale what is the chance that you chugged a can full of a roommates urine thinking it was a flat, warm beer?

11

Question 14 (50 words or less) - Why is your roommate storing cans of his urine?

Woa, that giant glass (350ml roughly) of port was consumed far too quickly (and on an empty stomach). Now I’m having to proof read my emails three times.

You have worse problems. This isn’t your email app.

How embarassing.

But on a side note, I’m almost sober, and in fact far closer to what I was originally aiming for. Wow that was strange.

Next time Have Some Madeira, My Dear.

RichVR is the continually snobby resident of an “I’m Drunk Thread.”

Natty Ice is fine. Ancient bottles of whiskey taste no differently after three. If you hadn’t had three, then you are not drunk. I think that logically he should shut his alcohol hole and leave it to the professionals.

What the…

Be nice, fellas. Be nice.

I’m okay now.

That was random. Sorry if I’ve offended you, ScurvyPig. That was never my intent. But I am an asshole so I totally understand that I may have pissed you off at some point.

More rum and cokes. More drunkenness. But it was a pretty sober week for me! Was feeling cooped up, had to get out and do some drinking and socializing. I deserve it. I have been holding back on all the gorgeous girls in my college classes! :D

Cockblocking is a terrible terrible sin. I’m going to have to talk to my buddy Russ about that.

Seriously. For shame.

What a weird and difficult few weeks. My fingers are numb.

I thought you did an admirable job of picking up the baton.

Argo, god I hated Carter. Yet if he had asked I’ll enlisted. Shame there are still Iranians on earth.

You know what? I an incredibly drunk right now. And I take back my apology to ScurvyPig. I never did anything to deserve that shit. So fuck that shit. I’m drunk and proud. And screw the scurvy pigs everywhere! I am a decent individual. I love flowers and Flowers. I am a happy man. I have a sweet wife and a wonderful bird. I owe no apologies to no person. If you don’t like me, fuck you. I have the heart of a Viking warlord. I have the eye of a guy with an eye that sees things. I am mushy and crunchy. I am both Prickles and Goo. My step is hard, but my tread is soft. You will love me, because you must. But you will hate me because I demand it. All is change because I say so. Pretty rabbits snuffle. And anger angers the gods. I make no sense because I do not wish to.

or I can simply say, it’s not April when the rains are cold.

What the hell am I doing here?

Remember AmiPro for the Commodore? It was so cool. Then you had to bite the code on the neck to get a simple sentence on a typewriter ribbon.

BOOM!

Let the funstuff begin.

Guildenstern. Is not me.

I have spoken.

I am so going to regret this in the morning.