The I'm drunk thread


#2441

I just had a bottle of Rochefort 10 the other day... Holy shit was it amazing. If I could afford to throw away money like it was candy, my beer fridge would never be without this beautiful nectar.


#2442

You folks are slacking off. Bulleit Rye Manhattans. Patty melt for dinner. Life is tolerable.


#2443

The Tell us what pictures you have taken recently (that are interesting) thread title drives my OCD FUCKING NUTS.


#2444

Even when you're drunk?


#2445

They could have build a cheap well build car. Instead thay choose nukes. F them all.


#2446

This is me, in 1990 shortly before getting hit by a car. The last picture i allowed to be taken.


#2447

I love my frou-frou craft beers and home brews, but there's a lot to be said about several ice cold Bud Lights in a frosted glass while sitting at the bar eating good pizza and watching a ball game.


#2448

I just made some soup. This soup will change your life. It will change your brain, make you sane and bring home the troops from fucked up wars. It is the soup that a god would eat before he creates a fine and lovely universe. This soup has layers of flavor. This soup has flavors that can't be described in any language. The oil that I skimmed from this soup can bring the dead back to life. And I threw that part away. This soup is the reason for humans having taste and smell. This soup is so good that you can taste it while I never describe it to you. This is the Ur-Soup. This is the soup that launched a thousand ships. This soup created a mutiverse where Madame Curie was cured by tasting it. This soup created Jazz. This soup defeated the Nazis. This soup wrote Gravity's Rainbow and read Finnegan's Wake in one hour.

This soup is both the Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end.

This soup proves and disproves the existence of God. God wishes that she could make this soup.

This soup is not available in your area. This soup is small and very large. This soup is invalid without a stamped card. This soup will fix your computer but not cool it.

This soup loves you, but not in that way.

This soup is dangerous, but not unheathy. This soup watches you while you sleep. But not in a creepy way.

You love this soup.

Trust the soup.

Do not worry. The soup is coming for you. Be just. And do not fear the soup.


#2449

Recipe?


#2450

smoked kielbasa
bacon
celery
carrots
onion
garlic
green onions
parsnips
red potatoes
low sodium beef broth
crushed tomatoes
smoked paprika
onion powder
garlic powder
balsamic vinegar
extra virgin olive oil
unsalted butter
salt
pepper
flat leaf parsley
basil


#2451

Even without measurements, this sounds like something I want in my mouth.

Teach me jedi kitchen master!


#2452

:D :D :D :D :D :D


#2453

Blips, laugh if you will. I shall explain. When making a food that takes many ingredients, salt is a variable. You can always add more, but it's hard to remove too much. In this case the root vegetables, parsnips, carrots and especially potatoes need a lot of salt to be seasoned properly. They will absorb salt in a long simmer. So you avoid adding salt when you can. Beef broth and salted butter add salt that is hard to quantify. So you use the lowest salt version of those ingredients. Then after it's cooked for a while you taste for seasoning. Mainly salt. If it's a bit low you add some. But at that point, if it's too salty you're screwed.

For instance, when I first sauteed and added all of the ingredients to this soup, I gave it a stir. Then I tasted it. It was salty as hell. That's when I knew it was seasoned correctly. Of course I was worried. But after a few hours of cooking it was seasoned perfectly.

You have now learned a thing.

You're welcome.

Edit: It takes a long time to learn this stuff. I don't always get it right. But I hit it just right this time. If it turned out too salty I would have baked a potato or two and added them to the soup. Hey, it's soup. Long story short. I nailed it this time.


#2454

I use a big dutch oven. In this case it's a large ceramic clad cast iron fucker. Since I now live in Florida I have to use an electric stove. Luckily it's a newer one. So I st it at 7 and wait until I hear a ping. That means put something in me or I'll start to flake. Then I add the butter and some olive oil. Then I add the bacon. Yeah, that's right, bacon in olive oil and butter. Turn down the heat. Let the bacon sautee in the mix until it starts to brown. Then add the garlic, onion and green onion. let it be hot! Worry about the garlic getting too brown. Then add the carrots and parsnips. Stir, stir, and fucking stir. Never let the bottom of the pot get black. Only brown. Stir stir stir. It should be speaking to you by now. Now it says, hissss. That means that all the water is gone. Now add oil if it's needed. It probably will be. When the oil hits the pan it will scream at you. No problem. Now add the rest of the veg, probably the potatoes at the very least.

Now is when you season it. In the hot pan. Use all the seasonings. They have to brown with the almost dry ingredients. It will bring out the flavors.

Stir stir stir! Never leave the damn pot!. See if the potatoes have gotten a bit brown. If they have it's time to coll shit down.

Crush the tomatoes from the can in your hand. Drop them in the pot. Save the juice.

Stir stir stir!

Mix, stir, mix, stir!

Let the pot yell at you! It's saying I am making flavor, bitch! Scrape the bottom of the pot.

Add a container of LOW FUCKING SODIUM BEEF BROTH.

BOOM!

Steam and savor explode from the damn pot.

Now stir it and taste it. It's cold right? It tastes like salty shit. You would NEVER serve this to a friend or a fucking enemy.

Now add a whole kiebasa sliced in half inch rounds.

Add water to make sure the solids are covered.

Use the incredibly heavy cover and cover that sucker.

Turn the heat down real low. So low that when you occasionally open the cover you see a bit of blooping but not much.

Then set your timer for 5 minutes. Every 5 minutes, stir. And set it again.

Keep doing it until the kielbasa gives up its grease.

Let it cook for as long as you want now.

Bingo.

Edit: Use the juice from the tomatoes for a kick ass Bloody Mary.


#2455

What you said makes perfect sense. I viewed the low-salt ingredients as health choices, not as attempts to provide better control on flavor.

I pretty much never add salt to anything I cook because I'm a casual health freak, but I pretty much live off my chicken stew so thanks for the lesson :)


#2456

Yep, here I am. :()


#2457

Hey! Me too! What a shock.


#2458

It's just a night that will soon be morning and then the ease comes.


#2459

Hello fire, my buddy! What's up with you?


#2460

Not all that drunk actually, but I love this band...