So, apparently I got thrown out of the bar last night. I am waiting for my intern to show up and explain to me what in the hell happened.
RichVR
1642
You have a bar intern? Damn, I need one of those. I am drinking with the wife tonite. This is unusual in that the wife does not usually drink. She brought home the mixings for raspberry cosmos. She’s on her third. I’m on my first six pack. This will either be a fantastic evening, replete with fooling around… Or me holding her hair while she pukes.
I will hope for the best but expect the worst.
Hah, I wish. Got invited out to happy hour with some of my kickball team, brought along two of my co-workers (one being the aforementioned intern). I was doing just fine on half-price Boulevards, and then Intern buys a round of tequila shots.
I went from drunk to Fucking Hammered pretty quickly, and before I know it, I have a red-shirted bouncer clapping a hand on my shoulder and telling me “You probably ought to go now” and escorting me out. For being too drunk. At a bar on a Friday night.
Ain’t no justice, I tell ya.
RichVR
1644
Dude. I was a bouncer for 7 years. I’m guessing that you had to have done something pretty bad. OTOH tequila is a harsh mistress. I would escort people out that were just sloppy drunk. It’s sort of like being pro-active. A bartender would give me the signal and I’d lead a guy, or girl, out of the establishment. Sort of a pre-fight or pre-barf kind of thing.
It’s never personal. Trust me. Even if the person involved gets rowdy, it’s never personal. But we know fucking hammered. It shows in the lack of ability to enunciate and a certain gait used by sailors that is not proper for landlubbers.
That’s what seems to have been the case. As usual, almost every bad decision in my life comes down to either tequila or redheads. Given that both were present, I think I dodged a bullet.
I did spend a good amount of time hugging my new toilet, though. My happy porcelain friend.
RichVR
1646
A good idea is to stick to one kind of alcohol. As the saying goes, do not mix the grape and the grain. Do not mix the clear and the dark.
In other words, if you’re drinking wine, don’t drink beer and vice versa.
If you drink vodka don’t go to bourbon or scotch.
There are also sidebars. If you have a couple of shots, then go beer, don’t go back to shots for any reason.
If you have shots, and only shots, count them. And don’t drink anything in a glass bigger than a shot glass that has alcohol in it.
Regardless, never have more than one shot in a half hour. And just because “you feel fine” don’t have more that one shot in a row.
One other thing. And you might know this. Or not. When you are totally shitfaced that last shot is a bad idea. Because if your stomach is pissed off enough, that last shot will not go all the way down your throat. Halfway there your esophagus will say “fuck no”.
And then you will spew like a fucking volcano. And holding your hand over your mouth won’t help. It WILL come out of your nose and maybe your ears and ass as well.
And if you are in a bar, you are fucking up a lot of drunks. And then the fight starts.
Never vomit on some guy or his girl.
This has been a bouncer PSA.
RichVR
1647
One White Duck on Your Wall you proles!
RichVR
1649
Baker Street Muse.
Damn it, Ian Anderson is a god!
He very well may be.
The one and only time I caught Tull in concert, he stopped the show midway through and told the stoners in the audience to stop toking or he’d pack up and go home, as the smoke was irritating his throat. And damned if they didn’t listen.
That’s still just about the best rock concert I’ve ever been to.
RichVR
1651
I was at the Shea Stadium concert. The police next to us shared a pipe of hash with us. I think the band before Tull was called UK something. It was a person with an amplified violin and and they were great as well.
RichVR
1652
I am an old man. I love my 1970s music. It reminds me of my wasted youth.
Allan Holdsworth’s old group? Sweet.
Wow. Me and the hot girls are the sober ones tonight. I feel like I’m betraying the thread.
tiohn
1655
Have you closed the deal with any of them yet?
Shadari
1658
Went exactly one month without drinking but I was soooo bored tonight that I couldn’t resist. Expect some cheesy music videos in another hour or so. Hope you guys can forgive me. :(
Shadari
1659
