The Intellivision is returning, and it has a new boss

I watched the new Switch announcement, and I’m pretty sure that footage of kids playing with their grandparents was doctored. Everyone knows that the Switch is too complicated for grandparents! You need to be an Olympic gymnast to figure out those controls! The Amico is clearly the superior choice.

Completely serious here: I don’t know why TT is entertaining 10 subscriber YT channels with exclusive interviews (instead of real promotion and sales since they appear to have hired some lady who did that at Nintendo previously) and it’s the eleventh hour without showing off any major (exclusive, ie. anything that would attract potential buyers) game footage.

Plus, TT’s embroiled in flame wars on forums. I’ve attended a couple of his Videogames Live concerts and thought he was a pretty amiable guy. Disappointed to find out his Twitter follows all the usual alt-right people as well.

This thing has no chance.

TT calls setting up a table at a booked event center as “partnering with Crayola”

…similar to how he called paying for a slot at E3 “such an honor”

This thing is going make the Ouya look like the Wii.

He’s still bragging as recently as this week that they’ve spent zero on marketing.

Now, the embellishments reach the level of “Shigeru Miyamoto himself revealed to me the secrets of game design when I briefly worked on a 3D game called Metroid Prime and I applied it to Finnegan Fox”

…much like how J Allard was part of the Intellivision team when he was soliciting investors.

Me too! I loved that! Let’s play some Wagner.

After TT mocked the soft launch of the Atari VCS, they now are targeting “500 units” at launch. So much for their original 2020 target.

I’m going to stop following this sad, pathetic train wreck of a console since it feels like punching down and I’m already disappointed to find out the guy behind Video Games Live is a right winger.

That fact sub-hunt isn’t in it, plus it costs more than $100 blew it for me. The fact he’s an alt-righter means even if it did have them, it’d still be a no-sale.

One last thing: turns out it won’t have physical games.

it was never supposed to, but they are doing some type of physical media, I’m thinking something like Skylanders where you can buy a physical version and the system reads the RFID to download the game.

TT is trying to redefine a redeemable card as physical media.

Intellivision has a lot of stuff posted for preorder on international Amazon, with the announced launch date of October 8, 2021.

Based on this and a chart they include, it appears their 7 planned launch titles include: Biplanes , Brain Duel , Dynablaster , Evel Knievel , Finnigan Fox , Missile Command , Moon Patrol and Rigid Force Redux . It is possible more may be added, but that is where it stands now.

They will also offer various skins for the controllers, a carrying bag and a controller sleeve.

Full descriptions below.

Intellivision Amico Evel Knievel (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

Now it’s your turn to follow in the footsteps of the legendary daredevil hero with the official Evel Knievel game!

Relive his spectacular career, starting with a humble 250 Scrambler, jumping rattlesnakes and the lions, to insane jumps like 13 London buses and the Las Vegas Casino Fountain on the 750 Ultimate. Compete with up to four players to see who can jump the Snake River Canyon on the Skycycle X-2! Have fun doing wheelies, flips, loops and many other stunts. Tackle burning tires, diving boards, cranes and many other exciting obstacles. Earn money from jumps to buy lots of awesome bikes and outfits, including his legendary white and blue leather outfits and the awesome Jet-Powered Stratocycle!

Features:

  • Single player and multiplayer modes
  • Intuitive controls
  • 28 challenging jumps in 10 historic locations, including: Las Vegas (casino fountain), Chicago (man eats sharks!), Ontario (18 cars and a van), London (13 London buses), Snake River Canyon
  • 11 unique bikes including: 250 cc Scrambler, 650 cc Deluxe, 750 cc Ultimate, the jet-powered Stratocycle, the rocket-powered Skycycle X-2
  • 8 classic outfits and 20 special helmets to collect
  • Achievements
  • Dozens of objectives
  • Bronze, silver and gold trophies that you can earn with each jump

“Anyone can jump a motorcycle. The problem starts when you try to land!” - Evel Knievel

Intellivision Amico Finnigan Fox (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

Finnigan Fox is a fun and clever action platformer with RPG and puzzle elements!

Switch between seasons on the fly, shoot and slice with your magical melee crossbow, and grab loot to uncover the mystery of Season 5. A foxtastic fable with exciting super secrets, larger-than-life bosses and thrilling exploration. A four-player Versus mode completes the package. So, what are you waiting for? Unleash the power of the seasons!

Features:

  • SEASONS. Switch between different seasons to explore new areas, outwit enemies and uncover amazing secrets.
  • MAGIC MELEE CROSSBOW! Use a weapon like no other to shoot, slash, slide and change seasons.
  • FOXTASTIC FABLE! Help Finnigan uncover the mystery of Season 5 and bring justice back to the woods and its inhabitants.
  • AUDIOVISUAL DELIGHT! Enjoy colorful cartoon graphics and a stunning orchestral soundtrack.
  • ACTION PLATFORMER! An exciting adventure with thrilling RPG elements, clever puzzles and screen-filling bosses.

Intellivision Amico Moon Patrol (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

THE YEAR IS 2021 AND ALIENS HAVE ENTERED OUR SOLAR SYSTEM!

Hostile aliens are swarming the moons of every planet, disrupting their gravitational fields in ways that could rip apart the worlds they orbit and destroy the solar system! Our campaign with the Luna City Police begins far outside the Sun, where aliens are first spotted in the skies of Pluto as they enter the moon Charon. From there, we track them during their relentless push to the inner planets.

This epic mission to protect humanity’s future takes us to nine moons throughout the solar system. Climb high peaks and descend to cavernous depths, encountering ever-increasing dangers and enemy types along the way, using the rover technologies you find along the way. Across the vast distances between planets, race through exotic wormholes and gather additional resources for battle.

Team up or compete with family as the battle moves ever closer to the sun, because whatever the aliens want on our star must be stopped!

Features:

  • Relive the original game experience: we want to give everyone - new players and experienced players alike - the same feel and atmosphere that the original had when it was first released.
  • Power-ups: Collectibles to unlock new Moon Rover weapons and abilities are spread across all levels.
  • Dynamic camera: Shifting angles provide a better view of the dangers ahead
  • Minigame: A quick diversion between levels that offers the chance to earn extra lives.

Intellivision Amico Dynablaster (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

The legendary classic bomber is back: DYNABLASTER is now available as a new and improved 3D action and multiplayer game!

Dynablaster has many great VISUAL and SOUND effects! The blockbuster DYNABLASTER is a game for strategic and tactical players whose quick thinking and clever plays will scare their opponents. In this addictive action game, players try to destroy their enemies with cleverly placed bombs. When you play in groups of up to four players, the last one standing wins!

This game will keep you on your toes - each bomb must be carefully placed to have a chance at winning. The game features a variety of items, such as PowerUps hidden under blocks. Players will destroy walls to unlock these coveted PowerUps, as they grant a variety of new tools and abilities. In addition, you can customize your DYNABLASTER avatar in the game by choosing different characters, outfits, heads, haircuts, hats, bombs and much more.

DYNABLASTER at a glance:

  • One of the best BOMBER GAMES of all time.
  • Modern 3D game based on the ORIGINAL
  • Local MULTIPLAYER with up to 4 players
  • NEW special COOPERATIVE key-collecting mode
  • Balanced SINGLE PLAYER mode
  • 50 exciting LEVELS in 5 breathtaking WORLDS
  • customization of your own character
  • 9 unique BONI and POWER UPS

Intellivision Amico Rigid Force Redux Enhanced (Code in Box)

CLASSIC SHOOT’EM UP ACTION IS BACK! Rigid Force Redux breathes new life into the classic side-scrolling shooter genre with lovingly handcrafted 3D models, stunning environments, detailed effects and an electrifying synthwave soundtrack.

DESTRUCTIVE FIREPOWER! Arm your fighters with numerous upgradeable weapon systems and additional Force Shards! Collect energy orbs to fill your energy supply and eventually unleash an extremely powerful blast against your enemies!

CONFRONT A SUPERIOR ARMADA! Fight against huge swarms of enemies, heavy gun ships, laser-wielding mechs and giant alien creatures. Each enemy has its own unique and challenging strategy, from the smallest creature to the biggest boss.

MANY EXTRAS! In case the extensive, action-packed main mission isn’t enough for you, try out the challenging Arcade and Boss Rush modes, defend your ranking in the global leaderboards and get all 40 achievements. Everything is set for countless hours of shooting fun!

Features:

  • Classic side-scrolling shoot 'em up action with modern 3D graphics.
  • Exciting couch co-op mode for 2 players
  • Unique weapon and power-up systems
  • Many different enemies, challenging mid-bosses and huge end-bosses
  • Exciting story mode with animated cutscenes and full voice-overs
  • Additional Arcade and Boss Rush game modes
  • Six different action-packed stages
  • Challenging but fair gameplay
  • Adjustable difficulty level - for beginners to experienced players - leaderboards and achievements
  • Original synthwave soundtrack by Dreamtime featuring Michael Chait
  • Brand new bonus tracks by Tommy Tallarico

Intellivision Amico Biplanes (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

Up to eight players compete in various game modes in timed rounds. Players earn points by aiming at each other or focusing on stationary targets. Environmental hazards, from sudden lightning to burning debris to unforgiving ground, require a high level of confidence from any pilot hoping to survive. With high winds and the ever-present threat of engine stalling, maneuvering skills will also be put to the test.

The most exciting addition to the arcade original is an evasive maneuver that lets the player avoid attacks and obstacles. This, combined with equipment losses that change the abilities of the plane and its weapons, adds modern flexibility and freedom to the action. Players can fight in classic free-for-alls or team matchups, trying to destroy bases with bombs or conquer them in five different game modes. For fans of the original Triple Action, Biplanes features an original game mode that returns to the roots of the Intellivision classic. Join the BIPLANE AIR FORCE!

Features:

  • We want to give both modern and retro players the best possible experience by recreating the same sense of intensity that the original game had when it was first released
  • Evasive maneuver allows the player to perform aerial acrobatics to avoid enemy attacks and environmental hazards
  • Dynamic camera: in some game modes, the camera moves in and out depending on the players’ positions on the screen. This enhances the dramatic effect of the presentation and gives players the opportunity to see their planes up close
  • Map selection: Multiple maps with different strategic factors provides different visual and gameplay moments
  • Weapon types: To keep the excitement in the gameplay and challenge the players, different types of weapons can be acquired by collecting “equipment drops”. Some even challenge the player to engage in close combat or hit targets with bombs
  • Aircraft variants: The list of aircraft consists of real-life dual and mono aircraft. These are all replicas of real historical aircraft

Intellivision Amico Missile Command (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

In one of the most famous arcade games of all time, players must protect their cities from mysterious enemy invasions in Missile Command. Try this classic arcade game experience - now with a new, completely re-styled version with improved graphics on Intellivision’s Amico. Supports up to 4 players in 4 game modes! Multiple environments, 12 unique powerups and high octane action from start to finish. Team up with your friends in this intense couch co-op shooter to protect your home base from computer opponents, each other, or both at the same time!

Features:

  • Single player or co-op (up to 4 players).
  • Versus modes (2-4 players)
  • 2v2 modes (4 players)
  • Multiple environments
  • 12 unique powerups
  • Competitive leaderboards

Intellivision Amico Brain Duel (Code in Box)

Price: 17,99 € ($20 USD)

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

Brain training for all ages that you can do alone or with your friends. Salvatore and his granddaughter Vesta will give you advice and support and explain which parts of your brain will be activated during your workout. They will motivate you to keep moving and take care of your mental fitness.

All 30 brain activation exercises have been tested by Dr. Kawashima, a respected and well-known Japanese neuroscientist who has also appeared in other popular and highly regarded brain training products. In addition to individual training, you can practice together with family and friends by creating an individual profile for everyone. Start tracking and improving your mental fitness every day!

Many other features await you as part of this extraordinary brain training game, such as extensive leaderboards and statistics, leaderboards and a trophy room. A truly unique brain training experience awaits you.

Features:

  • Brain training product of the highest quality with a scientific approach.
  • 30 specially designed exercises to stimulate the brain
  • Daily tests to check your current “brain fitness” level
  • Dynamic difficulty levels throughout the course
  • Detailed scientific background information for each exercise
  • Detailed help system that can be accessed from anywhere in the game
  • Comprehensive and detailed statistics
  • Profile management to allow multiple players on your Amico
  • Real-time multiplayer mode for up to 4 players
  • Simple and intuitive user interface for all ages

Intellivision Amico Button / Disc Attachment

Price: 14,99 €

Pre-order price guarantee. This product will be released on October 8, 2021. Pre-order now. Sold and shipped through Amazon.

  • With this button set and the free app you can upgrade an Android or iOS smartphone to a full-fledged Amico controller with haptic feedback
  • The buttons are very easy to attach and remove within seconds

Intellivision Amico Console Case

Price: 28,99 €

  • Perfect for safely transporting the Amico console on the way to visit friends
  • High quality, fluffy with numerous pockets to store accessories

Intellivision Amico Controller Sleeve

Price: 16,99 €

  • Perfect protection for the Amico controller when traveling
  • Can be attached to the pants or pockets by means of carabiner

Intellivision Amico Controller Removable Vinyl Overlays

Price: 16,99 € Per 3 Pack

Packs include: Animal, Girls, Military, Racing, Sci-Fi, Sports Rec

  • Give your Amico controller a custom look with these easy to apply and remove protective films
  • Three different designs per pack

OK, have to admit I’m a little curious about Moon Patrol. Not enough to actually spend any money mind you, but I am curious.

I’ve checked all of the above links, and none of those games is even close to having “I’d like to pay €18 for that” vibes to it.

The system is $340 CAD up here.

I revisited the investor pitch, and after Nintendo’s recent family push and “play together” with Mario Golf and other titles, I realized how full of shit TT is. The “there’s no family consoles out there” and “existing consoles are just way too hard”…
If we’re going to take him at his word, then this new console was made for people ages 90 and up because even 70 year-olds were playing the Nintendo Wii, so you need to go a generation higher lol.

I mean, it’s marketing. And trying to market a terrible console that is barely above vaporware. As a dude who’s been in the industry for decades I have no idea how he thought this made sense. I guess once you’re all in, you might as well ride it. But the endgame doesn’t appear to be anything but disaster.