The Kuwaiti Konspiracy

This, from the popular London-based online scuttlebutt weekly Pobbitch:

Popbitch recently met a mysterious man claiming to be a senior Kuwaiti politician. He was accompanied by two lesbian Russian hookers and, after a few drinks, told us the real story of the Middle East.

  1. The Kuwaiti government paid $20 billion to USA to “take out” Saddam Hussein. (Pays for Bush’s tax cuts and could help him get re-elected.) The Iraq war was therefore the most expensive hired hit in history.

  2. Saddam and his sons were killed on day nine.

  3. Al Qaeda had no involvement in Iraq - the Kuwaiti has met with Osama Bin Laden since the war and reports that Osama is delighted that Saddam’s been dispensed with.

  4. The good news is Iran and Syria are safe. No-one wants to pay Bush to attack them. Yet.

The Middle East has always been big on conspiracy theories. I’ve heard the “Kuwaitis are behind it all!” theory before, but never to such exacting detail.

did he mention the fact that Saddam Hussein borrowed 8 billion dollars from the Emir of Kuwait to finance his war against Iran and refused to repay it? Hence the invasion of Kuwait, to invalidate his outstanding debt.

And here I thought it was about slant drilling.

Also from Popbitch:

>> Policeman wanks dog <<
Alsation receives monthly spray’n’wipe

Britain's new sexual offences bill clamps down 
on stuff like having sex outdoors and fucking
animals or corpses. 

However, it's OK if you're a policeman. We've
just received a report about a dog handler in 
the Devon and Cornwall Police who masturbates 
his police dog, an alsation, to ejaculation, 
on the 15th of every month (his payday). He 
claims it stimulates the dog, both physically
and mentally.

(FYI: an amendment to the bill from Baroness Noakes
reads: "Page 32, line 1, leave out ‘genitals’ and
insert “penis”’)

As you can tell, it’s a bastion of journalistic integrity. (Although it is a snarky good read.)