The loathsome song thread

Shadari’s “Awesome song” thread led me to start this one. What songs are not merely lame or unrocking but actually make the world incrementally worse by their very existence?

My vote is for “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry. If you haven’t yet “enjoyed” this little gem, there are lyrics and the official video.

Kyle Ryan, a writer for the Onion AV Club, read my mind when he listed it as “infuriating art”:

No other song incites the punk in me more—just hearing “Crazy Bitch” makes me want to don a black mask and hurl Molotov cocktails, because any state that allows such utterly worthless misogyny not only to exist but to thrive NEEDS TO BE SMASHED.

As he noted, “a legion of misguided ladies then turned it into a girl-power anthem, making Buckcherry’s ample “Crazy Bitch” merchandise badges of honor for girls who like to paaaaaaaaaartayyyyyyy! Wooooooooooo!”

He’s right. Girls, you shouldn’t put your lack of self-respect on Youtube for all the world to see. Some day you’ll be mothers (unfortunately).

Your loathsome song need not be offensive or misogynist for purposes of this thread - some songs so betray a lack of talent that they might belong here too. So how about it?

How can you talk misogynistic songs without mentioning Bitches Ain’t Shit? If you don’t know the lyrics, listen to the Ben Folds cover first. He covers it totally straight and the first time I heard this it made me ROFL.

Maybe we ought to disqualify misogynistic rap songs, since they’re so plentiful, kinda like how ballads got disqualified from the “least rocking” thread. :)

Nookie, by Limp Bizkit. Definitely offensive and misogynist, but also terrible, so it should count double.

I’m stuck listening to regular radio at work and the only station that comes in clearly plays “alternative rock”. This mostly consists of obscene amounts of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rage Against the Machine and Pearl Jam, but also still manages to drive whatever new songs are out into the ground.

Metric - Guns, Gold, Girls - I hate this song. I’m sure it’s mostly because I hear it so often, but also because the lead and backup singers are just so terrible.

Linkin Park - New Divide - Besides the fact that this astoundingly generic song sounds like it was written specifically for the end credits of a movie, I can’t stand how he breathes heavily after the last word in several verses of the song. I guess it’s supposed to make him sound anguished, but it sounds idiotic instead.

POD - Alive - Old song, but I despise it nonetheless and it still gets a shitload of air play. These guys just try too hard. And later in the bridge of the song, the lead does that same stupid heavy breathing as in the Linkin Park song, but to a much more retarded degree. “Now that I know you HHHHHHHHHH HFFFFFFF, I will never turn my back away HHHHHHHFFFFF FIIFFFFFFFFFFFF drool

Any 311 song - Hate. I hate these guys and I’m not entirely sure why. I can’t think of another band that makes me want to vomit right on the radio as much as any track from 311. They don’t do the ridiculous, high-pitched white boy rap as much these days at least. I will give them some credit, however: they do indeed “come original”. 311 has a huge following, so whatever they’re doing is working. I just wish I knew what the appeal was. I used to work with a guy who was into them so much that he got “Come Original” tattooed across his lower ribcage. The best part? Aside from the actual text, it’s exactly like Tupac and other various gangsta and gangsta wannabes’ “Thug Life” tat. Great job!

Oh, and not to defend Limp Bizkit’s terrible “Nookie”, but it isn’t misogynistic unless you just listen to the chorus.

Lips of an Angel, Hinder.

This guy is talking to his ex late night on the phone all secret-likes and telling her he wishes he was still with her. Real nice to the sleeping girlfriend. This song got way too much airtime a few summers ago.

The Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up” . Any song by The Talking Heads.

Soccer Practice

This song laughs off locker room rape.

You have to give some sort of reason - nothing would justify dismissing Talking Heads, but I’m still somewhat curious.

And I like Smack My Bitch Up.

I’ll see your Bitches Ain’t Shit and raise you NWA’s “Findum, Fuckum and Flee” and “She Swallowed It”.

Oh wait, this isn’t the Awesome Song thread.

The Talking Heads ruined alot of my mid 80’s jogs/runs, they weren’t my cup of tea and would break my runners high. I never miss a chance to slam them.

How about Benny Mardones, Into the Night
Just sixteen years old, Leave her alone they say. eww Yeah, dude there are laws.

Holy crap, I forgot about that song. I actually liked it when it first came out, but I never paid much attention to the lyrics.

What 16-year-old girl wouldn’t want a piece of this?

‘Loathsome’ implies songs that are not just subjectively bad (i.e., you don’t like, say, Talking Heads) but are actually, genuinely offensive in some way. Like ‘These Boots Were Made for Stomping’ by Skrewdriver or something, right?

One can loathe a song for any number of reasons. :)

Hah, I read the OP but somehow missed that line!

Like, Fast Food Fist Fuck by the Meatmen a song that really captures the essence of Wow raiding.

In that case, can I nominate Patio Lanterns by Kim Mitchell? For its sheer, unadulterated blandness. Kim Mitchell is the enemy of all music.

Obligatory “My Humps” mention.

Did that song make it south of the border? Man, Kim Mitchell stinks.

He’s a super awesome dude in real life, though - I worked a show of his during university where he brought an absurd amount of his own homebrew beer to share with the crew. I’m talking like a good twenty or so cases. He’s a genuinely friendly guy, and was probably the nicest musician I ever met when it came to meeting and greeting his fans.

Obligatory addition of the entire Black Eyed Peas catalog.

If we’re nominating for blandness, I’d like to add the entire Hootie and the Blowfish catalog.