The November Man

Friends don’t let friends watch The November Man. Just don’t. Trust me. I was all like, “Pierce Brosnan in a R-rated spy movie directed by Roger Donaldson? What could possibly go wrong.”

EVERYTHING, that’s what.

Aaawww, that’s a shame, I love both Brosnan and spy thrillers. Thanks for taking one for the team!

That’s disappointing. The previews made it look pretty good. Brosnan does the spy / cold blooded assassin thing well.

The previews lied.

Any chance you could give a non-spoilery summary of why it’s so bad? If only as an object lesson about how NOT to make a spy movie with Pierce Brosnan.

Three of three QT3 podcasters hated it.

Not to mention a friend of said podcasters who saw it with some of them.

But at least the movie gave us Kellywand’s spot-on impression of Olga Kurylenko in the synopsis.

-Tom

The non-spoilery version is that it’s essentially a straight-to-VHS “thriller” with a completely nonsensical plot, bewildering (and I mean BEWILDERING) character motivations, gaping plot holes (the next president of Russia is staying in a hotel with only 4 personal security guards and no other police/military presence, not to mention any kind of staff, or media, or protestors), and you get the feeling that it was all rewritten to take place in Belgrade because Serbia gave them the biggest tax breaks. Oh, yeah, and terrible acting by pretty much everyone, including all the Canadian and Australian actors they use because they blew their star budget on Brosnan and Will Patton.

I’ve seen episodes of Strike Back that are more believable than this.

If you’re expecting anything Bourne or Bond, rid yourself of that expectation right now. It basically reminded me of a sillier version of the terrible Tom Berenger/Billy Zane movie Sniper, and that thing was so awful it still scars my memory 20 years later.

And, yeah, the podcast guys are right; there’s a distinct moment in the movie when you realize, Holy Shit, this movie is terrible and it isn’t going to get any better. I was very tempted to walk out.

Wow – Thanks for the warning – I was looking forward to this one.

Heh. I’m reminded of the dreadful movie The January Man. Wow. Was that 25 years ago? It must have been really bad for me to remember it at all.

Seems like a curse against movies that have a month in the title.

Though I guess Sweet November was just sappy.

— Alan

Martha Marcy May Marlene!

Seven Days in May would like to disagree.

Was March of the Penguins any good?

October Sky.

-xtien

January Jones.

Oops, wait, I think I did it wrong.

-Tom

Sounds like a 3x3 topic…

Okay yeah I stand corrected. I think October Sky was kinda schlocky though.

— Alan

I kept wanting to use Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Well this thread is really making me want to see The November Man. And there’s an opsis for it? I’m in.

Juno.