The Onion - "Who Will Carry on My PlayStation2

“… adventures after I’m gone?”

There is still hope that I will find a woman and, with her, sire an heir to continue my work. But I’m not getting any younger. I first noticed it in little ways, such as my loss of appreciation for the Mario titles. When I grew apart from Nintendo and its cartoon games, it was part of the maturation process, a sign of my readiness for a more sophisticated, grown-up gaming system. Someday, the PlayStation 2 will no longer be enough for me, and I’ll put it aside and go on to other systems without regret—especially since Sony’s next system will probably be backwards-compatible with older games, as the PS2 was with PS1 titles. When I do, I will be one step closer to that Final Level we all eventually reach.