The pen is mightier than

Everything else
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19 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
Just too good of an offer to pass up!, July 30, 2006
By buzz - See all my reviews

After noticing the Low Price seal, I picked up 2 of these babies the other day. I still can’t believe I only paid a little over $8 million for the pair! This is the deal of the century, not to mention the best purchase I’ve ever made in my life. Fits along really nicely with my $2 million speaker system and $500,000 tv stand.

Plus, what really blew me over the edge was that I also signed up for an Amazon Visa at the same time. I saved a whole $30 off the price and got over $120,000 worth of Amazon Visa points! Shipping fee was what kept me at 4 stars… a bit pricy at $97 each but only being 0.0025% of the unit price, it wasn’t a tough pill to swallow.

From the TV review.

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Upon receiving my order, I carefully opened the box and dug through the packing peanuts in order to get to the pen contained therein. ‘Beautiful!’, I thought, and promptly opened up my moleskine notebook to jot down to myself some notes. My previous pen had ran out of ink four weeks prior and I didn’t want to splurge on expensive shipping, which meant I had a lot of notes to catch up on writing.

But, when that quality carbide ball touched the surface of the paper, it was not ink that came out. From a distance I heard the screams of men and the cackling of innumerable ravens. I stopped, cold and sweating profusely. I looked down at the Bic Crystal black medium ballpoint pen which I held in my hand, only to see darkness. I dashed it against the wall, recoiling in horror. I saw in the corner of my eye my faithful notebook, which now lay on the ground. Once unmarred, I saw now the small mark which I had made with the devil’s own pen. It spread across the page like a plague, and looking at it I gazed upon true horrors. For, what I thought had been ink was in fact a portal to a dark, unforgiving dimension. A portal whose maw was now widening to engulf all hope and joy in the world.

‘God, what have I done?’ I exclaimed as I weeped and fell to my knees, ‘What have I done?’

From beyond the Dark Gate I heard these words, words which I can never forget. A terrible, booming voice said to me, ‘Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!’

I ran, blindly stumbling, away from that place and never looked back. My only hope is that none shall follow in the path I’ve walked down, too blinded by hubris to realize my follies.

From the Bic reviews.

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I see absolutely nothing wrong with anything written in that review.

Except that it wasn’t written about Ernest Scared Stupid.

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My favorite of those I’ve read is the left handed pen one that Brad quoted above. Not the best creative writing of the bunch, but the most elegantly hilarious IMO.

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Just as a counterweight to the more elaborate ones:

Surgical Extraction Necessary…, 18 Dec 2007
By C. Cyr “ZombieKiller” (STLMO, USA) - See all my reviews

This pen is shaped perfectly for insertion…but not for extraction. Future models should be more aerodynamic at both ends.

Respectfully

krise madsen

PS: It is events like this that tells me there is still hope for mankind.

26

What about the fact that it was posted by DeezNutz-2 from the Ukraine?

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Don’t mock him for what our limited Western charset does to his beautiful Slavic name, JPR!

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I said the exact same thing to my friends when I sent them the link to the pen reviews.