The worst but most relevant thing you'll see all week: The Happening

Title The worst but most relevant thing you'll see all week: The Happening
Author Tom Chick
Posted in Movie reviews
When March 25, 2020

Look, I’m not necessarily recommending that you watch The Happening again. I wouldn’t do that to you. But I am saying the basic story, which I’ve always thought was intriguing, is especially relevant during the coronavirus pandemic…

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Its not a good movie, but I’ll give The Happening credit for having the balls to include a scene of two kids getting shot and killed.

And for making that scene unintentionally funny.

The premise is that plants, who can communicate with each other, feel threatened by the damage humanity has inflicted on the environment. So they band together and rapidly evolve to emit neurotoxins that block the receptors in our brain that keep us from harming ourselves.

Is that for real?? Holy crap, now I kind of want to see this movie! I lost interest in Shyamalan somewhere back around The Village but maybe I’ve been looking at his movies all wrong.

Right? That was kind of unexpected. First the pudgy kid gets shot because he was being a jerk and asked for it, and you think, “Oh noes, now they only have the one kid left!” Then the black kid gets shot right in the head and you’re all, like, “Wait, two of them just got killed?”

-Tom

100%. It’s all sciencesplained for you in the movie, first by a guy who likes hot dogs, then by Mark Wahlberg himself.

-Tom

This movie was so bad. I don’t remember all the details, but I remember literally laughing out loud at the stupidity of it all. (Which is not something I usually do in theaters)

To be fair, as a director, M. Night Shyamalan manages occasional effective and eerie scenes in even his worth movies.

Heh, well, that kind of works, too. Fixed! Thanks for the heads-up.

-Tom

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This movie is so bad it’s awesome. Running away from plants in this movie rivals the scene in The Day After Tomorrow where they are running to escape cold air.

Do we know Mark Wahlberg’s stance on hotdogs?

Or Chronicles of Riddick, where they run to escape the rising sun?

Another classic example, and a good one. As terrible as it is, I love that movie (but I hate The Happening and The Day After Tomorrow, though I have been known to hate-watch them).

Oh I do too! It’s like a hundred million dollar B-movie, like they just told Vin Diesel to go nuts and by god, he did.

“I’ll kill you with my teacup.”

That happened in the second Mummy movie too, right?

I remember Mark Wahlberg saying something to the effect of “no, I wouldn’t do that” in this and his delivery is just… so utterly sincere to the point it would be sarcastic in any other setting.

Bird Box clearly owes something to this movie.

You know, I’m certain I’ve seen that movie but I remember nothing about it. Is that the one with the sexy mummy?

Depends–what’s your take on Arnold Vosloo?

An attractive man to be sure, but I was actually thinking of her:

I’ve not seen this claptrap, but the cough syrup monologue sounds outstanding. I may have to look for the clip of that part.