I thought it was pretty bland too. But, to be fair, anything would have seemed bland after last week’s review, which was the funniest one he’s ever done.

The Uncharted 2 one? I guess I’m dead inside.

Nah, it’s probably something about it that just appealed to me personally. All his animations last week and all the jokes made me laugh out loud. I’ve never laughed so much at any of his reviews.

His review of Duke Nukem Forever is still my favorite one.

Ok, apologies for contributing to thread derailment, but does anyone else realize that the Sonic games are all designed specifically to not let you do the thing the game is supposed to be about?

Sonic’s whole gimmick is that he runs fast. But unless you have all the levels memorized, you can’t actually run fast, or you will die to spikes, or to enemies, or whatever. And even then, you still have to stop every now and then for a wall to cycle out of your way, or a floating platform to get in range so you can jump on it.

This has always annoyed me. Sonic runs fast, but don’t you make him run fast, or you’ll get spanked. Bad games. But good soundtracks.

i think it’s because dragon age is actually a good game and he grudging liked it. thereby the only real negatives he could lay on it were the safe, obvious ones.

What? In the first 2 Sonics (the only ones I played) you could run fast a lot of the time. All those spikes & whatnot could be avoided if you had quick reactions and followed the suggested “coin trail”, or whatever the developers left floating there. It’s been awhile, so I can’t remember if they were stars, or coins, or whatnot.

Sonic 1 sucked. And I don’t mean by comparison - I mean it’s just not a good game beyond the first stage, which the developers realised, so they used the lessons they learned there and applied them to the sequels making them rad. By ‘tightly designed’ I just meant ‘shorter’ - Sonic 3’s stages are just too damn long and bloated. Plus the level design is just way more of a mixed bag - there are some real stinkers like carnival night zone that wanted to be casino night but wasn’t (marble hill zone is pretty obnoxious on your first couple of playthroughs too, tho it’s fun when you understand how the gimmicks work).
Sonic 2 was non-linear enough - non-linearity isn’t necessarily better (unlike Qt3 would have you believe) so it doesn’t automagically put Sonic 3 over 2 - in a game essentially made up of branching paths as opposed to multiple ways of dealing with situations, non-linearity is just as annoying as it is fun. Not a killer argument.

  • Sonic 3’s 3D bonus stages were decent, and the pinball and globe hopping stages were at least short and easy. But NO sonic game has ever had bonus stages worse than Sonic 2’s impossibly difficult, low-framerate, buggy, half-tube bullshit. Worst bonus stage EVER.

The grid stages were shit, not decent - but reconsidering, they were better than Sonic 2’s. Especially if you had that piece of shit Tails along for the ride. The other bonus stages were great, actually - they should have just dumped the 3d ones and used them instead. One thing Sonic 2’s had is that even considering your complaints, they were at least theoretically beatable without rote memorisation - if you had skill, you could do it. Not so with Sonic 3.

  • In every aspect I can imagine Sonic 3 is the best of the series, certainly better than Sonic 2. I can debate this to the end of time, but that would derail the thread.

You are wrong.

Ok, apologies for contributing to thread derailment, but does anyone else realize that the Sonic games are all designed specifically to not let you do the thing the game is supposed to be about?

Sonic’s whole gimmick is that he runs fast. But unless you have all the levels memorized, you can’t actually run fast, or you will die to spikes, or to enemies, or whatever. And even then, you still have to stop every now and then for a wall to cycle out of your way, or a floating platform to get in range so you can jump on it.

This has always annoyed me. Sonic runs fast, but don’t you make him run fast, or you’ll get spanked. Bad games. But good soundtracks.

Hell yes you can run fast - especially when you get good at the games (ie. learn through trial and error). The ring system was a brilliant solution to the problem you bring up that the theme of the games creates - it ensures your punishment is never absolute (if you have no rings left and you’re sprinting around like a maniac, you deserve to die). People complain about cheap hits at high speeds, but you been given a mechanism to deal with them that allows you to survive and learn - a hit in Sonic just doesn’t mean the same thing as it does in most other games. I grant there is some serious bullshit of the kind you are describing, you are exaggerating.

My fave thing about the series (there are definitely some annoying things) was introduced in Sonic 2: You collect rings. As long as you have one ring, you can survive, but you get rewarded for collecting as many as you can. You can trade these in at checkpoints for a chance at a chaos emerald (succeed or fail, you have no rings left). Get all the emeralds and you become a fucking monster, and rings take on a diiferent, and cool, role again. It’s very elegant and creative design. I think a lot of games could learn from that.

Yoshi’s Island is way better though.

It wasn’t tremendously funny, but I agree with just about everything he says about Dragon Age. Clichéd, clunky, yet compelling.

It felt like he was reviewing a different game to me because he basic dismissed probably the best part of the game, combat which is actually very refreshing compared to where the RPG genre is at generally, with a one liner comparing it to Mass Effect.

Though he is playing the console version.

Are you sure? He kept drawing the box of the PC version. Usually he uses the box art from the version he played.

He talked about the radial menu, which is for the console.

It’s a very accurate depiction of the console version’s gimped combat, really. The PC version is unquestionably superior in my opinion but I’m already 30 hours into the 360 version so whatever.

Awesome review, if only for the elf ears and the pants.

I thought he did fine with the DA review except he took the lazy way out making fun of the dialogue choices. It’s not all just good/neutral/asshole anymore. There must be some other jokes and commentary to make about it.

Good/neutral/get over yourself, Morrigan.

“I am uninjured because I am a robot, beep boop”

  • Alan

There are some aspects where I can see where you’re coming from, but in general the 2D platformers encouraged you to run fast, and rewarded players who did so. There are many scripted sequences were you have to run as fast as possible or you’ll die, and after all, there is a timer at the end of each stage - completing in less than 10:minutes gets you killed. In the latter games (the more 3D ones) you have a point though.

Overall I think the gameplay of the early sonic series was fantastic.

Taking your points in backwards order:

  1. There were definitely rings, and 50 ring bonus stages for emeralds in Sonic 1. All the things you describe in Sonic 2 are in fact in Sonic 1 except the Super Sonic feature. Perhaps you’re confused? Sonic 1 is widely considered to be better than Sonic 2, maybe you were thinking of the game gear version or something?

  2. I absolutely agree with you about the elegant design and the ring system.

  3. Sonic 3 was where the designers took the series from an interesting gimmick (Newtonian physics as high speeds) into a full fledged action/adventure game. I can appreciate both approaches to design, but Sonic 3 adds just enough elements to keep things interesting without losing sight of the core design strengths. As you say, Sonic 1 and 2 are not flawless games, and Sonic 3 has a whole lot less problems than they do. And its longer, better looking, more replayable, and more fair in terms of difficulty. More elaboration requires another thread.

  4. HAHAHAHAH no. you cannot beat sonic 2’s stages without rote memorization. While you could criticize Sonic 3’s bonus stages like that (I actually disagree but for the sake of argument lets say you’re right) at least in Sonic 3 you get more than 12 tries to complete 6 stages! The rings are found in levels and not at the end of acts, and there are often more than 2 in a single act! Compare to Sonic 2 which is designed to make getting Super Sonic practically impossible.

  5. Even if you don’t think that non-linearity is a value in and of itself (and btw, most of QT3 would agree with you - me and BobJustBob are about the only 2 people here who actually hold that position) most people that played Sonic 3 agreed that the level design was head and shoulder’s above the frankly boring sonic 2. Sonic actually introduced interesting challenges and puzzles, and enemies that did more than just walk around waiting to die.
    The brilliance of the design is that you can mix and match paths (Sonic 3), not just choose forks between one difficult and short path and a long and easy path (Sonic 1 and 2). Sonic 3 had better and more meaningful shortcuts and secrets, and other features that contribute to its replayability. Everytime I replay through Sonic 3 i find something I hadn’t seen before, unlike Sonic 2 or 3.

But I think we can both agree that Sonic and Knuckles was the best of both worlds - better than Sonic 3, and even better than either combined.

Sonic Rush on DS did a nice job with keeping speed up, thanks to the dashing system.

Sonic Adventure did a great job too with keeping speed as a factor (at least in Sonic sections), even 2 did during the actual Sonic/Shadow areas.

Of course, any Sonic game after that just doesn’t count, because it fucking blew.

While your points are all well-taken, I think you’ll find that Sonic 2 is the generally-held best game in the series among the majority of 16-bit Sonic fans.

I personally prefer the first one.

I guess I’m just surprised that Sonic is still so highly regarded. I mean, the game was essentially just a vehicle to deliver a company mascot that could compete with Mario. Let’s be honest people, the gameplay did not deliver in that regard.

Fuckin’ Toejam should’ve been the mascot, not boring ass Sonic.