Things are looking even worse for Microsoft

Okay, so one of my buddies calls me and asks if he can borrow one of my console game systems for the weekend. He’s been a good friend, so I don’t want to turn him down. My dilemma: which console will I miss the least for a weekend?

Not the Gamecube. Heavens, no, not the Gamecube. I still want to finish the last Rogue Squadron mission, plus there’s Super Smash Brothers, Gauntlet Legacy (yes, Gauntlet Legacy, goddammit, I love it no matter how ugly it is and I’m not ashamed!), and I’m about half way into Eternal Darkness. Certainly not the Playstation 2. There are just so many games I might want to noodle around with between bouts of posting on Qt3: Grand Theft Auto 3, try to unlock another fucking sword in Way of the Samurai, or toss in some old school action like Unholy War.

The Dreamcast? Well, one word: SegaSportsTennis2k2.

So that’s it. By process of elimination, the Xbox is the console I will miss least over the weekend. I unplugged it, put it in a grocery bag with two controllers and all my games, and handed it over to him. I expect Microsoft’s stock prices to drop accordingly.

 -Tom

P.S. This post is dedicated to Dave Long.

Tom, if you don’t want your xbox, I can take it off you as a donation and you can deduct from your taxes or sumtin, saying im some sorta illegal idiot. I need a new console. :lol:

etc

Thanks mtkafka, but I still have to finish that last timed mission in Halo. Plus, I can’t imagine you being interested in the Xbox’s main asset, all those jiggling breasts in DOA3. What with you being gay and all.

 -Tom

I’d make the same offer, Tom, but I’m married, so I’m not allowed to enjoy jiggling breasts on a console, either. :)

Tom it hurts me that you don’t know the real meaning of ‘gay’. It means loving you, the master, the pheargod… Tom Chick. :oops:

BTW, you leave ole Bubby boy alone… I mean all that pent up aggression against the limey is mean. I say that because gay men are all sensitive at meaness. He knew about NWN before you did. No reason to be so angry. Like Yoda says, “Anger leads to the dark side.”

Wurd…

etc

Aw Chick, ya old softie… a dedication… for me?

–Dave

Sheesh. Good thing for your friend’s sake you didn’t have an Colecovision with broken joysticks lying around…

Hey, I have an Atari 5200 with broken joysticks lying around. Will that do? Also a TI-99/4A with no joysticks, but with a Hunt the Wumpus cartridge. Let the good times roll!

Hunt the Wumpus was OK, but what you really need is Tunnels of Doom… :D

OMFG that game ruled! My friends and I would get together and each pick a different class, and pilot through the halls by comittee. When we got to a room and encountered a bad guy, we’d take control of our individual characters for the fight.

Many of the strategies we used to fight in that game are still used in MMOGs today (tanks forward, wizard nuking, cleric healing).

The worst part was waiting for the dungeons to load from the tape drive. :)

>Hey, I have an Atari 5200 with broken joysticks lying around. Will that do?

I think every Atari 5200 has broken joysticks – the buttons naturally died after a while, although there was a way to restore the connections that I read about in a FAQ, heh. I wouldn’t mind playing some Dreadnaught Factor again.

I spent a lot of time playing Dreadnaught Factor but on the Atari 800XL home computer in cartridge form. That’s one game I’d enjoy playing even today. That was great strategic shooting.

–Dave

Well MSFT is down $2.04 today. A little less than 4%.

Congratulations, Tom. Your little show of disrespect destroyed a little over 10 billion dollars in value in one day. Next time give us enough warning to get those short sell orders in.