Things that piss me off part 1

Clueless ATM users piss me off. Without fail, each week I get stuck behind someone who has never mastered the complexities of an ATM machine. Instructions like “Press for English or Espanol” and “Enter your password” seem to be far beyond their comprehension. Have you ever had to fight back the urge to lean forward and push the buttons for them?

Automated telco systems piss me off.With the explosion in the number of new telephone area codes, how many times have you accidentally dialed a number to hear, “We’re sorry. It is not necessary to dial a 1 or a 0 when calling this number. Will you please hang up and try your number again.” Since the phone company computers are smart enough to tell you this, why the hell can’t they simply route your call through? Millions of minutes are wasted each year - minutes that we could have spent doing other, more productive things.
The Miss American Pageant pisses me off. We all know that there are just two reasons for the Miss America Pageant. One reason is for lecherous men to ogle young women in bikinis. The other reason is for women to get all catty as they watch the pageant (“Look at her boobs! She had a boob job.”) Regardless, there are few things as stupid as watching a woman with Vaseline on her teeth and wearing 10 pounds of makeup twirling a baton and singing the Star Spangled Banner.
People who don’t pronounce the word “nuclear” correctly piss me off. It’s not pronounced “nuke-yew-ler”. The word only has seven letters. It’s not a difficult word to pronounce.
People who inject their petty political opinions into the course of everyday conversation piss me off. Some folks are really tightly-wound about politics. They know what’s right and by God they are going to share it with you!

People who eat pizza with a fork piss me off[/b] Ok people lets get one thing straight here, pizza is not pasta. It pizza, so eat it with you fucking hands!
Oh and while im at it, people who dont fold there pizza piss me off too, for God sakes the drippings are the best part!

People who “sign” their e-mails with a cursive font or, worse, a scanned image of their written signature. It’s ELECTRONIC mail, people. Get over yourselves.

But you know what really pisses me off? People who make up new handle personas and then immediately start spamming the board with posts.

Ya had me at the atm dealio and the whole telephone thing. The nuke thing just makes me laugh. Say it with me now… “NUKE-yew-ler LISA, its spelled NUKE-yew-ler.”

What really pisses me off, even more than people who talk constantly about the politics of the choice to eat anchovies and caviar (you baby fish murderers!!), are people who tell me how to eat a slice. Rolling a pizza just sounds weird and sometimes I actually want to taste the “dripppings” or various toppings on the slice, not off the plate. Some places, the pizza just basically falls apart when picking it up (what is up with greasy pizza…yuck). Too much of a mess to eat, thus ENTERS THE MIGHTY FORK seperating us from the monkeys who fling their poo. Its not like I’m eatin ribs here folks.

What pisses me off are douchebags on forums who talk shit but don’t even know how to have a conversation in real life.

Oh and dipshits (usually the same people as above) who constantly refer to their gf/wife/concubine whatever as if it justifies whatever the fuck they are saying if they have someone to breed with. The added bonus on this forum is that they like to point out how their woman has a gamecube or plays this rts with them.


That would make a good forum signature, wouldn’t it?

as said in a nother post, never trust any one who is too stupied to register

Way to spell.

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

hey dudes, get over yourselves with this nuclear thing. ‘nukular’ is an accepted pronunciation of the word in american english. check out, if you doubt. yes, regional dialects do exist.

Way to spell.[/quote]

Come on now, give the guy a break. He is retarded. And a hampster.

Superiority complexes piss me off. I’m above all that.

not retarded. retarted. as in, filled with tarty goodness, emptied, and filled again.

That frozen cardboard crap in your freezer is not pizza. Authentic Italian pizza is very moist and has a thin crust. The only proper way to eat it is with a fork. Ask any Italian.

Awesome, the Official Italian Pizza Eating Method from a guy named Wong*. In the words of Steven Colbert, “there’s a word for that, but, ironically, it escapes me.”

[size=2]* in Texas[/size]