Things we do that will surprise the aliens when they visit

Assuming alien races are monitoring our TV/radio transmissions and basing their impressions of our species on what they see, they’re likely to be surprised by some of our actual needs and habits.

For instance, the will not expect any of these things:

  1. Going number 2.
  2. Sleeping for more than 30 seconds.
  3. Unattractive people having sex.
  4. Children who are unable to instantly come up with witty retorts

What else?

I see a lot of potential in this thread.

God only knows what they’re expecting to find here.

Who says the aliens won’t have their own media, and their own experience with the divide between mass communication and reality?

This thread could, as robsam said, potentially be amazing…either that or a tear-filled journey of self-discovery, hope and ultimately, tragedy.

Or something.

Unicorn McGriddle, I look at it like this: When I go to Japan I am going to be thoroughly surprised if there aren’t Japanese men and running around dressed like giant penises and pissing in the streets in front of adoring phone-cam-wielding crowds of excited spectators.

Going number 2 is going to be classified as a horrid disease that first occurred in the 1990s, and South Park will be viewed as a documentary on that horrific ailment.

A documentary where the subject is small brown dapple of Christmas Cheer no less.

“Going number 2?” Sorry, I’m not a hipster…

kerzain, I look at it like this: spacefaring alien societies are hopefully going to have xenoanthropologists smarter than you.

Yea, but the rest of the crew will be grunts with grunt mentality.

That’s basically accurate.

They will definitely be surprised that most criminal cases do not, in fact, get solved. Period.

Also that very, very attractive women tend not to end up with shlubby but cantankerously amusing fat men.

The aliens will flee once they are confronted with Big Brother-style reality TV.
They’ll wonder why we all live on land, while there’s more room in the water.
Not sure what they’ll think of Brokencyde.

And they’ll be surprised that we don’t drill holes in our LCD screens.
Most of us, anyway.

Then they’ll listen to what the expedition leaders tell them about realistic assessments of Earth culture.

You don’t rub elbows with the blue collar crowd much do you?

How’s it going down on the docks, longshoreman?

Race riots and xenophobia every day.

Who’s the favorite in the Thursday forklift race?