Things you should never, under any circumstances, ingest but are technically food

Oh. My. God.

That looks bad in the commercial. Like, it’s the kind of garbage a 6-year-old would eat.

Why are two grown men eating that?

Puking contest.

See:

A real pizza burger is something I haven’t seen since I was a kid in the late '70s/early '80s in rural Minnesota. They were the greatest thing ever in my ancient memory. I’ve never been able to recreate it, but I’ve tried.

When someone says “Pizza Burger” I think of this:

Mozzarella cheese sticks, pepperoni, sauce, on a burger. Not great, but at least it doesn’t make my gag reflex kick in.

This was interesting, I don’t know why I’ve never had a pizzaburger. I do know that I’m not sure I’d eat these things though.

I know why I haven’t. It sounds either disgusting or pointless, depending on the ingredients, even in non-hot dog form

Very true, but everyone is all on the craft burger train here lately. I live within a mile of 3 burger specialty places. With nearly every other topping represented, I can’t see any reason why a pzzaburger wouldn’t be inclided.

I’d also equate it to when I lived in Italy and first arrived there. Seeing a fried egg, or peas, or salad greens of obscure veggies on a pizza there was the norm, not the exception.

Do you like meatball sandwiches?

Nope.

Then you would not like a pizza burger.

Found the alien.

I never much cared for them, but I only had them in school lunches.

Well I’ve made home made balsamic meatballs, with homemade marinara using garden grown tomatoes and basil. Topped with shredded real Italian Parmesan.

It was a taste orgy. 10/10, would make again.

I need this in and around my mouth ASAP.

. . . I want to go to there.

That looks horrendous. With so much mashed together it seems like what’s the point?

Last time I went to Arby’s the roast beef had a rainbow sheen. I left without eating it.

You fool! That was a secrete meatvitation to Beefy Billy’s magical Meatfactorium in Packerstown, PA! A once in a lifetime tour opportunity! I hear they’ve got a river of pink slime running through a drumstick forest in there!

Beef rainbows aren’t a sign of spoiled, tainted, or (sorry) magical beef.

Who knew you could make a diffraction grating with red meat? Still kinda gross, though.

It’s the same thing that happens to make rainbows on the surface of a DVD.

Another thing I don’t eat. ;)