Things you should never, under any circumstances, ingest but are technically food

I used to enjoy Progresso soups. Then at some point in the 1990s maybe earlier, they started to put a ton of corn syrup in them. Disgustingly sweet. I sent them an actual letter complaining, no reply. Never bought it again.

Campbell’s chunky used to be decent, then one day they became terrible.

Progresso is better these days, but they’re still mostly meh.

:)


You’re not wrong.

At least things cost more and you get less of it.

Wait…

Companies just trying to trim our waistlines, they are so thoughtful. You thought you were just buying a can of soup, you’re buying into holistic health!

Was never a big fan of Little Debbie except for one item - those strawberry and coconut things they had. I thought those were better than even Ding Dongs and Ho-Hos. Haven’t had one in probably 20 years, but they were my go-to snack for the longest time.

The oatmeal cookies were decent.

Read that as “unicorns” instead of “unions” and was like wtf?

I used to enjoy Nutty Bars. Nowadays, I think the sugar concentration is just too high. They’re basically instant heartburn in a wrapper. That’s just age talking though, it’s the same with any candy bar of significant size.


I almost put this on Facebook, except… well Social Media is probably not why this exists. This almost feels like it has the same place and prespread peanut butter.

Also Mayochup, like the word, sounds awful. I don’t even want to say it even though I eat maychup all the time since I put mayo and ketchup on a number of things, together.

Just go Puerto Rican and call it mayoketchup! Watch the video for pronunciation my typing cannot do justice :)

Ketch-onnaise?

I guess people might buy it. Seems like a dumb product to me, due to limited utility, but dijonnaise is fairly successful, I believe, so some people may like the convenience.

Edit: oh, it’s all Heinz? Probably a ploy to drill into Hellman’s market share.

It’s basically Marie Rose sauce. I don’t like it, but as a thing it long predates social media.

And for our American readers - toss in a bit of pickle relish and you have thousand island dressing.
Or a bit of Worcestershire garlic and pepper and you have Raising Cane’s sauce (based on my travels this summer, Cane’s must be the fastest-growing chain in the US, so if you don’t know about them now, you probably will soon).
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As for Mayochup - whatever business school taught marketing to those guys should give them their money back.

That’s just a gross sounding word right? There is nothing about ketchup and mayonnaise combined that disturbs me, but I can’t get past looking at or even saying the name.

Ketchayonnaise?

It will never by mustmayostardayonnaise

Ketchup and mayo is just fry sauce, which is fantastic stuff.

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SERVED WITH A SIDE OF FRY’S LOWER HORN