Tokimeki Memorial Girls Side 2nd Season - Actual Play: Balls Mahoney Rides Again

Bitch, I don’t even know you, how would I know?!

I bet he thinks that Harry is a really cool English name.

As I am out shopping for much-needed accessories, I come across my BFF Toudou and find out that her hobby is nail art. Not what I expected from my cool, athletic buddy but I’ll keep it in mind. Then I come across Harry and my new friend Haruhi out on a date.

My friends in this game are dumb.

That’s it for now. I’ll be back later tonight with more boytouching adventures.

Skinship is an amazingly creepy word. I keep having flashbacks to the lotion and basket scene every time I see it.

As much as I love onions, both raw and cooked, I can’t imagine voluntarily drinking onion juice. Or thinking it’d be in some way therapeutic - onions taste the way they do because they’re trying to prevent animals from eating them. We’re just perverse enough to enjoy eating onions and jalapenos despite that.

Here is the fashion designer for this game, Himeko. She is significantly less terrifying than Goro was in #1.

I am pretty sure she’s hitting on me, though.

It’s sports festival time and even though it’s the same three games that I hate from the first game, I decide not to be a grumpy asshole and go for the three legged race.

Saeki is concerned that I’m only doing this as an excuse to try to kiss him again, and I don’t really feel like I have the right to get mad at him for it given that I “teased the mouth” of a 10 year old earlier.

We get second place and Saeki puts on his bitchpants over it. You didn’t want to participate in the first place, don’t get all mopey over a decent finish.

Of course, the end of the Sports Festival brings the folk dance. At least there’s no pedostache to worry about this time.

Geeze, Harry.

God, all the men in my imaginary life are assholes.

Everything is weird to you, Saeki. Going after grandpa and calling him Master is starting to look like the most appealing option. Anyway, right after that it’s time for a date with Saeki.

At least I’m not showing off my armpit.

But he’s hiding the other armpit. Maybe because he hasn’t shaved it.

a pretty girl

This is going to be Epic!

Wakaouji walked Balls home and on the way he berated her about not studying enough for the upcoming exams. It’s true, she is pretty dumb, but then he follows up with that. He is such a dork.

Sure enough, Balls does pretty poorly on her exams. Saeki shows up to actually encourage her like a decent human being, which is kind of shocking.

I run into Harry in the hallway and discover that not only are both the guys I know assholes, they are both secretive assholes.

FML.

Oh poor Himeko, see looks like she had some kind of stroke!

Of course, this means I have to go on a date with him. I take him to a rap concert.

Fuck, you are demanding.

That might be a mercy at this point.

And he hates the concert.

… I have got to meet different guys.

Oh bitch, please. I can’t even. I am so in despair that I go out of my way to meet another guy.

Yes, but right now I’ll be anything you want. You see, this character is voiced by the guy who does Date Masamune in Sengoku Basara. If that means nothing to you, and it probably doesn’t, listen to this. I could giggle at him delivering romantic dialog all day.

So I take Shiba on a totally awesome date to the zoo and

What is it with dudes in the TMGS series and being paranoid about the animals at the zoo? I suggest that we stare it down.

At least he thinks it’s funny. And at no point during the entire date was he a dick. Hooray, my standards have been lowered!

Out of nowhere, Saeki calls me up and asks me to go out to the beach with him. I am naturally suspicious, he is the asshole who beat Balls-kun with a tray after all, but the game gives me no choice.

Well, that’s not the kind of trap I was concerned about, but still, what an ass.

Wait, you want Balls to wear WHAT? She rightly objects that it would be embarrassing.

Look, I don’t care if your grandpa calls himself Master, Balls is not your whore!

And Balls-chan agrees with me! It’s nice that the protagonist in this game is a little feistier than the protagonist in 1.

It’s summer training camp time. I have totally slacked off on cheerleading club, so this will go badly. When it comes time for me to cook dinner for the club, I find out that Himeko’s club is also staying in the same area. What kind of club is Himeko in?

Uh, maiden… training camp…? I don’t think I want to ask, it sounds like something Amanohashi would run.

Anyway, I make BLS Special Curry for dinner that night and

One could say that I am the pervert for reading the line that way, but only if they didn’t hear the way the voice actress delivered it. It’s a miracle indeed.

Field-trip time with Waka.

He is such a bad teacher.

… what the shit are you talking about, Shiba?

… WHAT?

Waka’s birthday is coming up, so I take pity on him and buy him a dictionary of modern slang. I feel like it would be more useful to just show him urban dictionary, but he is dumb as a rock, so maybe a hardcopy will help him more. While I am out shopping I run into Harry and Shiba. They are trying to help each other get over their different fears, apparently by yelling at each other.

And Shiba is wearing a totally badass unicorn shirt.

I think Shiba just likes fucking with people. I can respect that in a person, especially one who isn’t constantly hitting me and telling me to shut up.

That’s all for tonight!

Aw yeah 1000 knocks

Wat

The Return of Balls-kun - FUCK YEAH

It’s time! It’s time! It’s BALLS-KUN TIME!

I’m allowed to make multiple wrestling references, it’s my thread.

Hey, at least the administration at this school is on to the pervy teacher, as opposed to being FAR FAR WORSE than the teacher this time.

So I take Saeki out on another date and while I am ignoring him trying to insult me yet again I notice HIMURO. YELLING AT FISH. BE STILL MY HEART. I don’t even give a fuck what Saeki does anymore, it was worth it for that.

Or not.

… indeed. What the hell was that about? Tell me you suplexed him or something!

Frankensteiner maybe?

When I saw this, I was pretty sure that Balls’ happy high school life was coming to an end, but they were just arguing about hair. Whew. After that, I end up on a date with Harry.

Yeah, we’ll see about that.

Harry’s idea of an ideal date is getting to use Balls as his dress-up dolly, but at least he’s not being insulting or abusive.

By contrast, my next date with Saeki turned into an actual slap fight. What is wrong with these guys?!