Top one reason not to get married

The “Top ten reasons to never buy a diamond” thread.

I thought for sure you’d post something about lesbian anime in this thread.

That thread is a just a reason never to marry men.

Yep, it makes much more sense to marry dolphins.

Well, I could go over all my real reasons why I dislike marriage, but that wouldn’t be very fun, now would it?

They have prehensile penises.

So do I. What’s the big deal?

It would be more decent than using as your guide a thread full of guys who assume women are all interchangeable; that all women like diamonds and long-stemmed roses, all women like jewelry and teddybears, all women like being mortified in public by some guy falling on his knees in front of them and putting them on the spot.

I… what?

Wow, I’m…uh…not really sure what to say about that. How you extracted that from the diamond thread is entirely beyond me.

Does the list start and end with misogyny?

I have never bought a diamond and I’m married as hell.

Just find a cool girl who loves you, it is a snap. She won’t like diamonds or gold because diamonds and gold are more or less useless, save for drill bits and conductivity.

Or find a gal with a gold allergy :-)

It always amazes me how certain threads just bring out the inner hate in this group.

See, I’m not sure how to read this: “married as hell” could mean really, really married, or it could mean that marriage isn’t too swell unless you’re a fan of the demons and the pitchforks and the burning.

If it’s the latter, maybe she’d be nicer if you’d bought a diamond!

I kid. I kid.

My wife wants me to buy her a pair of these instead:

I love my wife

Mawwiage…

Wuv… Wrue Wuv…

mawwiage is what bwings us togethah today

It’s an outdated contract based on an expectation that is best left dead and buried (that you will find someone you will love for the rest of your life, not saying it won’t happen, but telling people that it’s to be expected has probably caused considerable suffering), it has “most favoured relationship” status with the government, which in these days of untraditional living situation is irrational. It also propagates coupling as a life goal, which is rather ridiculous.

You were right, that wasn’t very fun. :-)