Twice the Uweness in Dungeon Siege

Dungeon Siege will be two movies! Careers to be sunk this time around are Jason Statham’s and Ray Liotta’s.

Because of Uwe, there probably won’t be a Transporter 3. Dammit!

wtf? I still can’t grasp how they can make a hac and slash rpg a movie. I can’t even imagine how bad that thing is going to suck.

I don’t really understand that “we hate UWE” sentiment, because I haven’t seen any of his movies --looking at his list of films, what the hell have people even seen?

I don’t hate him at all, I just find his career extremely amusing.

Just watch the previews…

So we’ll get what, 20 hours of people (and a donkey!) walking in a straight line hitting shit nonstop while being spit at by spiders we can’t see?

Go find that preview for Alone in the Dark, and you’ll understand. It’s shockingly, amazingly bad. So bad that Battlefield Earth looks like Doctor Zhivago next to it.

H.

Read the imdb reviews of “Alone in the Dark,” They are a fucking riot.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369226/usercomments

I haven’t seen any of Boll’s movies.
so I honestly wonder what was bad about them?

Can anyone shed some light?

wtf? I still can’t grasp how they can make a hac and slash rpg a movie. I can’t even imagine how bad that thing is going to suck.[/quote]

Hey, the first game was like a movie. You just watched most of the time.

I’m interested in knowing the business sense behind making a movie out of a game. Obviously, there’s some built-in audience for the movie, but this Uwe guy must have it down to a formula.

Ray Liotta? Is his career that far down the toilet already? I love Goodfellas.

But that is what is truly amazing about this guy. Anyone can make a bad movie with a bunch of no name actors and just unleash it and call it a day. But Uwe gets promotional budgets and big name actors… for terrible, terrible movies.

It truly is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

Unless you take the position the Uwe Boll is an alien with mind-controlling tentacles.

I think his career was officially flushed after ‘Turbulence’. Uwe Boll is a natural progression for him.

[quote=“MikeOberly”]

I think his career was officially flushed after ‘Turbulence’. Uwe Boll is a natural progression for him.[/quote]

Copland was an excellent movie, Ray Liotta was great in it and it came immediately after Turbulence.

After a ton of build up the movie was a flop, so I doubt it did much for his career.

I think his career was officially flushed after ‘Turbulence’. Uwe Boll is a natural progression for him.[/quote]

Copland was an excellent movie, Ray Liotta was great in it and it came immediately after Turbulence.[/quote]

I guess somebody missed Narc. Sure, it didnt exactly set the world on fire, but its an awesome movie.

Don’t forget the masterpiece de’ le triumph, House of the Dead

“Misbegotten horror movie adaptation of the best-selling video games.”
– Frank Scheck, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

0/4 “You’d be hard-pressed to find a duller, more incompetent – and less scary – flick with cheesier effects in a remainder bin crammed with direct-to-video horrors.”
– Lou Lumenick, NEW YORK POST

1/4 “Unpretentiously dumb.”
– Liam Lacey, GLOBE AND MAIL

1/4 “Here is yet another video game transferred to film with little enhancement or development.”
– Loren King, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

1/5 “Cutting around frantically in a vain attempt to stir up some energy, the director, Uwe Boll, drops in occasional images from the video game itself, as if he were subliminally trying to remind ticket buyers why they showed up in the first place.”
– Dave Kehr, NEW YORK TIMES

1/5 “Early hopes that this might qualify for so-bad- its-good status – the sea salt played by Clint Howard is a hoot – vanish under a volley of idiotic plotting and bad acting.”
– Peter Howell, TORONTO STAR

F “Even connoisseurs of bad movies will find little to enjoy in this one.”
– Gary Dowell, DALLAS MORNING NEWS

“Takes out a moviegoer’s limbic brain and cerebral cortex. All that’s left functioning is the reptilian brain, droning: Kill The Things. Kill The Things…”
– Bob Campbell, NEWARK STAR-LEDGER

F “To properly convey the jaw-dropping shoddiness of this videogame-based ‘horror’ ‘movie,’ one must approach what scientists call Absolute Stupid.”
– Scott Brown, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

Is it? I dunno. IMO it worked very hard at trying to be an awesome movie, and it was shot like one, but it was pretty meh when all the shouting and shooting had come to an end.

“you need an actor who can make the words SOUND smart, and Reid won’t be winning a Nobel Prize anytime soon (she’s proof that alcohol kills brain cells … with a vengeance).”
– Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM

“…asking the viewer to accept Tara Reid as a scientist is pure insanity, requiring a staggering leap of faith that I can’t even begin to contemplate.”
– David Nusair, REEL FILM REVIEWS

“Too stupid to watch, too loud to nap through, Alone in the Dark shows just how tenuous Plan Nine From Outer Space’s hold on that ‘worst movie ever’ title really is.”
– Roger Moore, ORLANDO SENTINEL

Above quotes about Alone in the Dark from Rottentomatoes.
There are many more just like it.

However, this, just makes me keep laughing.