UFOs are scouting our nuclear weapons stockpile

I remember hanging out on a UFO usenet board. It was fascinating. Lots of people there claimed to be in near constant contact with aliens. They seemed so deluded.

And of course the government was actively involved in the conspiracies, spreading disinformation. One guy was convinced that the UFO stuff itself was made up by the government because what it was really covering up was the existence of magical fantasy creatures, like trolls and pixies and brownies.

Is the narrative really deceptively peaceful aliens? No wonder those xcom remakes keep failing. Guess I need to get out more. I still thought it was doomsday weapons obliterating cities.

There’s an XCOM mod where you have to maintain funding and support to bring lemonade and ice cream to the friendly aliens — you have to locate their parties across the globe and send transports, then deploy a team to hand over the supplies on a tactical map. It’s pretty fun.

Dear Orz,

Despite what you may have seen on the airwaves, we do not have a desire to dance with the stars.

Respectfully yours,

People of Earth

Snow Leopards rock.

Aliens? Eh, who knows? Doubtful, though intriguing. Things hovering around military installations? My guess would be more along the lines of some earthly, if advanced, scouting/recon/intel gathering tech, either from some other country our our own people (testing our defenses, whatever).

Or swamp gas. There’s always that.

Actually, the probability of there being alien life elsewhere in the universe is quite high.

I tripped the other day, and when I looked back, there was nothing there.

This is my proof of the existence of super mice.

You mean invisible super mice. Plain old super mice would be ludicrous.

Wasn’t that clear from my story?

I thought so, but some idiots believe in incredibly FAST super mice, instead of invisible ones. I know you aren’t stupid enough to believe that, but I wanted to make sure it was clear to everyone what you must have meant.

Where are all the Ruskie kooks with their version of aliens finger-wagging their nuclear stockpile stories? Gulag?

Now go back to my post, read the list, and see if I included what you’re trying to say. Any time you start a sentence with “Actually, . . .” that’s a good time to stop.


Hop off your troll horse for a second and read what I wrote. I did not comment on your rant about whether or not aliens have visited us, but rather your comment that “it’s a near impossibility” of there being alien life.

Unless, of course, you’re saying that multitudes of scientists who are smarter than everyone on this board combined, including Stephen Hawking, are wrong.

Your problem is you quoted the intro to a list and then responded as if it were a self contained sentence. Taking incomplete clusters of words out of other peoples’ posts and responding to them entirely out of context is a dickish thing to do.

I fucked me some a them super mice too, I tell you what

And again, please read my list. In no way did I exclude the possibility of alien life, in fact I would guarantee that alien life exists. Quit arguing against what you think I said, and read what I “actually” said.


In fairness, you were being pretty dismissive to the prevailing opinion which is that whatever they’re seeing it’s worth investigating.

Yes I was, for the reasons I stated. How hard is this? Alien life is not the same as aliens in flying saucers over major cities. I’m positive there is life on Earth, that doesn’t mean Buzz Aldrin is anal probing little green men somewhere around Alpha Centauri.


It’s ridiculous that you’re suggesting there are no mice anywhere in the universe.


It’s the swiss.
They don’t want nuclear war, because their neutrality won’t mean shit then, and there will be nobody to sell chocolate too.
Don’t believe all this crap about cuckoo clocks and bank accounts, those guys are obviously super-technologically advanced. They have spaceships they use to stop russia and the US nuking each other.
Seriously, it’s the swiss.