Grandkids: Pappy, can you tell us about Trump?
Me: Well, you see, he broke a lot of laws to get elected president. And then when he was elected president he shut the government down so he would stop being investigated!
Grandkids: Aren’t there checks and balances that would stop that sort of thing? We learned that in the 3rd grade!
Me: Well, about that…(Turning around) My bladder ain’t what it used to be! Run along now kids! I’ll catch up with you in a minute (Pants unzip, blessed release of bladder pressure) Audible grunt
Sally (scamp of a granddaughter): (Running back) Why did you bring us out to this graveyard anyway?
Me: No reason
(We both walk away together, with Mitch McConnell’s grave freshly watered)
Pr0n will pay for the wall y’all:
Republican Rep. Gail Griffin, R-Hereford, has introduced House Bill 2444, which would make “distributors” of devices that allow access to the internet install software to make the offending material not viewable. To remove the blocking software, a person would have to pay the state $20.
Who could think this would work?
The bill is not something new to the adult entertainment industry, but “the border wall twist is new,” Stabile said.
Similar bills have been proposed in recent years in Virginia, Kentucky, Alabama, Utah, Rhode Island and South Carolina.
Oh.
The bill also appears to be connected to a prominent anti-gay activist who is most famously known for attempting to marry his computer in protest over gay marriage.
Oh.
Saw this story tweeted out yesterday. My favorite reply:
“Siri, show me the ONE way to get white men to drop any support for the wall.”
Oh man. There are few things I’d dread more than being trapped in an elevator with Trump and Yngwie Malmsteen.
Throw in the voice of Geddy Lee (how did it get so high?) screeching along and I’m right there with you.
I dunno. Throw in a catchy slogan like “BUILD A WALL & CRIME WILL FALL!” and it might just work.
“KEEP ON CUMMING TO KEEP THEM FROM COMING!”
“CHOKE YOUR CHICKEN AND BROWNS WILL BE STRICKEN!”
Etc.
I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?
Donuts seems like a fun guy, and he actually earned his accomplishments in life.
Putting the entire Trump crime clan behind bars would put a much larger dent in crime statistics than a wall from Hawaii to Portugal.
Let them have cake
Pepperidge Farm remembers when Obama was the out of touch elitist, according to these people.
Ah yes, Eric Trump’s worthless, witless wife. Get this clan the fuck out of power.
Except Trump doesn’t care or even believe those polls, so it’s more painful for Senate Republicans who actually do pay attention and might have to get elected again.
Right, for this to get moving, senate republicans need to break ranks. As they get more and more unpopular, look for that to happen.
Senators need/want to be reelected. I’m starting to think more and more that Trump does not. He doesn’t care what polls say or people think. He wants his wall because he thinks it gives him a “win”, and he’s willing to break the United States Government to get it. He’s willing to risk losing in 2020 to get it. He’s miserable, and the thought of SIX more years versus two is probably a nightmare for him. This means he has nothing to lose, and it also means there is no way to get him to compromise.
To fix this, the government is going to have to unite and overrule the President, and if that were to happen, imagine how unstable Trump would get then.
